Do 13 yo girls owe blind obedievce to their moms?

Question

Im posting this question for me and for a girl my age I got to know here, we got similar problems.The thing is: you're mom tells you to do something unreasonable in your opinion. Many people, including other parents agrees w/ you and even try to talk your mom out, but she doesn't back off. You talk w/ your mom but she doesn't change her mind. In my case I'm sure it's out of love though she goes kinda overboard. In my friend's case it's something really insane. Do we have to obey our moms anyway? My mom, for support and modesty,forces me to wear bras I don't like and are not the kind of a bra a 13 girl enjoys, though I'm a C cup. There are other bras I'd enjoy and would do the same job. My friend is forced to wear frilly pinafores all the time at home, even when someone comes to her house, and sometimes has to go out w/ her mom wearing them. No matter how cute those aprons are, of course she gets really embarrassed. taking for granted our moms won't back off, what should we do?

This question may suggest we're spoikled brats, but we are not. When it comes to questions about problems involving teens and parents, adults usually say the teens are brats, no mattere what the problem is,

Answer 1

Well if your mother is paying for it than I suggest you wear it. When you can pay for your own things (and by pay I mean get your own money, find your own way to the store, etc) then you can probably challenge her.
Mom is probably doing all she can and knows to raise you to the best of her ability, challenging her motherhood and knowledge is only going to make things worse unless you have a strong case and go about it in a respectful manner as a young adult.
We have all had to do things that we did not want to or that we believed were not in our best interest. As time goes by all of those insane things will begin to make more sense to you and your friend.

Answer 2

Well, I'd say the bra thing, maybe your Mom feels the ones you are picking are inappropiate for your age. I usually buy cute bras, with the thought that my husband will be seeing them, so maybe your Mom believes you have the same idea about other boys. It's something that goes under your shirt, so no ones going to see it. If it is the case about other boys, then your too darn young!!! Wait, 3-4 years. Your Mom has no other attent then concern and love for you. The age your at is a tough time for us Mom's we don't want to see you grow up, and I'm sure the fact that your ready to where a bra is hard enough let alone the fact that you want to have cute or sexy ones. In a few years you'll be able to get a job and buy the cute clothes that you want.

As for the pinafore thing, she should really have a talk with her mom, cause that is a little strange. Frilly little aprons? I'm not saying get angry or snap at her, just say that it embarrasses her and would really not like to have to where them in public or when friends are over. But, will still where them every now and then, just for Mom.

Anyway, good luck.

Answer 3

I can't understand the mothers' reasoning here, maybe w/ some insight into their reasoning I might feel differently, but going on just what you've said here, I don't understand. I have a 12 yr old daughter that is "heavy" chested and I usually have her pick out her own bras. I explain to her the difference in them, tell her what I think would work, and then "we" pick out what she thinks looks good and feels comfortable. Now, keep in mind I'm not letting her pick out sexy lingerie type garments. That would be inappropriate. But we do look for comfort & function. A bra should always feel comfortable & be be supportive. Those underwires can be a real nightmare sometimes. And as for your friend, I like to think I'd never make my daughter wear something that I knew was causing her embarrassment. Being a teenager is hard enough. Teens always seem to be worried about embarrassing themselves, and a parent should be sensitive to that. I have to wonder, does her mother and other females in her family have to wear pinafores too? Is there some reason for them? If not, why does her mother "force" her to wear them? Just because she can? I would like to be able to help you girls more, but w/out a better understanding of what your mothers' reasonings are it is difficult. Maybe you could have someone else in your families speak to your moms, like a grandmother or an aunt or another adult that you think might hold some weight w/ your moms. Best of luck girls.

Answer 4

Guess what? You didn't come with an owner's manual. Your Mom is doing the best for you based upon her life experience. At best it is a challenge for us as parents to keep up with you as your life experiences are different than ours. The media has changed society's ideas about what is OK and what's not and a lot of the ideas are not good for 13 yos period. While you may have more head knowledge than we did at that age what you do NOT have is life experience and believe me, that is worth a LOT MORE than head knowledge. OK, we're not perfect but you have to understand that you are loved more than anything you can imagine and we, as parents, want to let you have a happy life and enjoy life as a kid as long as you can. Adult responsibilities you do NOT need, besides you'll get them soon enough.

OK, so you have to deal with a white bra (my assumption) that is not from Victoria's Secret and your friend has to deal with pinafores instead of denim. If that is your biggest problems in this world you have no problems. . . you have inconveniences from your point of view. Your Mom is not blind. She sees that you are physically a young woman. She also knows things you have not experienced such as the challenges you face with your peers in everything from what you were to how you act to what you do and there are some real challenges out there that you hopefully have not had to face yet (you will and too soon). Why, though, worry about them when you don't have to. Now is the best time of your life. Enjoy your friends, enjoy school activities and church activities. Be content to be 13 and learn everything you can. Set your standards high (morally and ethically, that is, be totally fair) and let people look up to you as a leader not a follower. You Mom is probably trying to set you apart as a leader. This is a GOOD thing. Don't let your "friends" talk you out of it. Be all you can be. . .successful, attractive, and a girl with standards. You will ALWAYS win that way. (and so will your friend). Love your Mom for her standards and when you grow up you'll find that you will thank her for her actions. Believe me, that WILL happen.

Answer 5

Life is difficult. One of the things one can say in defense of moms is that they can see around corners and kids cannot. (That means moms have a better chance of seeing the possible consequences of a decision where their offspring probably won't.) What do you do? Well, you have all sorts of options. Get on drugs, drink booze, do what you want anyway, or hang on and you'll get to go through the process with your kids--at which time, you'll understand some of your mom's decisions.

Answer 6

Tell your mom nicely as for the frilly pinafores, I don't think her mom would physically force her to wear frilly pinafores. Tell your mom what you like to wear but tell her nicely and whatever you do, don't tell her you hate her or wish you were never born it's all just more motivation for your mom to get back at you and bug you.

Answer 7

its hard being a teenager,i was one once,what seems like five minutes ago.i found it scarey,nerve wrecking,terrible,wonderfull and exciting all in one go.i wondered why i wasnt a child anymore and couldnt wait to be a grown up.i wanted to be beautiful and attractive and fashionable and often felt embarresed,awkward and out of place.i felt my parents didnt understand me at all and i didnt want to listen to their advice.i made alot of mistakes and i wish i had listened to them alot more.however i still feel they didnt understand me,saying that alot of the time i didnt understand myself.im 34 now and still dont.i hope i can be the best for my kids though.its hard being a teenager and then its hard being a mum.sometimes lifes tough.you enjoy being a teenager as much as possible while it lasts,however,be respectable and respectful because mistakes you make now dont just get erased,they cling onto you and follow you through life.have fun and be careful

Answer 8

the bra. your mom is scared out of her mind that you will get harassed or pregnant. unless the garment is uncomfortable you should tolerate the modesty.
anyway, you and your friend could keep a change of clothes at another friends house. meet up there, change, and then go out.

Answer 9

You should make your mom understand what you like and what you need. Then you won't owe blind obedience to her, you'll just agree. Since when I started talking with my mom about my problems, everything was better. Then she would respect my choices and decisions and approve of them. She's like a friend to me now.
Hope it helped. :-)

Answer 10

If your biggest problem is your bra, then you better be thankful, little girl. You are truly a brat.