how do i go about being a bastard without losing my g/f any ideas subtle ways of taking a bit of control back?

Question

I am being walked all over by my g/f and need to do something about it. I really like her but she just take me for granted.

Just to let you lot know I negotiate multi million pound deals on a regular basis but dont want to play hard ball with my girl friend. Also I want to resolve this issue with out her even knowing that there was an issue. If you get what I mean.

Answer 1

Wow how long have you been passive?..........Try talking calm any time you talk, slow things down when she rants or orders you around smile remain calm and say NO if it suits the situation........and when giving in take you sweet time about it ....she can yell or order all she wants but you control your reactions..........in lots of relationships one is passive while the other is the pushy one........if you can't accept that tell try what i said politely.......then if it doesn't work, talk to her if she won't listen......put distance between you two......let her think on it for awhile ALONE! She either loves and respects you or she doesn't you will know!

Answer 2

If you are living together - start coming home late occasionally. If not - don't make yourself so accessible. Make some plans that do not include her...take up a hobby or class that is just for you! Take it one step at a time.....one little thing every day - could be as simple as saying - "no - I don't want to do that!" or "I'm going out for a while....!" You could also try talking to her and explain how you FEEL! If she is dismissive or abusive about your feelings - then you may need to reassess where your relationship is going! You obviously want to be with her - but how long do you intend to let her treat you this way??? You are in a win/win situation..............tell her how you feel and she might listen to you and things will change for the better.....tell her how you feel and she might tell you to go to hell - in which case you can dump her without feeling guilty. Either option is going to leave you in a better situation than you are in now!

Answer 3

There are plenty of books on being assertive. You don't have to be a bit of a bastard, just be assertive.
If you want to go for a drink, say so. And stick to it unless there's a good reason for not doing so. By the way, it will probably improve your relationship because no woman wants a man they can walk over. But do listen to her and don't play power games, just for the sake of it. She might hae a good point that you're ignoring because you feel resentful.

Answer 4

Be stubborn. Take your side, and stick to it. No need to be a bastard about, or even get mean. All you need to do is put your foot down, and that is that. If she tries to talk you out of it, leave her presence quietly, or don't talk further about it. If she leaves you, then she never did love you. When you start out with the next girl, just make sure when you make a decision, you stick to it, be more stubborn...even at a loss. You're point is stonger. Also, don't let moms and sisters walk on you, she'll see that you're really a wiener in disguise then.

Answer 5

Put your foot down and don't give in ,the only way she'll take you seriously is if you go through with it. Its impossible to respect a man if you can treat him like dirt,even if he is doing it out of love or whatever. Trust me I know. I had a lovely boyfriend who I basically drove away through taking him for granted but it taught me a very important lesson and guess what......I'll never do it again,oh and by the way you are not being a bastard by doing this either....I hope it works out for you!!!!x.

Answer 6

Confront her or sit her down and tell her that you don't appreciate the things she's doing to you lately. You feel like you're being taken for granted. There's nothing wrong with a little honesty, just do it nicely and in a calm tone. Tell her what it is you want her to do when you feel that she's walking all over you. If she denies that she does that, just point it out to her the next time she does it and tell her that when she does it, you feel unloved and unappreciated. Good luck!

Answer 7

Stop being a boy and grow up and be a man you wuss.......oops sorry did i make you cry . man come on you soft **** get some balls or im going to run over their and ***** slap you to knock some sense into you i mean this is a woman whos bossing you around she will loose attraction for you if your not carefull ....well that would of started already . Good luck and your the boss not her be dominant etc .

Answer 8

Communicate with her in a tactful way that you simply don't care for the way you're being treated. Do you treat her the way she treats you? It all comes down to the golden rule...treat others as you would like to be treated...be consistent in your actions acknowledge and apologize for any mistakes you might have made while giving her the opportunity to acknowledge and apologize for her own. Point out that you want to see your relationship grow and prosper in a healthy way...not end in anger due to miss-communication. Seek the assistance of a relationship counselor and learn your boundaries.

Answer 9

Not an easy question.

If you are really fed up. Tell her you need more out of a relationship and dump her. When she comes back, things will be better for a while, but I suspect the way she treats you is just her personality.

Been there.

Answer 10

if you be a bastard as you say you will lose her, as for the control just learn to say no, if she walks all over you i am thinking there must be a reason why you let her, solve this reason and also tell her how you feel, we like it when men are honest