Anybody else fed up with being called by their christian name by salesmen etc.?

Question

You might consider me an old fuddy duddy but I find it very improper for salesmen, tradesmen etc., to call me by my christian name instead of Mrs.......etc.

I was always taught that it is rude to do this, unless told "please call me Sue" etc.

Would it be considered fussy to ask them to call me Mrs., and what would be the least pedantic way of asking them.

Nice to see that it is not just me who thinks this then!

It is nothing to do with class, but a form of respect.

I shall be asking them to call me Mrs. in future. It's nothing to do with age either.

Answer 1

I live in a small town where I see them same delivery person, bank teller even the check out person at the grocery store all the time. It doesn't bother me to be called by my first name. I find it friendly that they would say thank you Sarah instead of Mrs.Harber. It's too formal. Now if I am away from home I think Mrs. Harber would be fine. Does that make sense?

Answer 2

Yes it is improper for them to do that. Sometimes I can over look it, if they seem to be very polite in other ways. However, there is always something about it that always makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when they do it.
I think many of the "what is socially acceptable" lines have definitely been blurred, especially with sales people these days. I find some of them tend to come on to strongly in a flirtatious manner. I don't know if they assume all women like that or if they just decide I would be comfortable with it. It completely turns me off. I much prefer a sales person that is professional, then once I've made my decission if they want to lighten up a little, probably okay. It would really depend on the situation and their skill at reading people. So probably best not to assume it anyway and keep it professional.
I have noticed, however, that it seems to me the number of women sales persons blatantly trying to use "sexuality" or the "flirtatious aren't I cute approach" to appeal to the customer seems to be far greater than the number of men that use it. Just an observation of mine. It's pathetic really.
People everywhere, don't stand for this.

Answer 3

Do I ever agree with you! and especially when they sound about half my age. So if you're a fuddy-duddy you have company. I also dislike it even more when people shorten my first name. I deal with this - with folks I don't care about - by saying 'It's XXXXX, actually - and with folks I do care about I say that they may be unaware of this, but people who call me XX are usually deemed to have given their body to science, effective immediately, and I'll credit them with not knowing this ... once.

If it's a saleman/tradesman whom you don't care about, I would just say 'Actually, I prefer to do business with people who have the good manners to wait until asked before using my first name,' and then stalk off/put the phone down. The problem comes when you're dependent on them to fix your plumbing or are otherwise at their mercy and so you don't want to offend them to the point where they retaliate. Here the only tactic I can suggest is one which works when you have a name that can be shortened/adapted/etc., in which case you can say something like 'Actually, once I'm on first-name terms with someone I ask them to call me XXXXXX (this being different from what they've just called you)' and hope that they take the point.

Hope that helps. Heavens, I'm a pedant!

Answer 4

I agree with you.I find it rude when salespeople use my first name. I also dislike it when children do that. It shows a lack of respect. I don't think you are a fuddy duddy because I'm 25 and feel the same way! As for asking them to use your title, just plain out say"please call me Mrs..." I think it is pretty sad when even the banks calls and ask for you by your first name.

Answer 5

If I'm workin for you, you can call me Bob. Otherwise it's 'Mr.' Bob!
Workers would be replaced, salesmen would lose the sale & yet we can 'withstand' those 'liberties' without someone losing the job or the sale, 'if' we accept the fact that, people just are not as formal & are indeed, insensitive to 'respect' in today's society. Different attitudes are displayed by different people. When asked how I like being addressed, my answer is merely, 'How old are you?' My idea is if you're younger it's 'Mr'. (Respect your elders!) If older, you have the right to call me anything you want!
So fed up? No. Slightly annoyed? Well I was until I got these two points fer my opinion! Now it's just a joke!

Answer 6

You are right, salesmen shouldn't, although if you expect tradesmen to call you Mrs, you should return the courtesy and call them Mr. I am particularly offended by the way elderly people are treated with such disrespect in care homes etc, and I think if staff called them "Mrs Smith" etc rather than "Doris" they might remember the boundaries more easily.

Answer 7

If they ask if it is alright to call me by my first name, then that's fine, but otherwise I expect to be called Mr. No, I don't think you are an old fuddy duddy, or if you are, then we both are. Manners is becoming a thing of the past unfortunately.

Answer 8

I relate immediately to automobile sales people.

I believe that practice is on page 43 of the sales manual. kidding.

I do think it's disrespectful. For many this was a practice with black customers by whites. I had the same respect for them as others. Their money was the same color as all others.

I had been in sales for 50 years. Never did that unless invited to use their given name.

I personally don't mind. I tell everyone that my Dad was Mr.

Answer 9

It's a sales maneuver - the old buddy 'ol pal thing. I agree, it's rude, unless asked "May I call you Grace?" or given permission in advance.

Ask their FULL name, then say, "Hello Mr. Smith, I'm Mrs. Jones". You'll be showing YOUR manners, and maybe they will get the hint. If they don't, be more direct - "Actually, I prefer Mrs. Jones".

I used to tell my children they weren't taught manners to keep them a secret. But I think, milady, we are a dying breed...

Answer 10

Same here. I don't like to be called by first name by stranger.
Guess they are too eager in wanting to "break the ice" that they forget some of us have larger boundaries.

To me it is ok to be assertive.

Try this:
"Can I speak to Sue?"
"Yes, I am Mrs xx"