I want to have a child but i dont know if is the right decision, we are both 25 years old?

Question

my husband is at university, we just move to his country, i have to learn the language and get back to University( i have that clear), i want to have a baby but i dont know if now is a good idea but i dont want to have it in the middle of my studies and have stop my studies, because i have stopped it a few time before. I think is better to finish university then go out and get a great job instead of staying home with the newborn and not getting work experience for that i think is better to have it now.. but also dont know if is the right time. I dont know I'm very confused can anyone help me a bit....

Answer 1

These days 25 is young, you do not have to rush to have a baby.

What I tell people is that if you have any doubts at all about whether or not now is the time to have a child, don't do it. I have 3 kids and I love being a mom, but it is hard work, requires a lot of compromise, and there are many good reasons to wait until you are ready.

You have listed quite a few good reasons to wait and if you do, you'll be in a better position to be the kind of parents you both want to be (if you didn't want to be good parents, you wouldn't be asking this question).

So wait until you're both out of school and your careers are established. You'll be a happier mother and your baby will benefit from that.

Incidentally you said something else that is really important and a lot of women don't think about - you need to get some work experience yourself before you make a choice to stay home and be a mom (if, you want to be a stay at home mom..many moms want to work). Divorce rates are too high and there is no guarantee your husband will always be there (he could also have an accident leaving you alone).

It is important that you be able to support yourself and your children IF something happens and you are the only one that can make the money. Otherwise you could end up struggling or in poverty. Get that education and experience first. It will offer you some protection in the future.

You are still young and could easily wait another 5 or 10 years if you want to.

Good luck.

Answer 2

you do sound like you have a lot to think about. by not rushing and having a baby even though you would like to ,shows that you take the responsiblity of being a parent seriously.to me this indicates that you would cope well if you had to deal with parenthood and studying or working. you need to decide whether you want to be a stay at home mom, or whether you are willing to have the child in daycare. look into the possibilty of studying from home,in which case you can maybe balance the 2 while finishing your studies.not easy .
i had both my kids before i was 25, i am now 35 and still young enough to go back into a work enviroment., after making sure that i spent the important years with them.these are also important now, but they are in school for a large part of the day,so i feel ok about working again.

if you studied and worked for a while ,you may find that you don't feel ready to leave the job market,especially if you are building your career up. you also need to think about how you feel about having children later.

if having the baby now, you can maybe try and plan it ,so that it will be born at the end of the educational year,preferably a month after your final exams-just in case it comes early.

most importantly you need to know if you can afford a baby now, if you are both at uni.what ever you do, do not keep putting off your studies, as you will resent this later.

Answer 3

If you are not ready for a child to stop you getting 'a great job' then you are not ready for a child. Children take a lot of time energy and love. As women we keep getting told that we can have it all children. job ect unfortunately we can but the children suffer no matter how good the child care. Talk to your husband if you both want great careers then maybe children arent for you if one of you is prepared to stay at home and nurture the children then go for it but you cant have everything in this life.

Answer 4

I thin you answered your own question with "I think is better to finish university then go out and get a great job instead of staying home with the newborn." If that's how you really feel then you've made up your mind it seems.

Answer 5

There is never a "right" or "wrong" time to have a baby, people will always find reasons for and against. If I was you, I think I would finish uni first, then afterwards try for a baby, lots of jobs nowadays allow you to work part-time or flexi-hours, so you can work around the baby. Good luck on whatever choice you make.

Answer 6

a newborn is a huge duty, and is extra paintings than every person will ever think of till you're into it. many women keep their toddlers, and function lives that alter lots ( many circumstances for the worst). Your boyfriend would possibly no longer stay with you.... this may be a deal breaker... and a life changer for the two certainly one of you. If he is going, you strengthen into an unwed single mom with extensive well-known jobs. he will discover ways to pay newborn help for the subsequent 18 years, which adjustments his life for the worst too, IF he will pay you in any respect. it rather is quite high priced to strengthen a newborn. Unplanned pregnancies frequently ruin 3 lives.... the mother's, the daddy's, and the newborn's. Why?? with the aid of hardships which you will stumble upon, and the resentment you will sense in the direction of the daddy and the newborn. I see single mothers on a daily basis who've a infant on their hip, and don't have the money to help a newborn, they yell on the youngster, feed the youngster terrible processed meals, take no pastime interior the youngster's well-being, and surely keep the courts and jails comprehensive with the aid of fact an indignant newborn is one that gets into difficulty later on. confident, there are thoughts approximately some mothers that circulate precise, however nearly all of them walk precise right into a life-time of difficulty and soreness. Are you waiting for this?? except you're rather waiting to do in spite of it takes to help this newborn on my own with none further money or very own help, i could propose which you think approximately the furnish. Doing issues in a planned and proper way paintings out extra appropriate.... meaning getting married, after which jointly making plans for a newborn, and having or no longer it rather is a happy experience. i ought to be previous college in my thinking, yet this time, previous college is know-how.

Answer 7

I would advice you to learn the language and finish your studies first. You still have 10 years in which it is perfectly safe to have a child and you want to make sure that you have enough money to support the kid. If you husband is still in school, and you have to be on bed rest, how will you find money for bills and food.
Also, if he has to go away, and the kids gets sick, how will you explain that to the doctor, if you do not speak the language.
Wait a couple of years, then go for it.

Answer 8

You've already answer your question and is better u finish in study and focus on it istead of thinking about baby now. Let your education be the first and baby second when u finish school u can have baby anytime u feel like without no disturbing and don't feel bad for yourself baby are tresure from God, if u want them u have to creat time for them and more attention.

Answer 9

I would definitely say it is better for you and your partner to finish your University Studies first and have yourselves a good settled home environment before bringing a child into the world. Also if you are both working and have a nice home then the child will benefit from this as you will both have the financial capabilities to provide everything you want for your baby..................Hope this helps you both

Answer 10

They have discovered this new technique where they can take your eggs at the height of their quality( in your case, now) and freeze them until you are ready to become pregnant.
This is a great idea unless something were to happen to the place where they are being stored. Or some perverted human decide, for the hell of it, to give A's eggs to B. Forget it, go natural but wait 'til you are ready. A baby deserves to be FIRST in the scheme of things.