2 Jews, Al & Sid were in a restaurant in Mexico. Al asks Sid, "are there any mexican jews ? I'm going to ask the waiter". The waiter comes to serve them and Al asks him "are there any mexican jews. The waiter says, I be right back and he went into the kitchen. The waiter returns and says "sorry Senor no mexican jews. They look at each other with disbelief and says to the waiter, are you sure there are no mexican jews, we're all over the world. The waiter says let me check again. He comes back and says to them sorry Senor there are no mexican jews, we have orange jews, grape jews and apple jews.
2006-09-09 01:52:23 · 23 answers · asked by lady love 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
oh my god i cannot no more laughing
2006-09-09 01:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by cute sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make women happy - Demerit Point System explained
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed ....................+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
* You leave the toilet seat up.............-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
* in the snow...............+8
* but return with beer..........-5
* and no liners....................-25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night....... 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
* You pummel it with a six iron...........+10
* It's her cat.........................-40
HER BIRTHDAY
* You take her out to dinner................ 0
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
* Okay, it is a sports bar..........-2
* And it's all-you-can-eat night....-3
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team......-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
* Go with a pal.........................+5
* The pal is happily married............+4
* Or frighteningly single...............-7
* And he drives a Ferrari...............-10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
* You take her to a movie...............+2
* You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
* You take her to a movie you hate......+6
* You take her to a movie you like......-2
* It's called Death Cop 3...............-3
* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable pot belly.............-15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...............................+10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30
* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."......-800
THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)
* She asks, "Do I look fat?"
* You hesitate in responding.....-10
* You reply, "Where?"............-35
* Any other response.............-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned _expression...... 0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes....................+5
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..................................+100
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep....-200
2006-09-09 10:19:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. This is a great joke. LOL.
I enjoy the ones you post. Thank you for all the laughs.
Have a great Sunday.
2006-09-10 11:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Joke.
2006-09-09 09:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw that one comming
2006-09-09 08:54:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
really nice i apperciate this is one of the few jokes which i have not come across
2006-09-09 10:25:27 · answer #6 · answered by stone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was good!can u send me more jokes at beachesluvmealot@yahoo.com?
2006-09-09 09:32:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb oooooooooooooooooooooooooo rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee dddddddddddddddddddddddddd
2006-09-09 09:23:30 · answer #8 · answered by Metal Head 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love it.
2006-09-09 08:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by cam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good joke hahahaha
2006-09-09 08:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by aakanksha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats funny!
2006-09-09 10:41:07 · answer #11 · answered by NASCAR fan 8_17_20_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋