I enjoy spending time with friends of both sexes, but I'm very asexual, I have no desire to get 'serious' with anyone. My problem is, I'm very pretty and just almost every guy friend I make ends up wanting a relationship. And then I feel bad because I feel like I've misled them or something. I'm comfortable with my sexuality, but asexuality isn't exactly well-known, and it can be awkward explaining it. When and how should I tell guys I'm friends with, so they won't go getting their hopes up?
2006-09-09 01:37:11 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell them. I had a girlfriend in highschool and I didn't tell her I was gay and it was a big mistake.
2006-09-09 01:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by Caribbean Blue 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As you know, asexuality is not typical. Many things can produce it especially a hormonal imbalance.
My exgirlfriend was not opposed to sex as much as it was meaningless to her, almost her entire life. She had two children by previous marriage, but only to have children, not because it was immensly enjoyable. It wasn't until we were about 6 months into the relationship until I finally started to ask questions. It really shot down my self-esteem. I had always been able to satisfy before, and just couldn't figure out the problem until we discussed it. So personally, I think you need to be upfront from the beginning. Some guys can accept it and some can't. Otherwise, the hurt they go through will truly not be fair to them.
2006-09-09 08:48:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asexuality means you are not interested in or have an extremely low sex drive for either males or females. That's fine if you are going into the nunnery or priesthood or marrying one of the many young, handsome leading men in the movies. (Hey, I'm just suggesting that these guys believe they are prettier than any of the femmes). I believe the condition is brought about by some trauma - doesn't have to be sex related - one suffers early in life - first five years or so. This begs treatment and upon success you would have a choice of roles. I say get a complete physical and referral for psych eval focussing on this issue. Common sense. Nothing to lose.
2006-09-09 08:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Tell them the truth and if they are real friends they will understand that you don't want a relationship right now. After you tell them the ways you feel if they don't want to be friends then they just wanted to be your friend to get in your pants or in bed with you. Girls can be like that too but not as much as guys. So just be honest with your friends on how you feel and one day you will find a guy that you like and that.
2006-09-09 08:51:34 · answer #4 · answered by yoda_0072002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asexual, you can still be serious with someone. You just aren't interested in sex. There are married couples who are asexual. You just need to let them know when they start showing interest that you are not up for a realtionship right now.
2006-09-09 08:47:17 · answer #5 · answered by Amber D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I happen to think this is one of the best questions I've seen on here, and first let me a say that you are correct for your asexual position, before you're married.
You need to understand that most young men today are selfish and unprincipled for the most part, although it might not be all their fault, thanks to the effects of liberalism on our culture. They, along with other girls, for that matter might regard you as weird. But never mind, be firm in what you know.
My answer to your question would be tell them right after you accept the date. You just about have to, considering the state of our present society. Don't doubt yourself and don't worry about clueless friends.
I also tend to disagree with poetgrl above. We all know what goes on during dates and you're wiser for addressing it beforehand than waiting for it to occur.
2006-09-09 08:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if they get their hopes up it's there problem. As long as you don't do anything to indicate that they have a chance, and as long as your honest all along that you don't want a realationship.
You don't have to tell them that your "asexual" that's none of their business.
2006-09-09 08:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If this is a repeated problem, you should try to come up woth a way to work it in right off the bat--some kind of thing you could always say to whomever--that's a tough situation, but if you don't tell them right up front, you are dooming all of your friendships rihgt from that start, it seems...
2006-09-09 08:41:20 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Asexual is a BS line made up by some goof ball that went to school too long ,so he can tell people what he thinks is wrong with them.Relax and make friends,if you aren't interested tell them.Eventually if you open up and stop convincing yourself that you don't want a man, you will find a nice guy and that interest will take over.Quit reading all the woman's magazines with the BS telling you how to feel and just be you.The right man will come along and make you happy if you let him.
2006-09-09 08:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by Tom S 6 · 0⤊ 5⤋
anytime when u r cool abt bein asexual. there is nothin wrong w u. if u dun mind ppl askin n talkin abt u, den u can jolly tell them.
gd luck n take care!
2006-09-09 08:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by anna 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell them you are not interested in sex and would just rather be friends with them.
There is nothing wrong with not being interested. However misleading someone isn't right in my opinion
2006-09-09 08:41:17 · answer #11 · answered by baby_thumper_girl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋