I have been having insecurity issue because I think the way my man associate with some women seems secretive. We live together for years and he got another girl preg last year. He begged me to stay it was just a one nighter and will never happen again. I love him enough to work though it but, heres the problem...He is lying! It was not a one nighter he was having a relationship behind my back and since he cant come clean entirely my heart cannot settle back this. Now I am suspious of every woman. I cant stop questioning him. He told me if I cant trust him I should be wise enough to take descision and leave. If I leave...that means I start over with nothing...and he gets the benefits of all that we have worked for. Am I wrong to feel he should love me enough to deal with the accussations and work to get my trust back. I love him enough to forgive. I'm feeling I can be loved deeper than this.
2006-09-09 00:34:46 · 15 answers · asked by wannakno 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Start over girl.. There no TRUST there. You might love him to keep him. But the trust is gone. There's other ***** in the sea of love. Just better to leave him now before he leaves you.
2006-09-09 00:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by James H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your security issues are valid.. He is not to be trusted.. and if you can't trust him you shouldn't be together. and from what you are saying he don't care.. he pretty much told you so in the line where you said. he told me If you can't trust him you should be wise enough to take desicion to leave.
Material possesions is no reason to stay with this guy.. Take what is yours and get out of this relationship.. yes it means starting all over again but it is better than having someone that is cheating on you and may bring home aids or something worse to you..
If this man really care for you he wouldn't have been with someone else to begin with and once you have lost your trust for him which you have suspecting other women now.. you won't be able to get it back.. I don't know how you could forgive him for such a thing when he continues to lie to you. forget about your material possessions and get away from him and find a guy that can love you back in the way that you deserve to be loved.
You may love him enough to forgive but you won't forget.
start new, and just be happy.. get on with your life. good luck in what ever you do..
2006-09-09 07:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a little confused. You've lived with him for years? He got another girl pregnant on a one nighter? And now you find out that he's actually having a full blown AFFAIR and not the one night stand? I'd be insecure at that point too, but I'd also be single!
Deary, take the hint for cryin' out loud! Leave the bastard or be prepared to spend the rest of your life fighting with this ******!
If you aren't married, he can't take a dam thing legally. It belongs to both of you and you can take what you brought into the house or what you bought for it. He can't stop you and don't let him convince you that he can. (Physically, he might be able to stop you, legally, he can't).
If, for some reason, you still love this azzwipe and can't leave him, you best be prepared to suffer for the rest of your life.
2006-09-09 07:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be loved deeper than this and not only that but, you deserve it. He has lied to you, broken your trust and has gotten another girl pregnant. How much more are you going to take? Please do yourself a favor, get out of this relationship immediately! Even if it means losing some of the things that you have worked for. If you stay, it will only lead to further heartache in the future. Once someone has shown that they can cheat, they will always cheat especially if he knows that you are willing to forgive him. You deserve someone who make you feel special and appreciated. He obviously doesn't deserve you. I know it will be hard to walk away but, sometimes we really have to. Good luck!
2006-09-09 07:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by cee cee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you leave you start off with everything, honey. Self-respect, independence, strength of character. You'll be a winner. You will never allow yourself to be used like that again.
Right now you have nothing with this man!
Of course it won't be easy and it will be painful, initially.
You can delude yourself that you can forgive him but will you be able to trust him again? Why should you? Why let him treat you like a doormat?
He's already made it clear that if you don't like it you can leave.
Why would you waste another moment with a jerk like this?
2006-09-09 07:46:56 · answer #5 · answered by Angela 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you've got yourself in quite a pickle. Honey, if you love yourself more than you love him you should remove the stress (him) from your life and determine your true feelings. Stay single for a while and forget about him.. Start dating when you feel ready and see if you find your dream guy around the next corner. Shouldn't put up with it. :P
2006-09-09 07:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by Brian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would he keep everything? It sounds like you have a common law marriage. If you ever leave, I would file for a divorce. If he can't come clean with you, you may never be able to get over it. I would seek a counselor if I were you, for you at least, if not both of you.
2006-09-09 07:42:47 · answer #7 · answered by KIMBO 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No wonder you are feeling insecure.
I would dump him quickly and get out of there (run very fast), you do deserve to be loved by a real man.
Why do you take this abuse he is basically telling you to leave, I think your very low in self esteem and why can't you take care of yourself (YOU DON'T NEED A BF) especially one that treats you like a doormat.
Be a real woman and find a real man.
2006-09-09 07:40:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave this destructive person. Start over even if it means starting over from scratch. You will be so much happier if you have peace of mind. Relationships aren't supposed to hurt so much.
2006-09-09 07:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by movedtoMA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi ..... I deeply understand how u feel...... am experiencing similar situation...... Y Men loVe to lie and cheat behind our back???? its kinda of thrilling? Ha...... Am tired.... can i really trust him again?
Yup staying single for almost half a yr.... meeting new friends... but still the feelings are diff...... rite nw we are back together... but i feel tried...... afraid that he will meet other gals after meeting me... etc..... make myself tired.. not enough sleep....... he said he will change... how am i able to believe... how am i going to get over.....
2006-09-09 07:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by huRts^SuCks 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋