The best joke posted will get 10 points! =)
2006-09-08 22:49:05 · 10 answers · asked by carbon dioxide 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Boy: Will u punish me for something i didnt do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Boy: Good coz i didnt do my homework.
2006-09-09 01:13:28 · answer #1 · answered by Haider Ayub 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"
2006-09-09 07:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by sweetness wid mi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax and proceed to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asks the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replies.
The man continues, "Do you know what these are used for?"
"Not exactly," the boy says. "But they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now he can't do either one
2006-09-09 08:40:12 · answer #3 · answered by babyblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach.
As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have
boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.
She tells her son, "The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is." The boy,
pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his
mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
She replies, "The bigger THEY are, the dumber the man is." Again satisfied
with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play.
Shortly thereafter, the boy returns again, and promptly tells his mother:
"Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks,
the dumber he gets."
2006-09-09 08:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once upon a time there was a farmer, and he had an old rooster. one day he thought " i really need a young rooster. this one is too old." so he went and bought a rooster. when the rooster got to the farm, the old rooster went up to him and said "hey, who the hell are you?" the young rooster said "i ve come to replace you, because you re too old." the old rooster said "thats not fair. here let me suggest something. lets race to that barn over there, and the winner gets to stay, and the loser has to go away from this farm." the young rooster said "sure, i could beat you any day." the old rooster said "but youre going to have to give me a 2 feet headstart." the younger sizes him up and says "ok." and so the old rooster said " on youre marks...get set...GO!!" and off they ran. but right after they start running, BANG!! and the young rooster fell down, dead. the farmer came out with his shotgun and said "Damn, thats the fifth gay rooster i bought!"
2006-09-09 06:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by mookie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a man went to the doctor coughing and said " Doc, I feel so sick I need some medicine." Doctor said "Ok, hop up on the table and let me give a check up." The man did and after the doctor gave him the check up he stated " You just have a bad cold, here's some perscription for your heart" The man ask " why do I need these for? I just got a bad cold" Doc said " Wait till you see my bill"
2006-09-09 07:41:03 · answer #6 · answered by jwings19 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two old men were walking through wal-mart when they accidentally ran into each other with their buggies. "Oh..I'm sorry" said the first man, " I am looking for my wife and I must have been distracted". "What a coincidence!" said the second man, " I am looking for my wife too" The first man replied " What does your wife look like I can help you look for her". The second man then said, "Well, she is 23, has long blonde hair, great legs, and she is wearing a really short mini-skirt...What does your wife look like?" The first man then said..."Doesn't matter, let's just look for your wife!!"
2006-09-09 08:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by Beth 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Patient to a doctor,
Patient- I feel like a bridge.
Doctor-What's gone over u?
Patient-2buses,3bikes& a several cars.
Patient-I feel like a pack of cards.
Doctor-I'll deal with u later.
Patient-I have 59 seconds to live.
Doctor-Wait a minute,will ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-09 07:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by $IDH@NT 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
2006-09-09 06:31:16 · answer #9 · answered by Patrick R 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why can't gipsy's run. Cause their got crystal balls!
2006-09-09 07:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by huge.shadow 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋