Ladies: Is superiority complex a big turn-on?

Question

Do you prefer dudes with loads of superiority complex? The days are passe when people were taught to be humble. Of course no one wants to be with a humble wimp.

Answer 1

Hi Maddy, I find those with a superiority complex extreamly unattractive and about as sexy as a cat in heat. Those who take birth gifts and then use them as self credit and self promotion is distastefull and dishonest. There are those who believe simple birth gifts give them superiority over others, makes them "special". This attititude in the tean years can perhaps be over looked as it is the parents and other family members who have petted and praised them for something not of their own creation which makes them feel so much better than others. However, as we grow older, attain adulthood, we should be able to begin distinguishing between that which we were born with and that which we attain by our own hard work and efforts. Those who take those exceedingly high intellect, or looks and build upon them, use them as a tool for additional acheivements do have reason for pride of accomplishment. However, there is an unattractive quality to those who need to rub others noses in those achievements. Far from a sign of competence and confidence it shows an inate lack of self esteem, this need to show others how "superior" they are. Those who acheive can have well deserved confidence in their abilities and acheivements. However, it is those who have acheived and understand there is so much more to acheive, that regardless of how much talent he has, how many acheivements made, that there is always more to learn, always higher levels of growth to work towards, always areas which can be improved, who knows others were not as fortunate in birth gifts, or financial status as a child, but who are all striving as hard to acheive on lower levels of the ladder of development and who have just as strong a right to have self pride for those accomplishments regardless of the level they may be on, and does not look down on anybody that is by far the most attractive men. Women as well Maddy.

Do you not find those who were born with a talent and take credit for that talent to be exceedingly arrogant? To take credit for something they had no hand in creating? Then to turn around and look down on those less fortunate in life? Those who were born into money, had no hand in compiling said money, yet have an aura of superiority and entittlement? Perhaps those who have built upon those birth gifts have reason for a sense of accomplishment and pride. Yet, do you find a woman who has done so yet looks down on those less fortunate, yet have worked just as hard to suceed in their levels, attractive? I would hope not. I do not find anyone who does this attractive. It is arrogant, misguided, unwise, and belittling to others. Now, I do find men who are successful attractive. I find men who are confident attractive. I find men who are strong and capable leaders attractive. However, only those who lead with the understanding they are actually serving others in doing so. That with great gifts comes great responsibility. Those who understand they too are on a ladder of growth, who strive to attain wisdom and understanding of the world around them, rather than close it in by crowing of accomplishements. I find men who work towards an understanding of the concepts of life, of stife, deprivention, how poverty restricts, beats down, and otherwise detracts from ones abilities to build upon birth gifts. To appreciate that which has placed him in a position to acheive. The men I find most attractive are those who have build upon birth gifts successfully with little or no assistance from outside benifits like financial standing of the family or family connections to pave the way. These men have built something by theier own sweat and hard work, and have good reason for pride and confidence. However, they understand they had something to work with others did not a higher level of intellect, and somtimes just plain good luck of being in the right place at the right time. This man understands where he came from, who he is, what he is capable of, and what he still has to learn and how much growth is still waiting. This man is dignified, strong, and capable, has no need to look down on others, and in fact has a capasity of compassion for those less competent.

Now, this is a perfect man in a perfect world. However, I find those who strive towards this goal the most attractive, those who are truly understanding of what it is to be human, fallable, and does not need to look down on others to feel good about himself. There is a huge difference between arrogance and confidence. There is a huge difference between snobbery and self worth, proper pride, self confidence tempered with humility. This humility comes from an understanding that life is a journey of learning and growth, that we each are on our own seperate journey and each has our own gifts, hardships, strife, struggles, and triumpths. Truimpths come in all shapes and sizes. A person who was born with retardation can take great pride in learning to tie his shoes, or one with border line retardation can take great pride in learning to drive a car when all told him he would be incapable of doing so. A man who is a true leader understands the capabilities, and opportunities those around him have available to work with and encourages that person to strive to be the best possible within the framework s/he was born with, to work hard to be break past what s/he thought possible. To do so one can not look down on those of lessor abilities and gifts. To be superior, to behave as a snob, detracts from all he is truly capable of becoming. It is a bit like being damned. Held back by his/her own snobbery, conceit, and feeling of superiority.

We must all remember that the average intelligence is 100 on the standard IQ Test. This means the majority of individuals around us has an intelligence level any where from 80 to 120. We also must remember the most crucial component which affects our abilities to maximize our intelligence to its fullest extent, and this is our Emotional IQ. The higher our emotional IQ the better we can utilize our Intelligence IQ. Those who need to look down on others, who feel a need to have a reason for a feeling of superiority, has a low Emotional IQ and thus minimizes his/her ability to maximize IQ. This damages the person and comes out in unattractive manners, such as snobbery and the need to feel superior.

Now Maddy, I am not saying an individual should not feel self pride in accomplishments. I am only stating that those who need to take those accomplishments and use them to feel superior to others is sadly lacking in wisdom and is unattractive in extreame. I am also stating that those who take birth gifts, such as intellect, extreame good looks, coupled with family socio-economical status as a self accomplishment looks foolish and sadly is damning his/her abilities to achieve on their own. A man who has acheived much in life in the way of success, and for me success can be weighed in many ways other than economical; who has confidence, pride, with no need to be an arrogant snob who looks down on others is very attractive and really turns me on. A confident man who knows his worth, yet has understanding of how much more he can grow, who is a good leader working for those he leads, is of high attraction for me. I speak for many other women of my aquantance as well.

If it seems I repeated myself a few times here, I only mean to look at this issue in different lights, to demonstrate how we often mistake what is gifted at birth as something we have a right to take self pride in and how this can create a snobbery and arrogance which is unattractive as well as misguided.

Women talk of these issues and we often discribe what we find attractive in men and what we find unattractive. This is a great question and it looks into a human at a deeper level than the outside package. We need to take that look inside before we commit ourselves to a long term relationship. As I have said in other answers, women tend to rush into relationships in a rather heart first manner which often leads to disillusion, unhappiness and ultimently divorce. We must take the time to look deeper into an individual before we commit our lives to that person. After all, marriage is an entity which has a life essense of its own, and unless both are capable of nurturing it, it will fade and die. The first step is knowing who we are and knowing what we truly want in a long term relationship. This jumping in before looking has shown to be disasterous. Women and men need to take a step back and pause before the leap. Take the time to find out what is inside that individual we find so attractive in the beginning. To learn what a marriage is, how it works, and then take the steps to nurture it and allow it to grow into what it can become. Which, Maddy, is something very beautifull, enduring, and fullilling.

Sorry about going on like I have. I tend to be a bit long winded at times. :-) I have been acused of being overly philisophical as well, but that is Ok with me. I do know who I am and know my weaknesses as well as my streangths. I have much to learn in this life, with seemingly little time to accomplish all I would like. I also think we are not meant to learn all, but to ever strive for more. I like discussing things, perhaps I will ask a question and find out where you stand on issues such as this.

Have a great day! :-)

Answer 2

It is a big turn off - arrogance. What makes a man sexy is confidence while being humble -- not knowing how much they have to offer, how good looking they really are, etc. That is the best - that is what is a turn on.

Most of the time, men who have this superiority complex are the ones who feel inferior, lack something and have no self-confidence. The more they talk about it and try to prove something to everyone, the less they believe it inside. A man who "has it all" together does not need to brag or prove it - he is just content with knowing it for himself and knowing that any woman in his life will know the same - He does not have to advertise.

Answer 3

A hot guy with a superiority complex is never attractive to me. Confidence and superiority are two different things. A person can be humble, but still be confident. Humbleness is not a sign of weakness, but a realization that you are not God's gift to the world. I have always been attracted to humble guys, those who don't seem to realize that they are as good as they are, but just try to do the best that they can with the gifts they've been given.

Melissa - Admin
http://www.iConfessional.com

Answer 4

Um... superiority complex? As in, I'm the greatest around look at me? No. Even if they're cute and smart and funny as anything - they're out. Don't even look hot to me anymore. Decent, humble confidence is good, though.

Answer 5

Humble in my book, doesnt mean wimp. Superiority in my book is definitely not a turn on.

Answer 6

I don't like arrogant a@#holes. Modesty can be a great quality in a guy as long as he isn't making like Uriah Heep.By the way, the guys who think they know everything(and can say it better, do it better, screw it better, etc.) can go to H-E-double hockeysticks for all I care.

Answer 7

I wish my husband was more humble. It's so much more respectable.

Answer 8

Confidence is a big turn on......very sexy! Arrogance is a major turn off.

Answer 9

no one likes them

Answer 10

dumb women like this, those with a brain aren't interested...you choose