my friend is into BDSM....and she told me that she fantazies about being raped by somone that she knows....she said that to her...being raped is being desired so much that the person cant contain themselves and that is how much they want her, and they dont care about what happens to him he just has to have her....she doesnt think guys want her...so her being raped is being desired...what do you guys think about this?
2006-09-08 20:17:45 · 24 answers · asked by a.john89 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Believe it or not the rape fantasy is pretty common. It is typically on women who grow up in a very strict environment where sex is for reproduction and not pleasure. The rape fantasy is mainly about not being responsable, if it is against her will it isn't wrong to enjoy.
Now the problem with the rape fantasy is that actual rape is a very tramatic experience. If a woman gets obsesive about it she could put herself in a bad situation and one she might not be able to get out of. If your friend is heavily into it she might be hard to disway, but you might want to mention that this really isn't the most healthy course she can be on.
2006-09-08 20:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by JFra472449 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Her concept of rape is a bit off, and she sounds like she has some other issues. But let's be honest.....most woman have had some fantasy about rape. It has to do with feeling vulnerable, being submissive, and experiencing aggressive sex where a man has control over us. Most fantasies also turn at some point where the woman also enjoys it. Does that mean woman really desire to be raped.....of course not! How do I know....because I'm a woman and I've had that fantasy.
2006-09-08 20:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by wendy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rape is not about that - it is sexual violence and is more about hatred of the self and others than anything else; than any other emotion. Men rape old women - in their 80s. I am sure it is not because they want them so badly they can't contain themselves - it is a sickness.
It is a pretty common fantasy though that disturbs me though. Not a guy but wanted to answer anyway. This is why so many women are not believed and are afraid to go to trial - because some women like it and joke about it which makes all of us look bad.
I think that she needs to talk to a counselor. It sounds like she has some SERIOUS self esteem issues and needs to be validated by someone else - and in this way!? I would not be suprised if she had been molested growing up or had some other sexual abuse or any abuse in her life. Rape is not about desire - it is sick. It is violent and more about hate than anything else.
She needs help - most women would want to meet a guy then who they wouuld make love to. Not like this - not in an act of hate. And guys that would do this are probably not good guys to be dating. Normal, healthy men don't want to act out an act of hate. I mean rough sex is one thing - but this is sick.
2006-09-08 20:23:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Most girls I've dated have had this fantasy to one extent or another. It seems like harmless fun. Put into an actual situation where one might get raped by a stranger would typically invoke the normal response of being scared sh1tless and wanting to get out of the situation. As for it being someone she knows - well, she's just got the hots for him and likes having fantasies of his penis throbbing so intensely for her that he's got to tear her clothes off and take what he needs from her... up against a wall, over the couch, in the dark parkinglot against the car, or up against her own kitchen counter. Yeah, those fantasies can be pretty hot.
2006-09-08 20:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by Andy J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This girl does not seem to understand what true rape is. Rape is not about overwhelming desire - it is about causing humiliation and pain(both mental and physical), and it is about control over an unwilling and terrified victim. Her self esteem must be abysmal if she desires something like that to happen to her as proof that she's desirable. That's ridiculous, considering that it's not only attractive women who get raped. I think she could benefit from some counseling.
2006-09-08 22:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by helen g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...she wants passionate sex, the ones you see in movies were they are desired and loved by a man. She has the context of rape very wrong. Rape is a crime, when someone does not want sex but is forced to and it apparently is a life changing and threatning experience, people are traumatised. Your friend just wants some hardcore and passionate booty-bump!
Have a great day
Peace
2006-09-08 20:25:44 · answer #6 · answered by WALLABIES!!!-x 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy, but will answer this. She should be careful what she wishes for. There's nothing glamorous about getting raped, by someone you know, or by a stranger. There's nothing worse than being stripped of your dignity. It is not about them wanting you, it's about them wanting to hurt you mentally, physically, and emotionally. They want to control you. Take it from someone who knows first hand.
2006-09-08 20:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rape is not about sex, it's about power over someone. She does sound like she wants it a little rough but that's not rape when it's about sex and both parties consent. She should give up this fantasy and enjoy consensual, normal sex.
2006-09-08 20:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh my god. you cant be raped without being desired at that moment. But being desired for a next time depends on how enjoying had you been.
2006-09-08 20:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by reza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to go in a dark alley where there are weird men out there that would proudly rape her and full fill her so call fantasy.
She is sure a sicko! Get her help!
2006-09-08 20:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋