I can't do this anymore.?

Question

I started dating this guy about 3 weeks ago. This was no ordinary guy- I've been in love with him since I was 12 (I'm 20 now). I had to wait 8 years, but finally, finally, he asked me out. To say the least, I was euphoric, couldn't believe that my patience had paid off. Anyways, a week ago, we consummated our relationship, and he hasn't returned my calls since. In my defense, I've only left him 2 voicemails this week. The last time we saw each other, he said "our relationship is weird and we need to talk about it." I told him to call me to talk about it. Nada. When we started dating, he promised me that he wasn't just "using" me. I'm dealing with an incredible amount of stress right now, relating to family and work, and I just don't know how I'll be able to handle another loved one abandoning me. I'm just afraid that I'm going to hurt myself. Especially if he chooses to just never return my calls again. I just don't know how much more I can take.

Answer 1

Well you have to realize that 3 weeks is not a long time before giving it up to someone no matter how long you liked him because you weren't actually dating...And of course he was going to tell you he wasn't just using you...I mean come on, what would his chances have been if he would have said, "well, I'm just showing interest in you right now to get in your pants and then after that I am going to not call you." Do you really think you would have given it up?
No!!
You have to be smarter than that. You made a mistake. He could be busy and more than likely, he will call you eventually, but the reality is that no matter when he calls you, if it's been this long, he isn't looking for what you were hoping for.
Now you need to start making decisions about your next move without him in the picture. And don't be an idiot and start talking about hurting yourself.

Answer 2

Do not think about hurting yourself. (You might want to think about hurting him, even though you should only think about it and not do it.) The story sure sounds like he used you, but of course we are only getting the sketchy version and not all the details that let you understand better than we can. I think you need to hold on a while and let yourself get some perspective on this. It has only been a week, and your emotions are still very confused and very raw. There could be some logical although outlandish explanation for why he has not contacted you. Everyone is pretty sure their situation is unique, but when you try to remove yourself from the equation and just look at the facts, it doesn't sound good. If I wrote right now and told you I slept with a guy I have loved for ages one week ago and he said things were weird and we needed to talk and he hasn't contacted me in a week and won't return my phone messages, what would you be thinking? Okay, now then, what would you actually tell me? You know what I think? I think you are way better than this guy deserves. You sound smart and genuine and dedicated. I'm sorry you're going through so much stress right now and that this is just one more thing heaped on you. But, my take on it at this point is that the guy is not who you had always thought he was and wished for as your dream guy if he would behave in this way. I read a saying once and I always tell it to my daughters. "Don't make someone your priority if they only make you their option." Honey, you deserve to be someone's priority. Don't you ever forget it.

Answer 3

Hang in girl! I kind of just went Thur the same thing. Everywhere I turned around was drama. Put your best foot forward and stay away from candy it will make it worse. I know it hurts but it does go away. When a door closes another opens, find it. The future holds the answers, and everyday is a blessing ( that's why it's called the present). Don't lose your self it's not worth. Mentor a child, find hope for the future.

Answer 4

The best way to avoid being hurt by this guy is to hurt him first. Dump him so that it is obvious you won't take his crap. I had a crush on this guy since second grade and finally got the nerver to ask him out sophomore year. He said "Take a number." The next time we met it was six years later. We had both matured and were inseperable. He refused to consumate anything but I was persistant. We were togetherfor a year and 3 months before I dumped him. Six months later we got back together and a year after that we were married. Our first anniversary is in 2 weeks.

Answer 5

You must go on communicating with him! You must find out why he is acting this way. But when you communicate with him, you must not be sad or accusing, but adopt an interested attitude of understanding him. Be friendly and interested. You must never hurt yourself as that won't do you or anyone else any good. You could try meditating or praying - that works for me. Do deep breathing exercises to get more oxygen into your system and bring back a balance. Focus on something else that is positive in your life in order to get your perspective back. Good luck!

Answer 6

8 years is a long time to like someone, and when they finally say they like you back, you're probably willing to do anything for them. So it's not your fault, but sounds like he took advantage of your feelings. And if he did, he's not worth your time. Take it as a lesson learned and be strong, and move on. It's horrible, but you;ll be alright. Hang in there.

And whatever you do, don't hurt yourself over him. You're too good for him.

Answer 7

Sorry, but he got what he wanted....so why should he stick around? He probably knew how you felt all those years and thought he would give you a tumble....

Answer 8

I'm so sorry to hear that. Just remember that guys are dumb sometimes. Be true to yourself and be safe.

Answer 9

Men will say anything to get in your panties!