My husband of 13 years is a Vetenam Veteran and Alocholic. He has been to numerous rehabs, and prison twice for DWI's. The delimia were in is very serious to use. Let me try and get things organized here, okay, he has not driven while drinking in 4 years, he has not stopped drinking, and when he drinks he becomes, loud, verbally abusive, and threatening, along with this he experiences flashbacks with some of the episodes of being intoxicated. On June 28th, of this year he was drinking, and become loud, flipped off the neighbor for no reason, cussed me and cussed me, I ignore him for the most part, however on this particular day things esculated and I told him I would call the police if he didn't calm down. He didn't and I did call the police. They failed assault of a peace officer, family violence, assault with deadly when, which was his feet kicking after being sprayed with pepper spray. The District Attorney is seeking 2 to 20 years, and I think prison time is totally unjust.
2006-09-08 17:49:14 · 11 answers · asked by Strawberry Pony 5 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
He dont need prison he needs counseling. People who been in the wars and had to deal with that sometimes often have mental issues and to try to hide the pain and the memories they try to drink but it dont work so they dink some more. Things get out of control until they hit rock bottom and someone offers them some help.
Suggest get gets some counselings to deal with things instead of prison. Prison is NOT going to do anything for him but make his condition worse off then it is now.
What ever happened to "If you cant afford a attorney,one will be appointed to you"? If he gets sentenced to prison file for appeals and file for a sentencing hearing. I wasn't aware that if you get bonded out you dont qualify for an court appointed attorney. Where do you live?
2006-09-08 17:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by deadly_rose_04 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Pardon me, but are you nuts? You've been putting up with his crap for 13 years and you think that prison time is unjust? After he's already been to prison twice for alcohol related offenses? ADW on a police officer is a VERY serious charge; what is your basis for calling prison time unjust??
You are what we call an "enabler". You encourage his continued bad behaviour by sticking around and making excuses for him. Then you compounded the problem by bailing him out. If that cut you out for a court-appointed attorney, well, you've made that bed now sleep in it!
With a little bit of luck he might get some treatment in prison. You need counselling as well -- probably quite a bit. I wish you luck, but without extensive treatment this cycle is going to continue to spiral downwards until someone dies. Statistically -- and sadly -- that will probably be you. Most likely at his hand.
The smartest thing you did that day was call the police. The dumbest thing you did in 13 years was to bail him out. There's nothing that anyone here can do to help you.
2006-09-08 19:10:38 · answer #2 · answered by Bostonian In MO 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that you bailed him out and I wonder why. If he was frightening you to the point that you called the police to begin with then the best thing for both of you would have been to let him in jail. For one thing, if he had stayed in jail any time served would have been credited on whatever sentence he gets. He still has to be given an attorney if he can't afford one as far as I know. Talk to the public defender's office. He definitely needs alcohol rehab and counseling for his post traumatic stress from Viet Nam. Has he been to the V.A. for any treatment? You should call and talk to them about what's available for him. He must have given the police a really hard time for them to have to use pepper spray to subdue him. They were only doing their job. And it's not a good thing when someone calls the police and then turns around and bails the person out a few hours later. Prison time might be the best thing for him because he'll get referred for treatment from there or depending what prison he's in will have treatment there. Unless he has a long criminal record I doubt he'll get anywhere near 20 years to do, but prison is very likely if he assaulted the police officers.
2006-09-08 18:14:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How did you think he was going to act when the police arrived? You knew he was giving you a hard time & now you calling the cops only puts more people in danger. If you were that scared or bothered enought to call the police then just let them do their jobs. He''l be sure to get what he deserves. Then maybe this will help him to appreciate you and all that you have together. Sometimes people need a rude awakening to change their bad ways. Let justice prevail stop making excuses for him & don't save him this time. Let him reach rock bottom so he can start working his way back up again.
Sounds to me you've had a hard last couple of years. I wish you well!!
2006-09-08 17:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by paintressa 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Call your nearest VA medical center and ask to speak to a social worker, they can get him into an alcohol rehab program. Or a psych ward .This will help him when he goes to court. It will show that he is trying to get help.
You ARE his enabler but having been raised as the child of an alcoholic Korean War veteran I can feel for you. Instead of enabling him ,learn to advocate for him. Do not take "no" for an answer from the VA. If you want to chat email me directly.
Good luck
2006-09-09 16:59:50 · answer #5 · answered by ebosgramma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen they are threatening him with a lot of time, but it would not take an extremely skilled attorney to get him probabtion and alcohol counseling. Surely you can get a loan at a credit unioon or beneficial or have some friends or family who could loan you a few hundred.
2006-09-08 17:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by Ned B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really needs to get some serious treatment and from the sounds of things you really should attend al-anon meetings. When I was in treatment there were several Vietnam vet in there with me that had some of the very same problems. My suggestion to him would be to check himself into an Inpatient program before he goes to court. If you have any other questions feel free to email me.
2006-09-08 18:04:41 · answer #7 · answered by sexylatinguy23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone qualifies for a court appointed attorney, no matter how much or little money you have. It's your right guaranteed by the Constitution. You may get one or two charges dropped with any luck, but he will have to do some time. He'll make parole faster if he chooses to take anger management classes, which would be good for him and you.
2006-09-08 17:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by Scott B 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I just would like to point out that you are a precious life and should never be abused by your husband or the person that says he loves you.
Second, he gets what he deserves and while hes gone you should consider disappearing.
2006-09-09 01:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anne M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have left him in jail and let him get a court appointed attorney. You made that choice.
Why do you protect and stand up for someone that is abusivie, your life is better with him in jail.
2006-09-08 17:54:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋