How do I respond to a very rude email from a fellow condo ownder?

Question

A gentleman in our condo association is... unsatisfied with the parking situation. In brief, he seems to believe that the parking rules are not restrictive enough (the association recently changed so that residents could call the towing company themselves -- they were having to reimburse too many wrongful towings) and that security is not sufficient (vandalism is low even for the area and there is no budget for a security system -- the earthquake insurance mentioned below was obtained free via very recourceful bargaining.)

The below attachment has been, ah, edited for content.

How in the world do I even begin to respond to this? Thank you for your help.

_____________

What the **** is wrong with this place? I can't park, even though I've
talked to Nate SEVERAL times about it. The "New" Towing Policy is a
joke,
NEVER enforced. I parked on the lawn, just to see... Great spot
though.
There are four to six cars every night without passes, some parked next
to
the dumpster.
(cont)

Now my storage unit has been broken into, or my mountain bike grew
****ing
legs. One of the two. Nobody seems to give a flying **** around here.
You
should be debating issues that matter. A security system is too
expensive,
but we can afford a ****ing EARTHQUAKE INSURANCE POLICY?!?!?! Are you
all
out of your minds? How about dealing with issues closer to hand. Like
broken glass in the bottom parking lot, yep one of those many messes
was my
rear car window.

There are always reports of storage units getting broken into on the
bottom
levels, now the top too. #32, Building 543 mother ****ers. But no,
Earthquake insurance and paint are too important. You all just sit
there
with a thumb stuck up your ***.

Thanx for doing jack-****ing-**** around here. Look at what a
wonderful
difference you've made. We've got planter boxes now... and pretty
yellow
lines in the parking lot, for any car without a pass to enjoy. The
bull****
never seems to end.

-Justin

Err -- incase there is any question -- the condo residents are supposed to call the towing company themselves when they see parking violations.

And the earthquake insuance was free -- a security system with live monitoring would consume half the association's annual budget.

Answer 1

pinkdenial is right. You can't get upset with these type of people. It isn't worth your time. Like she said just answer all the legitimate questions that this crude person asks. Don't forget to mention the free insurance. Be strong and don't take it personally. But one thing don't let this person bully you in person. These type of people are usually to cowardly to say something like this to your face, but you never know.

Answer 2

First a suggestion for the parking problem. I am assuming you have somewhat of a budget to work with. Parking spots can be assigned easily and may solve most of this problem. Any local hardware store carries large number stencils and yellow spray paint. It doesn't cost much and can be done on the weekend by volunteers. Make each person responsible for calling in for towing on there own parking spot. The problem with the other way is that if someone gets a spot and sees another car in the lot without a pass they don't care they have a spot so why call. This is why people become angry because by the time they get home and no spots are available they now have to find other parking and then call. Now as for a response to this guy stay calm do not bring up anything he is wrong in mentioning. An example would be something along the lines of:

I am so sorry to hear you were having trouble again finding a parking spot. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. I would love to hear any suggestions you have that you think will help with the situation. I understand completely what you are talking about I had trouble finding a parking spot the other day as well(put this in even if you didn't makes it sound like your sympathizing with him). I would also love to hear any suggestions you may have regarding the problem with the storage area. Thank you for informing me of these problems we will address these concerns at our next meeting.

You also if you liked the idea may want to add the suggestion of the putting numbers on a parking space as well and ask what he thinks of it. Also if he does like the idea let him choose his spot. The next time he is angry he will think about what has already been done for him and may take it easier on you.

Answer 3

I suspect that no answer or response is your best bet on your own. This person is obviously riled up to the point they are not going to listen.

I think if forced to reply, or if in fact you are in some kind of position where it is your job to reply I would respond something like this.

I recognize that you are upset over several issues. I will try to discuss each one (and if you have an association mention that these things can be brought up at one of the meetings).

The earthquake insurance was negotiated /voted on etc.. etc..

The parking situation has been problematic for some of us. Since there were so many wrongful towing refunds that had to be addressed, it became necessary to turn over the calling of tow trucks to the individual tenants. There is currently no budget for a security system. (perhaps at a future meeting you could propose a raise in dues to accomodate such a system. reasearching the costs and benefits would make your suggestion more likely to be heard effectively.)

I realize you are angry and have had items stolen which is regretable and reprehensible. While there may be some measures as neighbors we might be able to come up with, your choice of words (all the explatives in particular) makes it improbable that you will get much cooperation from the majority of the condo owners as they are easily offended by foul language.

I think you get the drift here.. being clear, offering alternatives to sending out foul languaged tirade.. address what issues you can.. suggest avenues of approaching the problems.. and as an end note, you could say ..
We all want this to be a safe and enjoyable place to live. Working with us will get you much farther in dealing with your issues than sending out tirades etc..

Word it carefully as you do not need to become a target for this crap.. and be prepared to start calling the law on this dude if he gets further out there.. he may be in need of therapy at the least and institutionalizing,

Answer 4

I would just ignore him, but if you feel the need to respond, just remind him that the earthquake insurance was free, and that he is just as responsible as anyone else for the illegal parking. Remind him that when he sees someone parked illegally that it is his responsiblity to call the tow company. I would suggest that you completely ignore the profanity and respond to him as if he had written a polite letter.

And the next time you see him parked illegally, have his car towed.

Answer 5

First of all, this person is not a "gentleman." He sounds like an uneducated hothead. If the rules allow owners to have cars towed, then he is responsible for doing so. Why did he write this email to you? Are you the President of the association?

Answer 6

Well frankly...he made be rude and crass and lack social graces but I believe he has a valid point. He is entitled to his own parking space and it should be available to him 24/7. I agree his tone is offensive but put yourself in his position. What is with the other condo tenants that they cannot provide this for him?

Apparently they feel it's okay to do this inconsiderate act. Well they will have to put up with all they get and deserve from him. Do they really believe he will be amicable to anything if you can't give him his own parking spot?. Seems to me that he is not the problem in the first place. Where is the leadership here?

Answer 7

I would suggest to him that perhaps the parking situation is not what is really bothering him, but rather the fact that he is either impotent or can't find a woman to have sex with him since he is quite obsessed with the f-word!

Beyond that, perhaps you could suggest he park his car in a spot when it's available and then use his butt or a bike to get around, then he'll always have a spot for his car!

Answer 8

I deal with angry folks a lot at work. First, always stay calm and polite. Second, address his concerns. Why isn't the parking enforced and so many cars are allowed there without passes? Assume that he is not the only one with these concerns; he's just the one being vocal about it.

Answer 9

Tell him that you can see that he is clearly upset about these matters and that he can't be the only one affected. Tell him that you hope he will arrange to come to a condo board meeting where he can discuss these issues in more detail and that he and the whole board can try to find a solution to benefit everyone.

Answer 10

I would say to him that when he can be civil, you will consider his problems. If not, not, and when he sues show the email and your response to the judge, and retain an attorney now, if you have none.
The attorney should really write the response.
He is in the association now. My neighbor, a wet brained alcoholic, screams all day. I am starting a campaign to have him removed. We both have a**hole problems.