Should I have it?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. We are 21. We are "pre-engaged", just saving the $ for the wedding. And yesterday we found out we are pregnant. I don't like the idea of abortion, this is my first child for goodness sakes, but we are not in the position financially for a child right now...I have been stuggling with this, please help. He thinks abortion is the logical idea since we don't have the $ for the baby, my heart is getting in the way. What should we do?

just to let you all know, i actually just had a miscarraige, Dr. said it was stress related...

Answer 1

I can tell you from experience that abortion is not easy. As much as it hurts to think of ridding yourself of your 1st child, you also have to think about what is best for it and you right now in your life. It sounds to me you are in the same situation I was in when it happened and I just knew that I was not emotionally or financially ready for a child, not at all. Just remember that if you can not offer the best life you think that your child deserves and you don't like the idea of adoption, then abortion is probably the right thing for you.

Good luck to you and your boyfriend in making your decision

Answer 2

Have the baby, sometime your heart needs to rule your head. It will work out. It always do, there are a lot of resources out their to help with the baby. Women, Infants and Children is a good example, my family was used WIC for a while when my sisters were small. There is no shame in using it. I am 21 and so I bet I could guess how scary it would feel but really you already love your baby, and this is a chance for your realationship to be strengthen by a family. This is the fruit of your love for each other, you can't buy that.

Stat's show that relationships often deteriorate after and abortion. Most counselors know that couple's usually break up about 3-6 months after an abortion. It is something to consider.

Also abortions can be dangerous

Answer 3

Dont have an abortion..... I am speaking form experience. I had an abortion in Febuary of this year not long after I turned 21. My boyfriend and I discussed this matter, he thought I was not ready to become a mother and pushed meto finish college. Now that I look back on it, the actual procedure and was terrible there were 9 other girls in there, and we were shuffled in and out of rooms like cattle that were being processed. Some of the women had had more than one abortion previously, and some waited to have the abortion until they were very far along.The actuall experience for me was horrible, and to this day I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for the killing of my first child. A friend of mine became pregnant wekks before me and decided to keep the baby eventhough the father was a drug addict and a looser, she had her baby the first of June just weeks before I would have had mine and it was everything I could do to stand there and congragulate her while holding back my tears, when I got home I balled. I thought of suicide after the abortion, because what gave me the right to live a life that I denied my unborn child? I am neither pro-choice or pro-life but I speak from experiecnce, please think of the concequenes. There are far more terrible things in this world than the birth of a child. Here is a link I wish I would have seen before my abortion, and if you decide to go through with it and have an abortion dont wait do it asap because it is somewhat easier on your body and you.

Answer 4

You will never be in a financial position for a child, you just make it work.
Think very carefully on this. Remember, abortion is not a form of birth control, that baby did not ask to be here.
I waited 9 YEARS to get pregnant, please do not take this decision lightly. There are so many women who would give anything to have what you have. I remember crying each time i got my period. I wish I could show you how amazing being a mother is. I would not trade it for ANYTHING and we are BROKE to prove it. I will wear rags and live in a trailer if I have to. Walmart has really cheap diapers too.

If you have questions though talk to your doctor and get all the facts you can. What ever your decision you do not want to regret it in the years ahead remember this baby is part of YOU.

Answer 5

Don't ever let a man pressure you into getting an abortion. What would have been logical for him was to put on a condom. Abortion is not the answer and no man has any right to tell a woman to get one. Keep the baby or have it and chose adoption.

You are both adults now, and you need to start acting like it. Step up to the plate and accept your responsibilities.

Answer 6

Judging from your answer, I don't think you really want an abortion. I know this is your boyfriend's life too, but you are the one with the big choice to make. You need to decide if an abortion is something you could live with. I have been in your shoes. I was only 20 when I got pregnant, also unmarried with a good relationship. I chose to have my daughter. Times were a little tough at first, but everything worked out. She is the light of my life.
Good luck to you, follow your heart.

Answer 7

The life inside you is your baby with this man. Abortion is the murder of the the most innocent of human life. If you can't care for the baby then put him or her up for adoption. Honestly I wonder about any man that would recomend that that you destroy what was given to you as a gift. This is human life not like deciding you don't want something that you bought.

many woman that haves abortions are haunted by their decisons for the rest of their lives. Consider that this child could be the person that cures cancer,brings peace to many,or might just become an average person thankful to be alive.

God Bless- Pray about it and make the only choice-Give life don't take it!

Answer 8

Choose the baby. And besides, you sound like a very caring person who someday wants to have a child and what happens if something goes wrong and you never get the opportunity again. I had a friend in HS that had an abortion at 15 years old and I can tell you that she did have more children and she still thinks about that child she gave up and what kind of person he/she would have been and even talks about how old they would have been. God Bless You and I hope you choose your baby, cause it looks like he/she was conceived out of love.

I should have said congratulations, too, because you have a miracle living inside you.

Answer 9

I personally believe that one must have financial stability before bringing a child into the world. However, i think you should have the baby if you can use the money saved for the wedding and use it for the baby. There is nothin wrong with getting married at city council. Better to avert an abortion than have a sophisticated wedding.

Answer 10

Don;t have an abortion if you aren't okay with it. Someday you'll regret it... who wants the abortion of a love child hanging over thier head? You could give the child up for adoption if nothing else. At least you'd give the baby a chance.

You two may not have been planning for a baby, but maybe you should try to consider this a blessing. You are mature enough to consider all your options... perhaps you are mature enough to be a mother.

Good luck!

Answer 11

ABORTION is not the answer. If you think that you are not ready for a child then give him/her up for adoption. You made a life. and if your guy thinks that it is the right answer then he isn't very sensitive. You made your bed I suggest you sleep in it. I have two girls and could not imagine my life without them. I am 23 and am now expecting my third. I had to have an abortion due to medical problems and it will come back to haunt you. I wish I would have just had my baby and risked dying. You will regret it if get an abortion, and not only that but it hurts like hell. You are fully awake for the whole thing!!! It is brutal, not only for your unborn child, but for you as well. Your guy should understand if he cares at all about you.