I just feel hopeless?

Question

A family member of mine died recently. I didn't really spend a lot of time with him but when I did see him, he was always nice to me. When I first heard he died, sure I was sad, but I wasn't really crying. Today, they had a visitation at the funeral home. All at once, I just broke down crying. Since earlier today, all I've been thinking about is, "What's the point in living. You're born and then you die. Life just seems to suck." I also just keeping worrying how I'm going to deal with this whole death thing when my grandpa dies because he's getting really old and probably won't live very long. I'm very close with my grandpa, and when he dies, I'll probably cry for like a month. I'm just feeling hopeless and I just don't know what to do or think anymore. I don't want to go to the funeral tomorrow, but I know I should go to be there for my other family members. I've been to funerals before, but I was too young to realize what was happening. All I can do is cry. Please help.

Answer 1

Cry all your heart out,,, that is normal.. cry and cry,,, but then after that, you have to accept the fact that life is like that.. we cannot die all together,,, one has to go first.

I am also a grandfather's favorite... I grow up with my grandfather and grandmother... I was spoiled by them..
But when my grandfather died,, I cried but I was happy for him... because years before,, he already prepared us for his death.... And then,, my grandmother, after a few years followed him...

My grandfather died a happy man, he was smiling,,, he told his children that he is already tired and old.,and after 3 days he died at age short of a month before his 98th birthday. I was far away then

We came home for the burial...

Now,, be with your grandfather if you lovehim.....
Spend all the time with him...
You will never get a housefull and a lifetime with him..
Grandfathers are the best people in the world and that is why I am also trying to be the best grandfather I could be,,,
I now have 14 grand children and 2 are living with me..
Be happy,, go lucky with your grandparents, you cannot buy them..

Answer 2

Yes sweetie dying is a part of life . The grief we experience when a person who was close dies is awful . However you can not go through life in this state of mind . Your loved one would want you to go on and live a full , happy life . Time will help , but you should always remember the good times rather than focus on the loss . I lost my Dad and I was always Daddy's little girl , so I was thought that I would never get over it . I did and life goes on , that doesn't mean his life had no meaning . Just the opposite , he taught me to be strong . When I lost him , well that was the ultimate test of strength . Go to the funeral , maybe you will be able to help someone else . I'll say a prayer for you !

Answer 3

I've seen too many of my friends and family die for my short 26 years. It always hit me the hardest when my mind (wanting to deny the death's) physically saw them. Crying is the hardest part, of course I cried a little at first, but in every death we all need one really BIG cry. It's normal to question your life and mortality when faced with a close death. Life does go on whether we like it or not. Just live it one day at a time and one day, lord knows how far down the road, it won't hurt to think about this person. I've lost two boyfriends, a best friend, my grandfather(that hit me hard) and a few acquaintances. What helped me through each death was to remember them and honor them. I remind myself every day to live a life that would make them proud. It's a cycle in life, as ugly as it is. My heart goes to you in your grief. I hope you'll see light again soon.

Answer 4

You are perfectly normal and I am glad you can cry and go through these feelings.
My wife died in 1982 at age 30 leaving me and our son. I did not have the tools to deal with it. A Psychiatrist told me I was normal but I felt far from normal. He never told me how to deal with loss. I did not know that grieving is a process but we must go through it.
16 years after her death I went to a funeral home and joined a grief recovery group. I eventually went through the pain and let her go. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for 5 months dealing with depression that recurred for years because of wrong advice and not dealing with it. I even remarried and had three more sons but the marriage was based on sand due to the unresolved pain and ended in divorce. I am a family person and my wife had no skills in that area.
Long story short we work through these things and get stronger. My Mum died in Ireland this year and I was privileged to help my sister in nursing her until the end. Death is a part of life and there is no need to fear it, Keep up the good work

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. I am 27 years old, not sure how old you are. My grandpa died when I was 10, then my dad died when I was 18. It is very hard to deal with; especially if you've never lost anyone you were really close to before. I know it's hard to believe, but it does get a little easier as time goes on. When my grandpa died, my dad had told me in the car after he picked me up from school. I remember punching the dashboard of the car and then going home and throwing everything I could get my hands on. I cried every night for weeks. I just wanted him back. Even now, 17 years later as I type this I can feel my eyes tearing up. When my dad died, I think I went into shock. My brother was only 11, and now it was just the three of us: my brother, me, and my mom. We knew for awhile that my dad was sick, but we still weren't ready to let him go. The funeral wasn't the hardest part. It was the days after when we had to clean out his stuff and get rid of everything. But, I just kept remembering what my dad told us when he was sick; he said to make sure that we live everyday like it's our last because you never know what could happen. He told us if something made us unhappy, then to change it and try to be happy. You will always miss the people you lose, but you cannot spend everyday crying for them. That is not what they would want for you. They would want you to be happy, have fun, do good things for other people. My best advice to you is to make sure you tell the people you love that you love them. If someone does something or has done something good for you in your life, make sure you thank them. If you have wronged someone, apologize. Going to this funeral may not be something you want to do, but you should go to be there for your family and it will also give you an opportunity to get used to the atmosphere of a funeral. Unfortunately as you get older, there will be more and more that you will need to attend. Going to a funeral for the first time is very stressful. If you have a really hard time with it, talk to your parents or maybe a school counselor (if you are in school). Bereavement counseling should be available through your church as well. If you don't want to cry at the funeral, just try to think of something else. Everyone has a different way of dealing with the situation. Usually if it is an older person who has been ill for a long time, there may be alot of people smiling, even laughing during the visitation. They are sharing good memories and are thankful that their loved one had such a long life. When someone younger passes away, or if it is completely unexpected, there will be alot more crying. But, there may still be some laughing. There really is no right or wrong way to deal with the pain of losing a loved one. Some people laugh, some cry. I cry very easily; when I don't want to start crying, I do something really stupid like make my grocery list in my head or sing a song I like (in my head of course; it would probably be very wrong to get up and start singing a Muppets song at a funeral). Don't give up on life. Do something good with your life that has meaning. Help someone, work to protect our environment, take care of an animal, volunteer. Every little good thing you do with your life makes your life worth living. If you can make someone smile for just a second, or make someone else's day a little easier, then you have purpose in your life.

Answer 6

hey Cristen
funeral are no fun for any one its a hard thing to deal with because you think of the past the thing you did together the laugh you had the talk you had the meal you share at the table the strong friendship you had its really hard when you think of all of the things you share when your family member when he was with you.but you also have to realize that he is in a better place know were he feel no pain and he lives again in heaven he well always be with you in mind and soul just remember the good times you had the way he made you laugh and the times he made you mad this is how he would want you to remember him dont cry because he well always be there for you in your heart.

take care Cristen

Answer 7

This hopelessness is unfortunately part of the grieving process. Losing someone you love hurts unbearably.... I've been there. You just have to allow yourself to feel the pain, not try to numb it. Let it out, with your family, and with close friends.
Let yourself scream, cry, stomp, rage, whatever you need to do to let it out. You will probably still need to cry for a long time to come. Eventually, the pain will start to decrease, until you finally realize you can think of that person without crying. Then you can start to enjoy the good memories and stories you shared with them.
It's a process, but it will get better. Just don't do anything self-destructive during this time, and you will get through it.
Trust me, I did.
God bless you.

Answer 8

This is normal, especially the first time our mortality becomes real. Life is a wonderful thing, there is so much to experience and do. So much love to give. You are grieving and your process is normal, cry and move through the grief. On the other side, make your life one that when you do die, your loved ones know that you loved them and can say that you truly lived life. Good luck and hugs.

Answer 9

I feel for you! and I'm very sorry for your loss. I do understand the feeling of losing someone so precious. My father passed away 2 1/2 years ago and my son considered his grandfather like a father to him ( a father figure). He took it really hard and till this day he is still grieving deeply for him. His heart is broken and he cries all the time. But as time goes by the pain never goes aways you just have to learn how to cope with it. And that is what my son and my family and I are trying to do. You will always have the pain in your heart but as time goes by you will learn how to cope with it. And if you have to cry you cry and mourn as long as you want. My family still mourns very much for my precious father.

My deepest sympathy to you and your family!

Answer 10

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