Does anyone deal with anger they don't know where it comes from?

Question

I used to be a very passive person, holding my thoughts inside, and when I got angry, I would cry, and hide my anger thru my tears. Now, I am in therapy, and I am dealing with my undealt and unfelt anger, but now I have become stronger, and I feel like I am turning into a b****. I will get mad at spurt things out to my husband, and then I feel bad for hurting him. He spurts things back out to me, too, and then I feel really worse.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD and depression. I don't know where this is coming from. I was supposed to get help dealing with my anger, and handling crises effectively, in my DBT class, but now that I am stronger, I am not healthier in my mind when it comes to self respect, I am angrier. And after the angrier is revealed, I get really depressed. Anyone can help, I'd be greatly obliged...

Thank you for the advice, about giving my husband a pizza instead of hostility. I have to try that. But, some other ones said to just be nice. I cannot control my angry, it literally gives me pain in my head to be angry. And I don't know where it is coming from. Thanks for your response, it was a very sweet one.

Answer 1

I think while attending DBT class or other classes, seeing a counsellor will really help.

Yes, I am dealing with many negative feelings (not only anger) and I don't know why I feel this way. I know it can be frustrating.

But I am doing everything I can to help myself.

Try art and crafts, I found it a nice way to express or smooth my feelings. Whatever ways it works for you, doesn't need to be art and crafts.

Answer 2

You're not angry because you're gay. You're angry because you're trying to be straight. You probably loathe yourself, and take out that anger on yourself and others. The best thing you can do for yourself if get yourself a good therapist, and probably get on an antidepressant. Also, if you're sure that you want to "become straight" then you should also get involved in some kind of organization that specializes in it, most likely with some sort of religious affiliation. But honestly, you should be yourself. I'm a lesbian, and hid it and tried to be straight for almost 10 years and it drove me into a deep depression, and alcohol and drug abuse.

Answer 3

I'm not against getting mental health help, but please don't fall into the therapy groupie type. Some people pick up on every damn cue a *therapist* throws at them. If you don't get the anger in check your marriage and family will eventually fail. It is good to get in tough with your anger but blow off steam through exercise or some form of fun like swimming, etc. I know that borderline personality types love attention and will do things to get it at the cost of other's feelings. Get rid of the anger before you go home, and bring your hubby a pizza instead of hostility. Life is too short hun. Get angry if you need to.. then let it go.

Answer 4

You may be hypoglycemic. Low blood sugar can cause that behavior and can be heightened in your 20s. This lowers your tolerance for dealing with problems and holding back your anger. Just another thing you might want to check.

Answer 5

While you are getting help, which is GREAT, keep in mind that you also need to keep some of your old traits. Hold your tongue when you need to and speak out when you need to. Speaking out doesn't mean you have to be rude or arrogant.....maybe just firm. Just be a nice person but still set limits as to what you will take before expressing your views and/or wants. you can do it. Pops

Answer 6

you need vacations....
need to be pampered by your husband.....
you are not angrier, just cant hold it anymore and anything can trigger that feeling....hope you get better.....figthing with your hubby wil not help at all and can lead to worse problems...so do not got that way....

Answer 7

Have you doctor check your blood sugar and blood pressure. You could be hypoglycemic and have high blood pressure too.

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Answer 8

quit the therapy and just go nuts