How much time do really need to my kids to be a good father?

Question

I am a father of 2 boys 8 and 4, working mon-sat 8 hrs a day. twice a week I can't sleep wid them bcoz of my job,I felt guilty & uncomfortable specially to my youngest. I felt they re always missed me. pls help...

Answer 1

quality is important,,,,, not quantity of time spent together.

Answer 2

Asking this question means one of two things to me. Either you don't have time for you children and that alone in my book makes you less than an adequate father. OR you really are torn about not having what you feel is sufficient time for your children and are looking for ways to make yourself feel better about it.

If you are the former.. no amount of time will be enough. If you are the latter, then I suggest you make every minute with your boys truly count. Make sure you are listening to them, hearing them, and being the best example you can be for them. If you persist in letting the guilt lead you you will lose their respect eventually, allow behaviors that are unacceptable, and teach them things like... they can get away with anything with dad around. Talk to them and listen to them.. communication is a two way street, and is the starting point of quality relationships even if there are not enough hours in a day.

Answer 3

Its good that you feel bad about this. So many families these days don't spend a lot of time together because of work. Unfortunately many people dont have a choice in order to suport their families.

You don't work SUnday... make this family day. Spend all day with them. Play ball, go to the park, the mall, ect... Make sure you spend time with both of them and each of them individually.

When you are home, what are you doing?? Things that you do that you can involve them with... do it!!! Eat dinner w/ them if you can, cook with them if you cook, if you read the paper, read the comics out loud. Little things mean a lot. I know working a lot can be tiring, so watch cartoons with them, or play a board game.

Stay involved by asking questions. Maybe write them a note that they can read (or have read to them) while you're at work. If you are allowed call them from work.

Don't feel bad, if this is out of neccssity. However, if your family doesn't NEED the money considering cutting back to only M-F

Answer 4

I am sure they do miss you, all kids miss their parents if they are good parents. All you need is enough time to do the 50/50. I mean show them 50% of the time, love, respect, play, and compassion...and the other 50% teaching them right from wrong. You cannot be swayed this way and stay consistant!!!! Children will love you more for being there to nurture them and talk then just having empty time. many men stay home all day with their kids but are never really there.

Answer 5

I don't believe in "quality" time. Quality is good, but quantity is better. How else can you really know them and they know you? Building trust and a relationship takes time. When I was a kid, my mother worked constantly; she never actually sat down for a conversation or a meal. She went all out for holidays with gifts, but couldn't tell you my favorite television show if her life depended on it. You are teaching your boys how to be men. Do you want them to grow up and be like you? If yes, then wonderful. If not, then think about it.

Answer 6

It is truly the quality of time you spend with your children not how much time you spend with them. When you are with your kids, make it about them. Play games, take them for walks, go to the park. Just have fun with them. When they grow up they will remember those times. I am in the exact same situation as you. When I come home I forget about everything else and make it all about my kids. I let them help me with supper and we do fun things the rest of the evening. When I tuck them in bed I always read them a story. Just remember it is the quality not the quanity!

Answer 7

My husband just changed his job schedule so that we could have more family time. I grew up in a family where my father's job meant we didn't see him for days at a time. I didn't want that for my sons, and neither did my husband. Just be fully present when you are with them, take them places and do things with them. You can't ever get this time back, and their teenage years loom just around the corner. Make connections now, or you won't have them until they are in their 20's.

Answer 8

there is always an hour left of the day to take fishing even for an hour or to the park for an hour out of you days. I raised three kids alone and held a job working eight to twelve hours a day but took them places even berry picking things to where my children all adults we talk about those things we did together.

Answer 9

Try being a single parent working 40 hours a week. Spend what you can and make the time worth while.

Answer 10

Child you are way too stressed. You worry about your girlfirend and your kids. I you just try to be who you ARE. If you're a nice guy your girl will not stray and your kids will love ya cause they know u love them. Life is not so complicated. Chill and enjoy what you got. Two great kids and a girl who's interested in you right now. relax and have a brewski.

Answer 11

Even though your job is demanding, you should be spending as much time with them as possible. If it's possible to change jobs, you should look into it. Your children may grow up thinking that daddy's job was more important than spending time with them, so you should correct this as early as possible.