Love for your children?

Question

Should love for your children be something thats automatic,that you should love them no matter what.
Or do you think that real love only comes with time and respect for each other

Answer 1

Automatic, no matter what.

Answer 2

Normally, there is an automatic and overwhelming urge to take care of and protect one's helpless little newborn. Normally, there's an automatic attachment to the little stranger that is yours, and you can have this thing where you don't want anything to hurt that baby at all - not even small things.

As the baby develops a personality and gets cuter and cuter the mother (or father) starts to really, really, get attached more and more. Part of it is the biological hard-wiring that makes most people tend to find puppies and kittens and any baby animals adorable, and part of it is as the baby gets more and more personality he/she gets really, really, lovable. They're sweet. They're funny. They love you so much. It is hard not to love someone who is clearly so in love with you!

As the child gets older and older the mother (or father) is really, really, attached because the child has been part of life for quite a while now; but also because the child starts to do things that the parent can admire.

As the child grows its kind of natural that the original kind of automatic love one had for a baby and child starts to turn into love because of who that child is. The combination of the two kinds of love make something so overwhelming that parents have to kind of put in the back of their mind the fears that come with the thought the something could happen to the child.

As the child gets to be a teenager the letting go process kind of gets into full swing, and parents become aware that while they still love the child so much they must make the effort to dial it back a little and let the child grow.

The worry and fear is at its height during the teen years and continues into the early twenties, although it all kind of gradually dies down. By the time one's child is about 25 it is almost a natural thing (in a healthy relationship) that a parent has taken her/his new place as someone who still loves the son or daughter beyond what can be described but who becomes more of a friend (who still has some parenting responsibility with regard to being supportive, and who still has a history with the son or daughter that nobody else can ever have).

Sometimes a teenager or young adult could get into things that are so dangerous for them the parent is thrust into fear time and time again to the point where they have to just stop caring. This is the beginning of the dying of love that can and does occur if the child gets into too many bad situations. That comes from being angry at being put by the son or daughter into so much absolute fear that something will happen to the child.

If the son or daughter straightens out, the parent who had had the right kind of love can begin to bring back all the love there was before the child did something to damage it.

In a not so little nutshell, that's about how it is when it comes to love one's children. There are people who clearly lack parental instincts, though, and I don't know how it is for such people.

Answer 3

I do not have kids, and will never be able to have my own. I plan on trying to adopt eventually. I think that love for your children should be automatic. With me, I don't know what kind of child I will adopt (newborn, toddler, teen, boy, girl, black, white), but I know that whoever that child is, I will love them no matter what. I think when I see that child for the first time I will automatically love them because that is what God will have planned for me. I'm supposed to be somebody's mom, just not a child from my own body. I think if I end up with an older child that wets the bed and tells me that they hate me, I will still love them anyway. A child cannot learn respect and love until they received respect and love.

Answer 4

Everyone is different, different cultures and expectations.

I believe a parent should love unconditionally. That doesn't mean you let them get away with anything. A parent is also responsible for raising good productive citizens and fostering good character. Discipline and personal responsibility will do that.

I never have not loved my children, from the moment of conception. Sometimes in their lives, I don't like them very much, but there isn't anything they could do that would make my love and devotion of them waiver.

I parent my children like I would have like to have been. I am 53 and know that my mother does not love me to this day. I no longer let it concern me, but it was the reason I thought long and hard before I became a parent, and I committed myself to being the kind of parent I wanted.

Seemed to work for them, they are wonderful kids.

Answer 5

I love my children no matter what. I've loved them with a passion since the second they were born. I would kill and die for each one of them. I think that love with the opposite sex comes with time and respect, but love for your children should come automatically.At least for me thats the way it is. There is nothing in this world that would ever make me love them less, even if they hated me, I would still die for them.

Answer 6

Well my wife and I just had our first baby, a little girl, and she is wonderful. I think I had love for her even before she was born.

I was at every doctor appointment and by my wife's side through everything. I was right in the mess in the delivery room.

My love for my baby was instantaeneous. We can hardly put the baby down and give her TONs of attention and love still at 8 months. She does sleep in her own room at night unless she is sick.

She is a very confident and happy baby. In fact I have never seen a baby so happy and always laughing and smiling. Its amazing.

Answer 7

Should be and is are two different things. Love for your children should be automatic, but this is not always the case. There are people who don't, people who can't, and people who grow to love them. It takes all kinds to populate the planet.

Answer 8

For me, loving my own children is automatic. I've loved them since the day I laid eyes on them. I will always love them.

To love someone else's children would take time.

Answer 9

Your love for your children comes automatically. you will always love them no matter what. It does not mean however you support them when they do something wrong or stupid.

Answer 10

i dont think its instantaneous for all mother and fathers, ive loved my own since i found out i was pregnant. i have since gained 2 step daughter whom i can honestly say i love just as much as my own..and have been put in a situation to prove that.. a bad car accident in which i put her safety ahead of my own. that did take some time. so mothers instinct is not for everyone..my SD's bio mother, has never loved them like i have

Answer 11

I loved each of them from the moment the test was positive. Its an incredible feeling. My daughter is 14 and my son is 10 now and when they tell me they love me ( which is daily ) sometimes I say "I loved you first...." Then I hear "OH MOOOMMM!"