Do you think putting your child on a leash in your house is child abuse?

Question

I have a child that is completely uncontrollable, he is 3. The doctors and state officials want to put him on medication, but I think that if I put him on an 8ft leash inside my house then he can't hurt himself or my other children (which he does), or destroy things (which he does). I put him in his room and he tears the walls, window, bed and hangers up. I figure if I put him on a leash in the living room he can still interact with the family and be put on an award system. Each 30min that he behaves he will get a new toy, when he misbehaves he will lose a toy. I'm feel as though I'm out of options, time outs don't work, room time doesn't work, spankings don't work, hot sauce doesn't work, etc. I love my son and if I can't get a grip on him now, what am I going to do when he's older? I have no problem letting the doctors medicate, but I know that he is going to need some type of behavioral help also. Any ideas, any one? Thank you!!

Answer 1

WOW!

You NEED professional help TOMORROW!!

Too much to handle by yourself.


Please get some help, you both deserve it.


Good luck!

Answer 2

Has a Dr. given a diagnosis for your child. Do some research on that. Try a homeopathic doctor who may be able to prescribe something herbal instead. If all else fails use the medication, keep a close eye on him and document all changes. I would consider covering/boarding the window in his room and putting him in there. At three he can't do much to the walls that some paint won't fix later. Remove everything but a few toys and his bed with a pillow and blanket and bottom sheet. Reward him by giving toys back. A leash that long could get wrapped around him and choke him or another child. I am more concerned about safety than right or wrong with the leash. You seem frustrated and I don't blame you at all just try to get something done soon. Don't forget that while he needs care you also need a break. Make sure to take some time for yourself so when you are with him you are the best you can be. Good luck.

Answer 3

I suggest seeing a counselor to help out. As well as drs that you trust. You do need to get a grip on this now, but a leash?? I'm thinking no. I can't even stand seeing those things in public places. In a house, you may leave him for 1 minute and come back and he's strangled himself up on the tv or the couch. He could hang himself. It's NOT a good idea. Try spending more quality time with him. Reading, Writing, Coloring, Bathtime, Walks. The reward system WILL work because I have done this with my 3 year old son that had a phase of this. Make a tally chart on the fridge, somwhere he can see and mark down every good "deed" he does and every 5 good deeds, he gets an OLD toy back that's been taken away from past timeouts. It will give him something to look forward to and gives him goals.
I think your son just wants your attention, so give it to him. And no leashes, only for your dog.

Answer 4

I don't think that a leash is really the safest or best option. The reward system sounds like it could backfire fairly easily as well, since he might throw a fit if he was bad and you take away the toy. Children shouldn't need to be rewarded for being good, and at the same time, need a tangible and clear consequence for behaving badly. Time out's are a joke, being sent to his room sounds like it doesn't do anything except fuel his destructiveness. Hot sauce? That's a new one to me and I'm Irish Catholic... seen a belt once or twice in my day, no hot sauce. I can see that you want to find a nonviolent, solution while avoiding childhood medication. I hate to say this, but sometimes getting beaten up by an older sibling is the best way to keep your child in line. I'm not saying that you should tell your other kids to beat him up, but maybe if they got away with it once, he'd start to get the message.

Just an idea, please take all advice from here with a grain of salt.

Answer 5

Has this child been evaluated by a health care professional for neurological disorders?

I only ask because autism spectrum disorders run in my family, and this sounds awfully familiar.(ADHD, autism, aspergers, ect.) Diagnosis of any disorder takes a lot of time and effort on the part of the parent.

If the doctors have evaluated him and decided that medication is a good route for him, then for god's sake, put the child on meds!!! If you think you're saving his quality of life by not putting him on medication, you're wrong. It's the same as if your child couldn't walk without braces, would you deny those as well?

If you are dead set against any kind of medication, then may I suggest a change in diet? There is a book out there called "Special diets for Special kids". Sometimes these behaviors can be affected by a type of food allergy. My own autistic brother is way better when he doesn't have any wheat gluten in his diet, so there is some validity in this.

Bottom line is: A leash is suitable if your child only runs away, but when there is a serious behavioral disorder, more thought about his care is in order. Talk to his doctor about all the options available to you because it's your responsibility to give this child all the advantages of any "normal" child.

Answer 6

The leash sounds like putting a band-aid on a huge wound. If your son is having such serious behavioral problems, then you're right: medication alone is not the solution. But a leash probably isn't either. I'd suggest finding a good child therapist in your area. I'm an undergrad working with a great play therapist now, and you'd be amazed at the difference therapy can make, even at age 3. The therapist can also help you come up with ideas about how best to handle his behavior at home, and even to prevent it. It's important that you start early (like you mentioned), because it's easier to help kids if you start early. One child I'm helping with was getting in fights in school constantly (he's six), but play therapy has helped him so much--he's much calmer now, and he doesn't have trouble in school or anything. Your son isn't abnormal or anything--that's pretty common. He may just have a hard time expressing his emotions, and time spent in play therapy can help him learn to do that. He may want to behave better but just not know how to, and that can be very frustrating and painful for a kid. If you're feeling that you need to resort to a leash, I'd try play therapy first! It's good that you're looking for solutions: stay proactive like that, and your son will benefit from it.

Answer 7

what have they diagnosed him with? Any kinds of mental illness? Not saying he has anything but just curious. His actions are pretty irratic for a 3 year old. As a Mom, I would do what I feel needs to be done for my son. If my son ever acted like that I would try everything under the sun before medicating him. God only knows what kinds of meds they would put your child on and how your child would react to it. More then likely it would make him like a zombie. And who wants a zombie for a child, not that you want him to continue to do the things he is doing. I sure hope that u have a good support system, because Im sure this is taking a toll on you. I would just make sure that the leash is only on his arm or leg to where he cannot harm himself and make sure he can get to the potty. I hope things work out for the best. Take care of yourself too...

Answer 8

It is certainly a different idea. If he has room to move around and interact then I don't think it's abusive. If you had him tied by a 1 foot leash that would be wrong. I would also try the medication. This solution might only work so long, you have to consider if he could hurt himself or the other children with the leash. Talk to his doctor about it, you are right to want to work behaviorly and medically. If your doctor tells you not to do it, then don't, someone could call CPS and seriously screw everything up for your family and especially him.

Answer 9

Yes A Leash In The House IS Abuse!!!!
Your child is probly hyper active. Like it or not meds are the best answer. I had a brother like this. In his teens he stopped taking his meds. He got out of control and even tried to hurt several of my family members including me. He had to be removed from the home. I know from experience putting your child on meds is the last thing you want to do. But you have to think of what's best for your family. If he truely is hyper active from my experience without meds he will only get worse.
The award thing is a great idea but don't forget punishments for bad behavoir.Such as removing privilages.Also I've learned from family experience spanking a child like this doesn't work. Ignoring temper tantrums is hard but it can work mariacles. Showing him bad behavior is not going to get your attention but good behavior will. Also behavior therapy may help. Being a mother of 4. I've learned what works for 1 child doesn't always work for another. You keep on trying different things to you find what works for the individual child. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

My son is on medicine to help control his hyperactivity. It sounds like your child has Destructive ADHD. Meds will help and in this instance I believe meds will work. CAUTION!!! Watch very carefully for continuing thoughts/actions of hurting self or others. He's only 3 but it's a side effect of these meds.(i know it's silly when the side effect is worse than the problem). Also instead of a leash (I used them outside to the tree so kids woudln't run into street) but in the house your child will be like a caged animal. Plus what of the other children? If they start taunting him (you know You caaan't touuuch me) he's gonna just get really mad and it'll make it worse. In a way baby proof your house. If he has a fit give him a "Safe Corner" one corner free from things that can hurt him. LOTS of pillows and blankets to scream into and hit. He needs an outlet to the frustration that he feels. This gives him a "safe corner" in which to do it. Good Luck

Answer 11

It sounds like your son needs SERIOUS help! You need to find another doctor who will get to the root of the problem because obviously there is a problem. I would not put him on a leash without talking to a social worker first. It would probably be easier to get a social worker to listen to you about what you're going through than a police officer.
Try taking everything, and I mean everything out of his room except a bed and few safe toys & leaving him in there. Of course don't lock him in where he couldn't get out in an emergency.
Good luck.