Since we christian/catholics strive to be like God,we must forgive right?-but what if the forgiveness is false

Question

i feel that i SHOULD (aka obligated) to forgive my father for something that i feel strongly about. I know i should because it's what a good child of God would do, but i can't bring my self to do this because i would be lying--aka breaking a commandment, which would add on to the whole being a bad child of christ.
What to do??

Answer 1

Snazzy Me. I can understand your thoughts on this because I still have a hard time with the person who molested me as a child.

I can appreciate that you are sincerely trying to obey God, and what's great is that God understands this as well. He knows you want to obey Him but your feelings are still hurt over this issue.

Here's what I do when my anger still gets to me on my abuser.

I turn to God and let God know I no longer want to be angry at this person.

I then remember that God forgave EVERYONE their sins, and died for those sins, even the ones that were done upon us by another person. He even died for the sins no one is willing to repent over.

The next step I do is to say, and here is the hard part, I no longer want to be angry at that person. Because this is really about two different things 1) The person did something wrong, and 2) A person was hurt by this issue. Can you see the difference between those two facts?

I then say to God, I want to put turn this issue over to God and let him handle the judgment. I then say in my heart, I am forgiving that person and will no longer let that person be punished by me. Because now it's up to God to do the punishment (and remember that God's judgment is much more lasting than our own).

Then I ask God to put it in my heart to forgive that person for their wrong doing, and also ask that God takes the hurt away.

The hurt takes longer to heal, but when I forgave that person, I felt such a relief.

Yes, at times I still get angry and am hurt, but I know I have forgiven them and I try to remember to pray for that person. I know it's hard, but I don't mean "God I want YOu to punish that person" but instead I pray, "God bless that person" Because you know that if you can do that, you may win that person over to God.

And if you think about how the Bible talks in Matthew and Luke, we are to forgive and to walk in love. There are verses like when a person hurts us to turn the other cheek, and to give a person a cloak so we can win them over.

When we forgive them, we have the opportunity to show we are greater than the hurt and pain they cause us. And their attitude is their own problem and not ours.

You may say, but you can't forget. That's true. I can't forget, especially as I have daughters who I have to protect. I still don't trust the person so my children are not allowed anywhere near the perpetrators. It's okay to protect others, and not to trust them.

But I pray that God will open up your heart to forgive them. It may not take away the anger, but in psychological terms, think about all the damage that it causes for you when you keep anger and resentment inside. It's not healthy. But forgiving that person also releases your anger from your countenance. By stopping the anger and resentment, it also allows your beauty to show from within.

Answer 2

You are not a bad child of Christ.God knows why you can't or are having a hard time forgiving.He wants a real forgiveness not a false one and sometimes it takes a long time to forgive. By the sounds of it you are trying and that's the main thing. I could not forgive my parents for years for what they did to me.It took a lot of tears and counseling before I came anywhere near to forgiving.We are no where near as strong as God and He knows that but again you are trying.
Talk to a professional or your own minister/priest if you are comfortable (clergy that is) and keep talking over and over until it is out and you can finally accept what is going on or happened.
One thing I was told though forgiveness is NOT the first step.It is the last step because when you deal with what's happened you can finally let go.All the best and God bless.

Answer 3

Forgiveness is something that happens, not something that is said. No, you should not tell your father that you forgive him if you truly do not. What you must do is ask God to help you to forgive your father. You do need to forgive, which is not the same as forget, remember. The transgression does not pass, but you should not hold on to the anger, outrage, whatever emotions you have towards your father because of what he has done. You need to forgive him so that you can move on.

Answer 4

This question of yours has great oppertunity for some wonderful answers. I do hope you can get answers that have merit and can assist you in doing the right thing.

Hears My answer. I'm a Christian man in my late 50's who has 3 children. All boys.

Sinse you say you are a Catholic Christian, lets look at your question in parts.

Ist. part: Striving to be like God. Satan strive to be like God and look where it got him. Its costing him his life.

You need to practice the teaching of Our Saviour Jesus Christ by reading His Word daily. This is how Faith is increased. With Faith, all things are possible.

2nd. part: We must forgive: We are to forgive everyone who in repentance comes to us and ask for forgiveness.

No where does it say that we are obligated to forgive say Hitler for killing more than 20 million people during his dictatorship.

3rd. part: You are to honor your father and mother: This does not mean that you are to blindly condone everything they do or say. You are an individual and are capable of coming up with your own opinion. While living under their roof, and sharing in their lives, you honor them this way. When you are on your own they honor you under your roof.

4th. part: Pretending is not being a good child of God: If you have a problem with your father you need to ask him politly if he would be willing to discuss the problem calmly and with love.
Tell him that you love him and this is breaking your heart and causing you to loose respect for him. Every father on the planet loves their daughters. It is differant than the love a father has for a son.

Being a good child of God verses a bad child of God. This has no merit. Be a child of God and be pleasing unto Him by recieving His Son and studing to show yourself acceptabal.><>

Answer 5

First your should never forget. As for forgiving sometimes it takes a very long time. Especially if the victimizer is punished or never tries to makes amends. Yes you should forgive, but don't worry if it doesn't happen over night, and just continue praying for the strength to forgive.

Answer 6

Perhaps forgive is the wrong word .
Maybe understanding is a better one.
You have left to much out, did he cheat on your mom ? did he rape you ? or is this a strong difference of opinion? Yes it makes a big difference. You are not God and can never be like him .
It sounds like you are judging your father .
Can you elaborate on your question.?

Answer 7

the vulnerable has no ability to bear the hurts and pains , self based that even forgiveness does not comprises his coronary heart , afraid to stand realities ,, purely the solid you could forgive because of the fact he accepts and comprehend the destiny or destiny that comes alongside , wounded and scarcity of life yet waiting to pass on , proceed life and hopes for tommorrow and the day beforehand of this became right into a bitter candy memory that holds him to be solid .

Answer 8

Yes as the followers of Christ we ought to forgive those who offend us or our heavenly father will not forgive us. The forgiving process may be hard but you must be willing to do it if you want to make it right with GOD and your dad. God forgave us so much, we ought to forgive our fellow men the same, their trespass against us can't be measured with the one Christ forgave us for. God will help you to forgive, just be willing to do it.

Answer 9

There was a time I said to God I am going to kill my brother.I literally said it.I was so angry.
God said forgive him and I asked why?He said because this is not between you and him it is between me and him.I could see what he was talking about and when I said I forgive him then,there was a peace that I have never experienced before.Now it is easier to forgive anyone because it is between God and them.
Vengeance is mine thus sayeth the Lord.

Answer 10

This is one of the most difficult things to do. Pray for God to help you forgive and heal your hurt.