This is a hard question for me to write. I feel Judaism has been calling to me lately...?

Question

I have been an avid atheist for a few years. I was raised Jewish, but non reform, I have never been a very active Jew. Lately, honestly mainly because of this forum, I have been thinking about Judaism again. Seeing questions of hatred towards the Jews has made me angry and I have found myself defending the religion. I am so lost. I don't see the logic in believing in God, but I feel like Judaism has been calling to me. I want to attend a High Holy Day service, but they are all so expensive that I cannot afford it. Any opinions? I could really use some advice

Please....I don't want any hatred. I would appreciate that no one tries to point me towards their faith, and no atheists make fun of me for how I am feeling right now. I just feel lost and I could use a little guidance, and I don't need to feel bad about myself because of it.

Thank you for all of the answers so far. I am not really sure where to start looking for Jewish communities, I just moved to California from New York a little over a month ago. I am definitely going to look into it, I hope I can find a place that will let me attend a service for free. Thanks to most of you for not being judgemental

Answer 1

No hatred. I admire that you had the courage to express your doubts in this public forum.

Have you considered becoming involved with Humanistic Judaism? That way you can embrace your rich Jewish heritage without having to obey the superstitious bits.

May you find much joy and personal fulfillment on your spiritual journey.

Answer 2

Have you ever noticed how you can talk bad about, or have a lack of faith in, someone you love, but the minute someone else starts bad mouthing them, you feel the need to defend them?

I think that Judiasm is ingrained in your upbringing and that's why you feel a pull in that direction. I think that you know God exists but can't accept that which the world believes to be true. But just because the world believes it, doesn't mean it's true. Whether Jesus is the promised Savior or not, it doesn't change the fact that organized religion has been so corrupt, has been responsible for most all wars and caused the deaths of millions of people throughout the ages. It's a no wonder we can't all accept that which the world believes to be true.

When people persecute your people you naturally feel anger and confusion over why God could allow such things to happen, thus there really couldn't be a God. But you know in your heart there is.

I think you need to spend some quiet time alone in a really beautiful place, like up in the mountains or alone in a field of daisies.. and you will find Him and find peace. You don't need Judiasm, Christendom or any other organized religion to find the truth. And you don't need to spend money you can't afford to find Him.

When you see something truly magnificent, you will have seen Him in only a fraction of His glory. He'll help you find the answers you seek and find peace in your heart.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I know this must be a really tough struggle for you. I know leaving Christianity was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make. You should ask yourself why are you an atheist... the real reasons that only you knows... and what about Judaism is appealing to you and why should you convert. What will you gain and loose by embracing Judaism? Maybe the reason you are considering it again is that you have felt personally attacked by the hateful comments. Maybe you feel that if you convert back then you would have the "right" to defend that faith. Whatever decision you make should be thought through thoroughly. Asking yourself questions... and if you journal your thoughts and answers it can be a big help in making your choice. Delusional or not... you must decide what is best for you and for you alone. Don't worry about who you will offend... atheists or Jews. I hope you find the peace of mind that you seem to desperately need right now.

Answer 4

Three things (please read them all, not trying to convert you):

1) There is no logic in believing in God. I'm a physicist, but I'm active in the Episcopal church. Belief in God is a matter of faith no matter what your religion or profession.

2) Being a Christian, I don't know what a High Holy Day service is, but since you are leaning towards renewing your faith, why not attend some regular (free) services and talk to the Rabbi before you commit. Commitment is important, but should be well thought out. (Personal opinion: you shouldn't be required to pay to worship.)

3) Follow your heart but let your mind help steer.

Answer 5

The fact is that people often confuse ZIONISM and JUDAISM. They sound alike and politicians will infuse the two, but they have got nothing to do with each other. Many people who express their hatred towards Jews and Judaism are mistakingly applying zionism to Judaism and believe that zionism is Judaism. Zionism has got nothing to do with Judaism and anyone with any background in POLITICAL SCIENCE and religion will tell you the same thing.

Don't let the hatred drive you away from any religion. That's socialism. The intolerance of religion. Pursuit of religion is a God given right to every human on the planet.

BTW. Zionism is socialism. If you doubt me, look it up. jewsagainstzionism.com is a good place to start. It will tell you the truth about the Torah.

Answer 6

First, whether or not you believe in God, you ARE in fact Jewish. More people should be offended by the hatred here, I am glad that you are... it makes you very normal.

As to attending High Hoy Day Services, absolutely no one will be turned away, you may not get a seat up front, but you will not be turned away... so if you can, go. Whether or not you believe in God, it is still part of who you are, so embrace it. It's where you came from.

Whether or not your belief in God changes, well, that is up to you... no one can change your mind... but those people in the synagogue will embrace you for who you are, without judgement.

Best of everything in finding yourself... its not always an easy quest.

Answer 7

So go be a Jew! Personally, I am agnostic, and not a fan of any organized religion. But having said that, I think if it makes someone feel happy, or fulfilled, then worship away! (Having to PAY to attend a service is one of the main reasons I have a beef with organized religion!)

Answer 8

Good for you, follow your heart and seek Yahweh w/all your heart.

People are hateful any way you look at it. It wasn't the Jew who killed Yeshua, but that is the devil's way of not allowing the world to love you.

You are created in the image of G-d and satan hates us all, but mostly YOU because G-d chose your race to bring us Yeshua whom we believe is the Messiah.

Even the Holy Bible comes from you. You are part of us. See it all makes sense when you realize how important the Jewish race and Israel are. People are jealous of the Jews.

I am Messianic, but not Jewish, I am Christian, but I believe in the feasts and Sabboth. I love Israel and the Jewish people.

G-d is just calling you back to Him, wow, what a walk you are going to have. Wish I could walk it with you.

Answer 9

Follow what you feel to be right.

My opinion: You don't HAVE to have reasons to believe what you do (unless you try to convince others...helps to have logic on your side in that scenario). Just go with what feels right to you, whether it be illogical, hypocritical, or just plain weird.

You don't need other people to tell you what YOU believe. It may be the Jewish culture that you feel attracted to, it may be the psychological advantages that the concept of a higher being brings that are appealing to you. You don't have to commit to ANY beliefs, just follow the flow and enjoy it.

Answer 10

I think it is great that you are thinking, yet questioning your feelings. That means that you really have a caring conscience, as well as some maturity.

This may not be the case, but it sounds like you are drawn to it only to defend it. Also, I question a religion where you want to attend something but "cannot afford it." That almost seems like spritual enslavement/abuse to me. However, only you can follow your heart. You may want to pray/meditate/anything to really center your thoughts and feel closer to the Creator. Best of luck to you.