I have a questain for parents I have a two year old that lives with his mom and she has a boyfriend and I catch him calling him dad also it bothers me I have told her about it what can/should I do I see him everyweekend so thats not an issue... Will he come out of it and realize im his only father?
2006-09-08 14:23:54 · 15 answers · asked by rapid57702 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My ex walked out on me when my kids were 2 and 1 years of age, and then a few years later she remarried. Yes, they do outgrow it, although you'll go through some tough times when they celebrate Father's Day with him, and not you. It's tough, I know, but they do outgrow it. Their stepdad is a nice man, and he did raise them because of their mother's incompetence as an adult and wife and mother, and he'll always be a dad to them in one way. But I'll always be their dad, and there's no way to get around that because their blood type and body characteristics are unquestionably mine, and there's no getting around that, at least in my situation, since I have a rare blood type that their stepdad doesn't, and they have my body characteristics which he doesn't and can't have. You just stay around. It'll be tough, I know. My kids are 20 and 22 now, and they know who dad is, and they can call their stepdad "dad" all they want, but they're old enough to know the difference. As my dad told me twenty years ago when the ex first walked out and he saw how heartbroken I was, "Stick around, son. In their younger years all they need is a mother, someone to feed them and cuddle them and keep them clean. It's when they get older that they're really gonna need you, dad." Ya know, my dad sure was a smart man. He died in 2005, but even now I'm learning from him, and even passing his wisdom on to others. You stick around too. No matter what goes on when they're young, when they get older, their dad, their REAL dad, is the one they're gonna need. Trust me on this one. Me and my dad. God Bless you.
2006-09-08 14:39:16 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend gets his kids for a week,every other week. So they see me alot. I don't live with him. But his kids told me I'm their mom when they are here. As long as he is still calling you dad and not something else, I wouldn't worry. He's only 2.
My son would love to have someone to call dad. He hasn't seen his dad in 4 years! He only lives 30 minutes away too!!
At least you are still involved with your son. Don't worry about what other people say about you walking out on your kid. They don't know the situation that caused you not to be there full time.
2006-09-08 15:02:07 · answer #2 · answered by danadeville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 2 years old your little one is to young to really understand the situation. I am in a relationship and my b/f has 2 kids from a previous marriage (ages 6 and 3) and there have been times that they have called me mom and I do act as a mother figure for them but at the same time they already have a mother so I def. do not want to overstep. When they say this I just make a joke out of it and I say ; what did you just say? No, silly I'm (My name)Maybe you should try to talk to your ex and ask her to talk to her b/f to try this approach b/c she wouldn't like it if you were with another women and your child called your g/f mom.
2006-09-08 15:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by lavender 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you divorced? Is there a legal divorce/ separation document? My divorce specified that no other person could be given the designation of Mom or Dad. Remind your child's mother OFTEN that you are his dad, and no one else should be referred to as such. Remind your son gently that you are his only dad, not (fill in the blank). And see a lawyer about getting everything pertaining to custody in writing, so you have legal recourse if she is uncooperative in co-parenting your little guy. Good luck -- it's a been there/done that for me and a solid, respectful relationship between parents who are no longer together *is* possible, and very desirable for the good of the children involved.
2006-09-08 14:33:22 · answer #4 · answered by Chickyn in a Handbasket 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember he's 2!! His perception of what is going on between his parents is limited to cartoons and stuff where households have both parents. He loves you... and make sure that you make him feel loved.
Its always hard when parents dont live together. My fiance has a son who lives with his mom and her boyfriend. He is older and KNOWS WHO HIS FATHER IS. Just make sure your ex isn't encouraging it, and/or trash talking you. He will grow out of it.
You should feel good though. Since you aren't with him during the week, feel good that your son is safe and happy. Wouldn't you feel worse if the boyfriend treated your son like ****???
2006-09-08 15:58:12 · answer #5 · answered by tonip1963 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As painful as it is, it is not the child's fault. Their is a big difference in being a father (creating a child) and dad (being there for the child.) Do not try to teach the child otherwise, his/her life is already torn apart. Instead, be there for the child every possible time. Tell the mother the same thing and ask her to please not force another3er "stud" on the child (statistics show he will not be around long anyways) As the child grows older, and if you spend the time you can with them, they will come to know the difference as to who is dad, father, and Mommy's latest fling...
Been there, still there, still dealing with it here...
2006-09-08 14:53:28 · answer #6 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh! I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to overhear that. But listen, your son is only 2 and doesn't know any better. Eventually he will have questions that will need to be answered.
Your ex should teach your son to call her boyfriend by name. I mean, really...is this boyfriend going to stick around for the next 18 years? How many boyfriends is she going to have between now and then?
I don't know...if it were me, I wouldn't allow my son to call some boyfriend of mine "dad". Even if I got remarried, I wouldn't allow it...unless my child felt that he earned that title. And at that time, we would sit down as a family and discuss it. But that's just me. Maybe that makes me a B*tch?
2006-09-08 14:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by my_lil_buttercups 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with your kid having two dad's? If you both love and care for him it shouldn't matter. What do you think would happen if/when they get married, this guy would be the kids stepfather, so what's the big deal with him calling him dad now. Just be happy that your ex has picked someone who is happy to be apart of your childs life. Grow up and think about your child not your own selfish pride.
2006-09-08 14:42:23 · answer #8 · answered by Nails 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as it hurts to hear you need to remember you are his dad. Spend time with him never be afraid to let him know you love him and you and his mom not being together has nothing to do with him.
If you think he can say hurtful things when he is 2 wait till he is 13!
Just remember he will some day be 20 something and you will be proud to call him son.
Chances are that he wont even remember this fella by the time
he is ten.
As for now BE his dad. I wouldn't say anything, bide your time and choose your battles
2006-09-08 14:39:49 · answer #9 · answered by robyn o 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are that child's biological father you NEED to let the mommy know you don't appreciate YOUR kid calling another man daddy especially if you are in your son's life. Your ex needs a *** whooping for that .. whats next ?? If they break up and she has a new man is he gonna call him dad too , your son will grow up being confused calling every man he sees daddy
2006-09-08 15:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋