How much strength do we need?

Question

Lets start from last year...my dad get diagonseed with asbestosis, and we are all dealing with that.. and it sucks to watch my dad die slowly.. then my mom needs life threatening surgery in another state, while in another state with my mom, my dad codes, he survives.. we all ( us kids) work well together to take care of them both because hey have earned that.. from us.., my sister who has already had a double matsectomi, found another lump, and today, my brother was in a near fatal car accident...We are all trying to do 24 hour care so that neither of my folks ever see a nursing home.. please.. how much can one family take.??? I know noone has this answer, but a few people with some kind of a positive outlook might help..

Oh my God.. I just saw my typos and errors.. but no matter.. I want serious answers only..

Answer 1

I completely understand what you are saying. My family has gone through some horrific things in the last year. If I had to be honest with you, I would have to say there has been days I just didn't want to get out of bed or still be alive because of everything that has taken place. But I want to encourage you to ask God for grace and more grace. The best thing I have learned even with my frustrations pointed at Him, I know that only God can help me through anything. I don't always understand why things happen the way they do but you have to come terms that there is a higher being in control and He will not allow you to go through anything that you and your family can't handle. Just knowing that that can ease the pain but doesn't necessarily put a smile in your heart. Stick together with your family, you will get through these hard times. Pray, cry, fuss, throw a fit, do whatever you need to do to release the pain inside of you. Know that God loves you and he will see you through even if you don't know why all this is going on - no one truly ever does understand trials, troubles, and tribulations. But you are not alone and we are here for you anytime you need to vent.

Answer 2

I can't imagine the stress right now. My family is going through something similar at the moment, so I can sympathize, if only a little.

Please remember to take care of yourselves - get a home health aide periodically, if you need a break. There's no shame in that, believe me. Spend as much time as you can with your folks - they appreciate it, and they are going to be more comfortable and happy at home than they will be in a hospital, for as long as they can manage it. But if the time comes that they need more care than you can provide, do not fret over getting help - be it an in-home aide, a nursing facility, or hospice care. You folks wouldn't want you damaging your own health and well-being on their account - they worked too hard to get you where you are.

Talk with their doctors about all available options. If there is training you can get fairly quickly and not to expensively, consider it, if the doctor thinks it will help (or at least make your parent(s) feel better).

My heart goes out to you. You have a long, hard road (not news to you, I know) ahead.

Answer 3

tootsie38,

David had problems. People were out to kill him. But he knew the Lord, and the Lord delivered Him. This Psalm is the first thing that came to mind when I read what you wrote.

Psalms 46

1 To the chief Musician for the sons of Korah, A Song upon Alamoth. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.


You have to trust Him to pull you through. That's what He does. It's His nature to help His children with their problems. That's why He is our deliverer, our Salvation.

Answer 4

In a single year half of my family was wiped out. My grandfather died suddenly in an accident and my grandmother died slowly of bone cancer(two examples). My brother was also born that year but I guess that's the good from the bad. You must have something good come from everything, even if it's just your family pulling together to get through these events. It's hard when your family goes through these things; they have a habit of making you grow up faster and take responsiblity. Just hold strong and keep moving forward. After all, I was only nine when my family died and I made it so you can too.

Answer 5

I'm in a similiar situation as you. The way that I find strength is through prayer and reading God's word eveyday. I ask the Lord to show me what to do. Some days are better than others, but I don't give up. God never put more on you than you can bear. Ask the Lord for guidance and look into other resources that will help you and your family.

Answer 6

Just take one day at a time,and ask god for help.He is there for you,I know that it doesn't seam like it ,but just keep lookin a head and don't look back.It will get better in time.I am to having trouble lookin a head cause my mom has been struck with a disease where she doesn't no what she is doing,I took my grand daughter out to see her on Aug.29 and she started yelling and scared her half to death and she started crying and I yelled at her and now I feel real bad for doing that when she can't help it ,so keep looking to god for guidance.And GOD BLESS

Answer 7

Don't be afraid to ask for help in your communities. You and your family don't have to deal with this by yourself. The stress alone could create difficulties in caring for your parents and each other. If you have a supportive church family (or if your parents do), ask the church members for help. Many churches will help with daily care, meal preparation, etc. - even for non-members. If health benefits provide for home health care, take advantage of it. Get all the help you can. You are in my prayers. God bless.

Answer 8

Remember, what ever trial and tribulation you experience, is supposed to strenghten your FAITH!!

If not yours, then your siblings must need a lesson in all this, as you all are going through this, and we are here to be taught what is needed of us, and to strenghten us.

Ask the LORD, to help you! Go to Church and get aquainted with fellow Christians, and fellowship as much as you can possibly do.

A good "extended Church Family" is the next best thing to having your own family there when things go bad!!

Dont belong to one? I would suggest that you join and find out what the LORD has in store for you...

Everyone has thier trials and tribulations. And believe me, my family has gone through some tremendous ones ourselves, with our children, and we have coped with the LORD'S help and love...(Though, a lot of people wonder why we did, or how we did, I give thanks to the LORD for all the trials and tribulations, because we are stronger in our FAITH, and we have grown as a family).

I wish you well, and shall pray for you.

Jesse

Answer 9

wow, I can't begin to imagine... so sorry. for immediate family I've only had to deal with my father's untimely demise. and my mom has MS but it hasn't affected her that badly. Hope you will accept that on the other side of your computer sits someone who will pray for you and yours.

Answer 10

YOU NEED ALL THE STRENGTH AND GOOD WILL YOU CAN GET....TRY TO GET AT HOME VISITING NURSE ASSOC TO COME IN....THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DO.....AND I DONT CARE WHAT DEDICATION YOU HAVE TO YOUR PARENTS....ITS DEGRADING NOT APPLAUDABLE TO DO SOME OF THINGS YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO DO........BEEN THERE......WITH THE WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS THING......YOU NEED A BREAK....YOUR PARENTS AND FAMILY NEED THE DIGNITY.....ID RATHER DIE OUTRIGHT..THEN HAVE FAMILY DOING WHAT WE DID.....REALLY.....PEACE TO YOU...SEEMS YOUVE HAD A TOUGH TIME.