I need to re-write this question because alot of people assumed the wrong thing. My bf (JOE) and I were looking for rings for a couple months, we knew we couldn't afford a shnazzy one, but we just kept looking. WELL his cousin was ring shopping as well with JOE's mom - and When she saw a ring she thought I would love- she called up JOE and said I found the perfect ring, and then offered to buy it- cause she knew our financial state. JOE knew she had the money to do it- so agreed. This way he could get a ring on my finger alot sooner then we both thought. When he proposed I was shocked, like where did you get the money for this.. long story short, a few days ago she told him, she regreted buying that ring for us, like blessing us with that ring was a mistake! He proposed early July- we're not even married yet. NOW my question is how do we go about giving her the ring back?
2006-09-08 13:41:45 · 13 answers · asked by LOinVE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Go together and hold your head up high. Tell her thank you, and leave it at that. If you are planning on marring him, it is a good ideal to stay nice to his mother no matter what. good luck. some day you will be glad that you did..
2006-09-08 13:48:31 · answer #1 · answered by ticonderoga1186 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, that was completely rude and inconsiderate of her. She should have thought it out BEFORE she made the offer to your fiance to buy the ring.
Just swallow your pride and do it. Clean the ring and put it back in it's original box. Then the two of you go together to her house when, preferably call ahead to schedule a good time for a serious visit with her. You don't need to tell her why, just make sure she understands that you two will be there and wish to talk to her. After you get there, start off on the right foot by apologizing for the misunderstanding. You understand that she was trying to be nice and help you two out. Then give it back to her and tell her you understand her reservations. You agree that maybe it wasn't her place to have bought the ring, and you are sympathetic to her for the rough situation she was placed in by the gesture.
You don't actually have to mean any of it. That would be asking too much. Now is the time to make nice with her, you will be a part of her family and she will be a part of yours. The sooner you can build a good relationship with her, the better. She may not even really want it back, but I'm sure she will appreciate the gesture, especially since she has made her feelings known to you two.
Then have a good, long talk with your fiance. He should have been up front about where the ring came from, if he didn't tell you when he gave it. There was always the possibility that you would not have wanted an engagement ring that somebody else bought. I know I wouldn't. I would rather have nothing on my hand at all than a ring that was not bought by my husband or myself. He also should have had a more through discussion with his mother before he accepted. It was really his responsibility to make sure that both of the women were going to be happy with this.
2006-09-08 22:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think Joe's mother has such a cheek to buy a wedding ring when you weren't even present. If I were you I would take the ring back to her and tell her what you think, if you put up with this bullying behaviour she will continue to interfere with your life. I am sure Joe can buy you some inexpensive wedding rings, even if they are silver, the cost of the ring is so unimportant, To be honest I wouldn't even invite this woman to the wedding, elope instead it will be so much more intimate and romantic. Good luck.
2006-09-09 02:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very rude on her part. She shouldn't have done it if she was not prepared to loose the money or whatever else it is that makes her change her mind. However I think that you need to very nicely return it to her, thanking her for trying to help ya'll out. Tell her that as she bought the ring, you will return it to her as requested and let her make the return, but again how much you appreciate her help. Remember this will be your future Mother in law, so now is not the time to build walls between you. Be more gracious than she is - and forgive her for her thoughtlessness so that you do not harbour anger which will grow into a great bitterness. Set the foundation right for ya'lls future dealings with each other and your ultimate relationship. You have a LOT of years in front of you to not blow it now. Who knows she may be testing you.
2006-09-08 21:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by cjmd6225 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Give the ring back to her. Bring your fiancee along and just give it back. Like someone else on here was saying. Go to QVC.com, get a nice diamonique ring for the time being, get married and on your first wedding anniversary maybe he can get you something real that you can wear for the rest of your life.
You don't want to start off your married life with stress about your mother in law. This should be a happy time for you and your fiancee. Congratulations..........and Best of Luck!
2006-09-09 00:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has there been a falling out with you and your mother in law? It seems odd that she'd be happy enough with you and your relationship with her son to see a ring and thing of you and offer to buy it, and now this.
You really don't have much choice but to give it back; in your other question, I assumed you'd been long married in which case its too late for her to take it back. But with this, give it back and say something like "I'm very dissappointed that you've changed your mind about supporting us" or something like that.
Then, go get another ring.
2006-09-08 23:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does a ring matter? I think you are missing what is truly important here, it is not important to pick out the perfect ring, it is so much more important to pick the right person to marry!
Give the ring back and go to QVC and buy a Diamonique, check out the web page, they are GORGEOUS! No one will ever know it's not real and as long as your love for him is real, that's all that matters!
2006-09-08 21:21:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow.recently engaged myself & i would be so mad/sad. doesnt she know that weather you give the ring back or keep it she has just creates HUGE problems w/her future daughter-in-law. if i were in this situation i would leave it up to joe & try & remain as supportive & loving towards him as possible,he must be even more upset & frustrated than you are. just remember act like a women who still has the courage to be kind & tolerant.
2006-09-08 22:31:11 · answer #8 · answered by heartichoke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joe was wrong. Just give the ring back to Joe's mom. Let him explain.
2006-09-08 20:44:40 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It was extremely rude of her to do that... but I have to agree with Carole.... She will eventually be family (whether you like it or not) so its best to play nice.... Good luck for the future, I'm sure it will all work out alright.... Love shall prevail!
2006-09-08 21:48:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋