As a Christian Husband, I am to love my wife as"Christ Loved the Church". This means divorce is no option?

Question

First, I am not planning on divorcing my wife now or ever; however, my marriage for the first 14 years was very unhappy.Its a long story.Staying faithful has not been easy, but I have always placed that as my highest priority.The last 6 years of my marriage has been somewhat better.With God's help, I have stayed the course and will always be here for my wife and kids until the good Lord calls me home. I realize that unfaithfullness is always a qualification for divorce. But the reality of life seems to be that many more men cheat on their wives than wives ever do on their husbands. My wife has been faithful to me. So with Gods help I must always be faithful to her. But a marriage that lacked "passion" was not what I had expected and has left me wishing for more. Counseling helped about 5 years ago. Prior to that my wife thought the problem was with me not excepting the way she wanted things to be. But the simple things I wanted were things like wanting to kiss her lips and neck. Help?

Answer 1

I don't know exactly what the two of who have been through or what you have tried, but it sounds like you just need to talk - to communicate your wishes and desires. Tell her all the simple things you want and expect. Ask what she wants out of the marriage and try to meet her needs. Work together to make the marriage work. A marriage is a union of two people, so you have to work as a team. You have to take every opportunity to make your marriage a way of life you both enjoy - and you cannot have opportUNITY without UNITY.

Answer 2

Perhaps a return to the time you were courting her would help. Do you still do the little things to please her, i.e. open doors, compliments, etc?
As for the last line about kissing, don't be offended but, how's your breath? No need to answer, but just do a personal assessment.
Here is something to share with her:

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainl! y there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Answer 3

Well, have you thought about how God leves HIs church? what was he willing to give for it? Has He ever given up on it?

I have often heard it said that if a man truely loves his wife as God loved the church.... there would be no divorces.

Love is not purely physical... especially for women.

There are not enough details nor am I qualified to counsel you on this.

Answer 4

Talk to her...she doesn't want you to kiss her? Ask her why. Maybe she's shy or something. 14 years without passion is too long. You can possibly get an annullment if you are done trying...but if you want to keep trying ask her why she doesn't want the passion. BTW you would get more helpful answers in the singles and dating or marriage section, but I did my best...

Answer 5

Hebrews 13 : 4 - 5..... ( Marriage is honorable in all , and the bed undefiled : but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge ) ( Let your conversation be without covetousness ; and be content with such things that ye have : for he hath said , I WILL NEVER LEAVE THEE , NOR FORSAKE THEE ) ....... ................... 2 Corinthians 5 : 17 .. ( Therefore if any man be in Christ , he is a new creature : old things are passed away ; behold , all things are become new . )

Answer 6

We as humans make mistakes and I don't believe God wants us to suffer from them. He doesn't expect us to stay in bad marriages. I know I picked the wrong partner. I didn't let God have a chance to help me in my choice. It is like any other sin we commit and ask forgiveness for. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

The remainder of the verse is "and gave his life for it." Thirty-six years and counting, the passion left a long time ago. God does not allow you to endure more than you can handle.

Answer 8

Unless she is unfaithful or leaves you then no divorce under the churches official guidelines however a few dollars will always find a way to get you an annulment...

Answer 9

You sound like a very self sacrificeing indivual and know god will bless your decision. Your children will thank you.
Stay the course no marriage is perfect.

Answer 10

I feel for you and your situation. Have you done all that you can to interest your wife? I fear she does not realize the harm she does by not meeting your needs. I believe that I am responsible for meeting my husbands needs to the best of my ability and he is responsible for the same towards me.