Willys cynical thought for the fugging day,
I never explain sh*t; my friends will not need the explanation and my enemies will not believe it. I have enough of both don't need any more... So why waste time?
9 TYPES OF BOYFRIENDS
1. Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, okay?"
Also Known As: Mr. Nice Guy, Family Man, Honey, Darling, Snugglepup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy
2. Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
Also Known As: Grumbles, Sour-Puss, Stick-in-the-Mud, Old Fogey, Jerk
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Pain in the ***
3. Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
Also Known As: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle
4. Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'."
Also Known As: Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, The Hulk
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig
5. Lazybones - "Zzzzzz"
Also Known As: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Hobo, Bum, Sleepyhead
Advantages: Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams
6. The Sneak - "Who, me?"
Also Known As: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, SOB
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life
7. Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels."
Also Known As: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova
Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused
8. The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--"
Also Known As: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Story Teller, Fool"
Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"
9. Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht."
Also Known As: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-09-08 13:07:18 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
From; Willys Jokes archives! Phucking Phunniest Jokes Available!
2006-09-08 13:07:36 · update #1
I'm pretty sure I have a lazybones/dreamer....comes home from his job, where he rides around in a golf cart! flops on the couch and does NOTHING but tell me how hard his job is! I'm a nurse who cares for mentally handicapped children...i work 12 hour days, then I do dinner, and dishes, and laundry, and COLLAPSE! instead of sex, he sleeps. When he is awake he's telling me all about how someday he's going to be a famous football coach!
2006-09-08 13:26:53 · answer #1 · answered by Laurie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have #1.
2006-09-08 13:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by Caribbean Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see the problem. He tells you he is going out, you know where he is, and he wants to spend that time committing to being with his friends and the game. Men don't like to be texting and calling you while they are out, and your demanding this appears too needy and annoying. The fact that you claim that he can only be doing something bad if he goes out for the day is pretty sad in and of itself. If you can't accept that he has these friend days now and then, end the relationship.
2016-03-27 03:26:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm A straight man so I don't have a boy friend....
BUT I DO HAVE A WIFE!!
At least men have 1 of 9 distinctly identifiable personalities. My wife has three regular personalities and 10-12 more that pop out once a month; possibly just to torture me!
2006-09-08 13:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had number 6
2006-09-08 13:13:36 · answer #5 · answered by kira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guy is a 9..sorry to all you the ladies that were stuck with 2-6
2006-09-08 13:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by ajd1bmf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got number 7 the ace of hearts!There is nothing wrong with someone whos perpetually aroused..plus I like my handyman ^_^
2006-09-08 13:36:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love it when women think their sexism isn't sexism.
Your list puts guys down for being 'wimpy' if they are 'too nice'...and suggests that a man must be wealthy enough to own a yacht and servants to be 'perfect'.
For shame.
2006-09-08 13:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
2, 8, 9.
2006-09-08 13:10:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what about no. 10
The TV Sports fanantic- I am going to watch football it does not matter who is playing and then I am going to watch more football.
Also known as- joe billy, king of the remote, sperm donar father
Advantages- if you keep him in snacks and beer, you are free to do anything you want to do.
Disadvantages- if you keep him in snacks and beer, you are free todo anything you want to do.
2006-09-08 16:00:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋