There's this guy that I've been talking to and am about to date, he's way older than me. He's 42 and I'm 19. Some of you may wonder what the hell am I doing with this guy but I'm really crazy about him I've never felt like this about anyone in my entire life. The thing is I'm just worried about how my dad is gonna react when he finds out. I don't wanna keep it a secret but I'm afraid he's gonna freak out like my friends did.
How would you react if you were my dad? Do you think I'm crazy for liking this guy?
2006-09-08 12:13:46 · 44 answers · asked by Coco 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
slap some sense in ya head
2006-09-08 12:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by mørbidsшεεŧnεss 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If I were your dad, I would be very concerned, now I know you like this guy but you have to understand the worry he would have for you, with him being that much older and more experienced. Any Dad would probobly be a little skeptical!!.
I think after you tell him you will feel alot better, now your dad on the other hand, he might be a little touchy on the subject for a while but im sure if this guy is a good guy and everything he will get over it, just wait until your dad has time to settle it into his head, and maybe bring the guy over to meet your dad so he knows that he is an okay guy and that he isnt out to harm his little girl. Thats how I would feel, however maybe your dad wont take it so hard.
I dont think your crazy, I think it might be a little bit old, but Im not the type to judge if he makes you happy, and you feel right and it's in your heart, then by all means go for it, just be careful!
2006-09-08 12:17:39 · answer #2 · answered by Lyssa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL YOUR 19 YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT.....
your dad will shiit himself and have a heart attack.
I know when my sister insisted on dating this guy who was 27 at the time and she was 17. she wouldnt even tell my parents how old he was. i had to do! lets hear it for the little sister!
anyway,yeah yeah heard it all before. oh this guy makes me feel special and all that bullshiit! let me tell you something. doesnt matter how old you are the novelty of you being a trophy will wear off for this guy and he will just think he can get someone younger and younger and so on. You will have to put yourself through hell and back to be on your toes to look the best for a man who only wants a TROPHY! YES it is every mans dream to have a trophy of a wife or gf. Remember to ask about his past. divorced? and why was he divorced. there is always 2 sides to a story.
To all the older and wiser women out here in america we have a rule dating older men. over 35 and no marriage>> means a red flag. over 35 and divorced >> red flag. so those are all warning signs with a older man. so I am not to sure why I am giving you advice because if I know a 19 yr old girl she will just do what she wants and find out the hard way.
uh so good luck to you and the telling the father about a man who is probally the same age as him!
2006-09-08 12:25:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The concern you have shouldn't be about your father. It should be able what this man could possibly have in common with you. Who you are at 19 is not who you will be in 5, 10, 20 years. You are just embarking down a path that this gentleman has been on for years. If he just looking for a fling, you'll feel used. But, if he is looking for someone for the long haul, you may want to consider how you'll feel when you are 29 and he is over 50. Age is just a number and granted there are some things that an older man can offer in terms of experience, respect and maturity that guys your age can rarely even fathom yet. Its easy to be intoxicated by that. If you are just having fun, then don't worry about your dad. If this is serious, then really think things over and introduce it to your father only when positive.
2006-09-08 12:25:41 · answer #4 · answered by Peace Frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the parent of adult children that are all married...I am also single.
So, speaking from both sides of the equation is something I think I can safely do.
From the POV of a parent I would not be happy at all about what you are doing. Despite what you think you are not a fully mature adult. You are a young adult. Being young you are still not mature enough to realize the difference between love and lust. What you are feeling is called "chemistry" and it is the result of a hormone that causes us to feel lust. It is NOT love. I would tell you these things out of my concern that you not make a mistake that can affect the rest of your life. You have a child with this man and you are stuck in a relationship of one kind or another for the rest of your life!! Next, if you are still determined to do this I would insist of pre-marital counseling being the price of my support and blessing of you going on with the relationship.
This relationship has only a slim possibility of working because as you grow up the differences between you because of age will become a problem. You will change as you grow.
As an older single person I don't/wont ever date someone more that 10 years younger and that is really too much for me. Nearly all the guys I have ever gone out with are about 5 years younger/older than me. Age does make a difference...I speak from experience.
2006-09-08 15:28:22 · answer #5 · answered by Corkie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I do not know your feelings so I hope I do not offend.
This man you are intending on dating (lets call him Bob), he is old enough to be your father. There are several things that I think that you could do and I have lsited them below.
1.) I think you need to make a list of all of the things that attact you to Bob and judge them as objectively as possible.
2.) Write down what you hope to get from the realtionship. Are you just going to date? Is it going to develop into something permanent?
3.) If you are looking for something permanent are you prepared to be married or in a defacto relationship with a 53 year old when you are 30 or with a 73 year old when you are 50? Age gaps become more pronounced as you get older.
4.) List the reasons that you think that your Dad would freak out and try and give an answer to cancel out those fears.
5.) This is most important. Really think about it, not just with your feelings, with your head, which is why I listed the previous activities.
Only you can make the right decision, but consider the decision before you make it because as you are aware, this decision affects more than just you and Bob, it is going to affect your family, your friends, his family, his friends. Is Bob going to be happy to hang out with a bunch on 19 year olds or is he going to end up saying that your friends are immature? Be careful not to lose your young years being in an 'older' relationship.
I wish you all the best in which ever decision you make.
2006-09-08 12:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by Just John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you immature or what. This is ridiculous. Think if your dad came home with your best friend on a date and announced they were together. What would you think? Or think of YOU at 42. Would you lower yourself by being with a teenager?
He's into you because of sex. Your into him because he gives you tons of attention and tells you what you want to hear. I'm 39 and I would be bored with a teenager; and you still live at home as well and havent' any experience in anything? This is as disfunctional as it gets. Sounds magical.
If I was your dad I'd kick your dumb 19 year old butt out the door and say, I love you but I'm not supporting this financially, emotionally, or physically.
Grow up and start living your life. If not, please call 1-800-Maury or 1-800-Dr Phil. You need help.
There's nothing dumber than a teenage girl when it comes to men/boys.
2006-09-08 12:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by Ice4444 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If he's 42, working at Pizza Hut, living in a trailer park and looks stoned all the time, then I would threaten him and kick him out of my house. If he's 42, the CEO of his own tech company, owns several homes and is pleasant and presentable, then I would just threaten him.
I would think that the old boy was trying to use my daughter for sex only. So I would let the guy know, in a subtle way, that I'm not one of those warm and fuzzy types.
2006-09-08 12:23:22 · answer #8 · answered by eddygordo19 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What in heaven name would a girl at 19 have in common with a 42 years old man? Is he some sugar daddy? If I where you stop and think before you make trouble for yourself here. There is a huge generation gap here. Your just starting out in life he done all that. So when your in your mid 30s he be in his mid 50s think about all this.
2006-09-08 12:21:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell, I was exactly in your situation, Only difference was the guy was 47 yr.old and I 19. Honestly your family could see him as some sort of perv or he's just using you. Go out with him for like a couple of weeks or a month and see if it works out. You don't want to defy your parents and then when you break up then you would live the rest of your life with your parents telling you I told you so. I am
2006-09-08 12:19:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand liking him, but dating him is wrong. As wonderful as you are, what's the deal with a 42 year old man that he has no more depth and maturity than a 19 year old? And, in public, people will mistake you for his daughter.
Suppose it "worked out" and you two married. He will be old enough to retire when you are just 42! Trust me, 42 is young to be with a senior citizen.
2006-09-08 12:16:49 · answer #11 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋