Help with getting my son to sleep?

Question

I have a 2 year old son he is always full of energy i love him more than this world but it is a nightmare trying to get him to go to bed at night. If i put him to bed awake he screams for ages and makes himself ill. If anyone has any tips i could really do with the help

Answer 1

Put a little brandy in his bottle that you should have taken away from him 1 year ago!

Answer 2

Your son sounds like my grandson. He is very active, very energetic, and his mom and dad have had some bedtime problems with him, but have sorted it now.

You have had some good answers from some people - establishing evening routines, calming activities such as a bath, etc. The main thing is to establish a plan and stick with it.

You will first need to break the habit he has now, which will be the hardest part - on you as well as him. Here is the routine my daughter and son-in-law put into place with my grandson and it has worked, though it took a little determination at first.

Let him run around and be a little wild and wooly for about 20 minutes before you start the bedtime routines. That lets him work off a little steam. Continue to a bath and spend a little time with him. Then do the toothbrushing, diaper change, potty, and into pyjamas. Then play a quiet little game and have a chat about the day or whatever makes sense. Possibly take him around the house to say good night to things - puppy, toys, etc. for a few minutes. If he likes being read to let him choose a book to have read to him. Sing a quiet song and play some quiet music. Say good night, turn off the light, and leave a night light on.

This routine is described at the first link and has worked with my grandson. It took about a week to get him settled - he cried a LOT the first couple of nights.

These sites should help. Best of luck with it.

Answer 3

I can totally feel your frustrastion. I have experienced the same exact thing. First of all, it is going to get better. My son is now 5 yrs. old. He would not go to bed without me. He would cry scream until he vommit or worse have an asthma attack. The doctors were no help suggested putting my 18 month old on sleeping pills. Finanlly I found a group of mothers that could help. You should start by a strict schedule. Weather or not he goes to sleep stick to the schedule. Secondly, even though it is hard, let him cry for awhile. If he gets out of bed put him back to bed. The first week will be hard. Eventually when he realizes you are not going to give in he will adjust . Also, before bedtime stick to a routine either by reading him a book or a warm bath. Something that helps to calm him down and sooth him. I've learned from other mothers that children do very well with routines. It was so hard for me to start making my son sleep in his own bed. because the only way I could get him to sleep was laying down in my bed with him. Not good for the marriage. Good Luck ! It is going to get better please e-mail me if you need anything!

Answer 4

Ideally, you should decide on a time you want him to go to bed by and start a 'wind down' routine 30 minutes or an hour before this.

Perhaps let him have a warm bath, then get him to snuggle up in bed and read him a story. Once you've said goodnight the rule should be that he can't leave his bedroom unless it's for a reason such as going to the toilet (if out of nappies) This doesn't mean that he has to go to sleep straight away. He could have some story tapes to listen to, or more books to read, but nothing more exciting or stimulating than that.

Even if it takes him hours to get to sleep initially, if you insist that he stays quietly in his bedroom, at least you will be getting a chance to relax yourself.

If he comes and interrupts you, you should put him back to bed immediately. If he cries or screams to be allowed out of his bedroom you have to be firm and insist that bed is where he stays. He has to learn that you mean business, so sticking rigidly to your plan is all-important.

It may help to build rewards for him into the plan – for example, setting up a star chart somewhere in the house and giving him a gold star for every night that he stays in his room without creating a fuss. You might also give him some kind of 'treat' after two or three good nights.

Answer 5

Have a quiet hour before you prepare him for bed. Bath him, nice warm drink and then put him to bed. Try the "pick up, put down" routine as shown on The Baby Whisperer programme, it really works. Each time he gets out of bed or cries, pick him up and pat him but don't speak to him - just keep putting him back down. After about 3 nights he'll sleep right through. A routine is a must though, no matter how much hard work it is it will be worth it in the end.

Answer 6

My son is 5 now but yours sounds like mine at that age. I found that setting a routine for him really helped a lot and make him a big part of all the things in that routine. What I mean is start with a good warm bath have him help get things ready for that bath,,PJ's underwear, towels etc.During the bath sing quiet songs talk softly to him don't let him jump around after the bath offer a warm sippy cup of milk, sit down with him and read him a story. Now he is probable going to still cry and fuss that takes time, you can go in an reassure him your still there but do not hold or remove him from his bed or crib. The rule Ive heard is 5 minutes each time you go in so first time wait 5 minutes, then 10 so on and so on, my son would lay down after his story and I sometimes stayed with him till he fell asleep, but then I had to ween him off that lol. Good luck and Here's to sleep filled nights

Answer 7

My son (2) occasionally flips the psychotic switch when bedtime arrives. Whether it's a good thing or not I put a television in his room and put something like Blues Clues, Dora, etc. in long enough for him to get preoccupied with the show and begin to relax. After a little while I'll turn the TV off and more times than not he will dose off. Now there have been a couple of times this didn't work out quite that easy but I would lay in bed with him and this would comfort him enough to relax and fall asleep. I've heard of people just sitting quietly next to their child as he/she screams like a banshee until what I gather they just tire themselves out. The parent sets close by where the child could see them thus offering some sort of comfort zone for the toddler and after 45 minutes of mind numbing screams they wear themselves out and fall asleep. Well the h*ll with that I'll pick the old reliable TV every-time.

Answer 8

Perhaps I might be spoiling my son. But I had this problem also, untill I discovered he really wanted me or his mummy to stay with him whilst he was falling asleep. So now aprox. 4 out of 7 nights I or my wife take 10 minutes to get in the bed with him untill he is calmed down. We say now go to sleep and he sleeps like an angel untill WE wake him up. He is 4. It helps that he has a double bed for himself but anyway you could try this by letting him fall asleep in your bed and than put him in his own. I know some will say it's not good and we are spoling him at least we have some 10 minutes quiet time with him and he sleeps like an ox.

Answer 9

He should not be allowed to nap during the day.Keep him busy from morning till bed-time and he will tire out.You will tire out,too.But if you put him on routine,like same time get up in the morning,breakfast,then off to the running of the errands,like taking him shopping,pay bills,playtime,then lunch,after lunch spread a blanket on the livingroom floor and let him do activies like blocks or coloring,quiet time,then fill his afternoon with play and activities,then it's suppertime,after supper,playtime outside with mom and dad,warm bath,non sugar snack,then off to bed with a story and maybe leave a night lite on for him and for a few nights you might have to stand outside the door to keep him in his room but eventually he will poop himself out.The crying is because he can and if he keeps getting away with it,you will always have a hard time getting him to go to bed.Good Luck,i really hopes this helps.Give the little guy lots of credit when he does go to bed for you.Like even use a sticker board and show him so many stickers and you will take him out for ice cream,he has to earn each sticker and then he will be rewarded.

Answer 10

I have had 4 kids and each was different, they all have their own needs. At 2yrs they can understand a 'little' bit of reasoning, try to tell him what a big boy he is, make his bedtime fun but relaxing, talk to him all the time saying what is going to happen, eg; when we have had dinner, mummy is going to put you in the bath, we will play for 5mins, get dry, have a story, a cuddle then it's sleep time for you. Follow it through whatever you decide is best, after a week a routine he recognises set by you will be in place. I learned the hard way, it took me 2 children, coaxing etc; routine is best, you are not cruel if your child cries, you know he's breathing, that's the BEST advice I was given!!! my next 2 children were a breeze!!

Answer 11

Start a routine that you follow every night. Start with a warm bath, get some of that yummy smelling lavander bath wash and lotion. After you get him in his jammies, have some calm time in his bed. This is a great time to read to your son. Then calmly sing a song. Let him know that he is a big boy and he can sleep in his bed when it is bed time.
Also you might want to cut back on his naps, if any, or increase his outdoor play during the day. That way he is tired when his little head hits that pillow.