Controlling parents?..... someone help?

Question

i'm 19 years old and i still live with my parents
my mom controls where i go, when i see my boyfriend, and when they get up in the morning to go to work my mom always makes me go stay with my grandparents or aunts & uncles house
she also didn't allow me to get my license when i was 16 but she let me have my learner's permit when i was 17 and she also will not let me drive any of their vehicles or she will not help me out with anything and i just really need some help and advice on what i should do or give me some hotline phone number i could call for help

Answer 1

You are 19 years old - move out of your parent's house!! If you can't afford to live on your own, talk to a close friend or a close family member and see if you can get some help/live with them until you can get a job and get on your own 2 feet. The way your parents are making it - you will never be able to get out on your own because they won't let you drive and they control everything you do.

Answer 2

Are you in college or university? You don't sound as if you work at all, do you? Have you violated your parents' trust in some way and that's why they make you go to your grandparents?

If you are in Canada , you're a legal adult and you can move out on your own.

You've told us alot of things they won't let you do, but you haven't told us what you do , around the house or to show your parents that you are responsible , mature and reliable.

You sound pretty whiny actually for someone who is 19!

Is there some other reason you can't be left alone you haven't mentioned?

Start taking some responsibility around the house. Offer to help with the housework. Go to Human Resources Development Center if you're in Ontario and find a job -full time or part time and stick with it so your parents can see you're capable of so much more than whining. Give them a certain percentage of your pay for room and board, groceries etc.

You will get treated in a more fair adult manner when you start actually acting like an adult.

Answer 3

I think that it is time for you to move out of the house and away from your mom if you have controlling parents that are stopping you from doing what you want to do. If not then maybe you should sit down with your parents and tell them how you feel, it can't hurt. But going to your grandmothers house when they aren't home is a bit ridiculous you are old enough to stay home on your own. Do you live in an area with a high crime rate or something?

Answer 4

That sounds like a tough situation. My best suggestion is to sit down with your parents and talk to them, and by that I don't mean yell at them for being controlling because that's only going to make things worse. Maybe you should research information on problems children have when the parents are too controlling and maybe try to think of some new guidelines because whether they want to face it or not you aren't a child anymore. Also letting them know what you are doing will help them trust you more which will hopefully lead to them loosing up some. It's time your parents realized that and started treating as more of an adult. I hope this helps at all.

Answer 5

OK first of all your 19 so go out and get a job your an adult. Second of all you need to buy your own car not use your parents your an adult. If you want to be treated like an adult try acting accordingly.Adults don't sit around on a comp and ask for a way to get free bee's they get off their backsides and go out and simply just do it they don't ask permission they don't have to. Let me warn you being an adult means you will have to suffer the consequences and sometimes they aren't all that great but you get to do what ever you want and make all kinds of choices all on your own. Grow up and join the human race.

Answer 6

hey, how are ya? you know i came from a similar background. My parents were very very strick with me, considering that i am the only girl, out of 3 boys. I am also the youngest. So i had plenty of trouble, i would get out of college, at 4pm i was expected home no less than 4:30pm or else. I was 17 at that time, then i turned 18 years old, and things just got worst. I had my first boyfriend who i am currently with now, (i am turning 21 in oct) and it was insane. I had to do what i had to do. but this i wont tell you, you need to sit and have a professional mature conversation with your parents. I now this sounds tough, especially if you are spanish or if you come from a different background, then american people. You just need to say what you feel and hope they will change. Number one thing is, you need to prove to them that you are a young women now and you are mature. Thats my advice.

Answer 7

When you are 18 you are a legal adult in America. I think you should move out of your parent's home and start you new life. First get your friend to let you stay with them for a little bit until you find a job and get your own apartment. If you don't have a car, there is ridesharing program. Or you can ride a bike or something. Or have your friend give you a ride.

Answer 8

Have you given your parents any reason to not trust you? Like have you thrown parties while they were away without their permission? or Lyed about who you were with and what you doing? Do you have a job and try to help with some of the bills? At 19 yrs. old you can at least have a job. It doesn't sound like they are controlling over you. It sounds more like they are controling over their home and belongings. Maybe think about finding your own place. You are an adult so they can't tell you not to leave.

Answer 9

Well, to start with if you're 19 and living at home, do you have a job? If you're in their house you have to live by their rules. Be VERY happy that you have parents who care enough to try and keep you safe. My mom died when I was 14 and I can only wish that she had been around to keep me out of trouble!! If you don't like their rules, then go to work, save some money and move out on your own.

Answer 10

do you have a job?? if you do, you should save money and mooovvve out. also, are you in college? or will you be? if so, go away and live in a dorm. Also, do you have any friends or family you could live with? Try talking to a school counselor or social worker, if your not in school, try just toughing it out and stand up to her. Your an adult and you can do what you want. as long as you arent going crazy, and are being respectful, there is no reason she should control you. Stand up for yourself, and if she kicks you out im sure you;ll have somewhere to go, and if you dont have anywhere to go...get a job, get on some state aid, and take care of your own self.