TEMPLE TREASURY
Do you seek the Temple of the Lord?
His Dwelling Place, told in His Word?
Would you gaze upon His face?
Would you stand within the Holy Place?
Would you look upon His finest treasure,
The thing that brings Him greatest pleasure?
Would you seek Him where He lives today?
In the Inner Sanctum where His children pray?
What glories there would you find?
Great riches of what type and kind?
You'll find no statues, grand and tall,
To make you gaze in silent awe.
You'll find no vaults of silver and gold,
As were in His temple in days of old.
You'll find no soaring works of art…
Only a simple, loving heart.
2006-09-08 11:09:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm thinking of publishing some of these...
Opinions?
Comments?
Suggestions?
2006-09-08 11:10:38 · update #1
That was very beautiful. If you wanna know where to publish your work, I can tell you where to start cause I am doing the same thing. I love writing, I have been doing it for 14 years. You have a gift so keep using it. Great work! Take care and God Bless.
2006-09-08 11:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by curious_boricua_soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting and fascinating. I am a pastor and have probably read more books than there are letters in the poem. I've never seen this sentiment expressed. Kudos for originality.
You have some misrimed lines that disrupt the reader's feelings. I think especially of the first one Lord/word.
You might want to look at some other forms of punctuation such as semi-colon to tie riming lines. The question marks grow a tad wearisome.
Finally, free verse can be tricky for the reader. Really growl and grimace and cut every unnecessary word to even out the lines.
Blessings on your publishing efforts. You have a unique eye.
2006-09-08 11:16:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The content of this poem is amazingly shifting, there are countless surprising rhymes and the countless traces are properly written. in actuality this is already sturdy adequate that IMHO, with a splash remodel it must be better. How many times have you ever study the poem out loud? IMHO, the rhyme scheme you could artwork for all in the time of the poem is the 4-3-4-3 you placed up so precise in the 1st stanza. as quickly as you have an entire poem crammed with 4-3-4-3 stanzas, you could have long gone from a sturdy poem to an surprising one. desire this facilitates. terrific needs.
2016-10-14 11:36:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was very nice, especially the end, only a simple, loving heart. Very nice and very special. You should publish your poems. Good luck if you do. They'll be read by many.
2006-09-08 11:18:23 · answer #4 · answered by jepa8196 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Job! Yes get them published, hopefully it will give the world more loving hearts,as there are few out there.God Bless.
2006-09-08 11:16:39 · answer #5 · answered by wallsuds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad, actually. I'm not a Christian so it doesn't resonate with me, but it's simple and has a basic message. I think if you are serious about devotional poetry, you might be inspired by William Blake.
2006-09-08 11:18:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice. but it sounded like pirates of the carribean 2..u kno heart in the chest, the treasure?
2006-09-08 11:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by xapao 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think brainwashed drones such as yourself would love it. Good luck spreading the disease of intolerance and hate that you people cling to with such strength.
2006-09-08 11:20:51 · answer #8 · answered by John D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm...... nice
lovely concept, but d flow is missing, i guess it comes with practise
y dun u read elegy written in a country churchyard- Thomas grey
might help u undertsand what i mean by d flow!!
cheers
2006-09-08 11:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by Toshika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it...i think it's very beautiful...great job, and yes i would try to publish if i were you...
2006-09-08 11:12:51 · answer #10 · answered by I♥him 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋