Never give up,
Look to the skies,
Never lose hope,
Send up your cries.
You are a jewel.
Precious and rare.
Hold to your peace.
Please know I care.
Strength will be yours.
To meet every need.
Wishing you joy,
And happiness indeed
2006-09-08 10:32:03 · 18 answers · asked by Debra M. Wishing Peace To All 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It is simplistic yes. I wrote it yesterday in response to a question were the person was depressed and seeking reinforcement. I hope he found it and that this poem did not have a detrimental effect.
2006-09-08 10:36:14 · update #1
Debra,
I think you are a person who thinks very deeply and you have a poetic gift. The thoughts in this poem are compassionate ones and I am sure that they would be encouraging to the person you wrote this poem for. Because I do think you have a gift, I would like to help you by giving you a little feedback -- which consists of advising you to have faith in your insights and the power of your words and don't rely on traditional (predictable) rhyme schemes. I've seen your free verse and it reads much better. In this poem there is sometimes a sense that you have forced a rhyme which ends up making your words seem unnatural and as I think one person here already said, a bit commercialized or like a greeting card. I'm not saying to give up rhyme, but try to find other ways of using it.
Now, this comment was certainly not meant to ruin your day, so I hope I did not hurt your feelings. I took the time to write this because I think highly of your thinking and expression and feel that you have potential -- in fact, I'd love to see more of your work in the future!
And you know, it seems to me that it is a very wonderful thing that someone (you!) in this crazy troubled world would take the time to write a poem to help a discouraged person -- if only we all could be so sensitive, caring, and giving, the world would be a much better place.
Blessings, pw
2006-09-08 11:21:58 · answer #1 · answered by Ponderingwisdom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I enjoyed it for a couple reasons. It's relatively short and to the point, but it still effectively expresses emotion and gets your point across. Also I really enjoy poetry that reads (for lack of a better word) simply. There is no pompous attempt to use too much bombastic language and I like that. To me, these are the best poems that make for the easiest reading. And ignore those who inevitably bash your poem when you post it on Answers. If they really were worth listening to, they'd have more to say than "this sucks" or "lame". I applaud you for your courage as well as your work.
2006-09-08 17:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweet
2006-09-08 17:36:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Inspiring
2006-09-08 17:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by Ray 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It would look nice on a plaque in a little girl's room. It's lovely, but in a commercial sort of way.
2006-09-08 17:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by ©2007 answers by missy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not Poe, but it's on par with Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.
2006-09-08 17:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by millancad 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's... what's the word... trite? It sounds more like an ad jingle than a serious poem.
2006-09-08 17:38:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds a bit like a greeting card. Did you write it?
2006-09-08 17:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Trite, pedestrian, zero sense of cadence or meter, no use of imagery - congratulations. You can write for Hallmark Cards.
2006-09-08 17:35:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It is beautiful!!!! I liked it so much that I saved it! Did you write it or did you just copy and paste work from another artist? If it's someone else's then please e-mail their name to me!
-Wiccan Teen
Added details: you have a gift!
2006-09-08 17:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by Seeker 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋