It is a combo wedding/birthday party (the grooms son) it is at their home, and they are asking everyone to bring a dish to pass. I thought this was completely corny. Money is not an issue here, they are not rich, but they are ok in that department. Why should I (or anyone for that matter) Buy a wedding present, buy his son a gift (I barely know him because he lives with his mom in another state) and bring a dish to their wedding/birthday party. Am I being coldhearted? How do I turn down this invitation? If I am being coldhearted please tell me and I will hold my tongue and go. Thanks!
2006-09-08 10:30:58 · 22 answers · asked by Jaded 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thanks for all the great answers, I have decided to respectfully decline and send a gift card for the whole family to enjoy.
PS. The offer for a visit to Colorado made me laugh so hard! Thanks for making me smile!
2006-09-08 14:14:41 · update #1
I don't think you are being cold-hearted. If you don't want to go, send your regrets.
Feel free to tell them you are coming to my house. I assure you Colorado is beautiful anytime of year. I promise to not be offended if you don't show up. ; )
2006-09-08 10:48:26 · answer #1 · answered by tantiemeg 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have never heard of a wedding where the guests were required to bring the food. Its a wedding, not a pot-luck dinner. They're the hosts, so they should provide the food. Could you imagine how much food would be there? Even if the total number of guests was only 50, that would still be a lot. Sounds to me like they're being cheap. Food for a wedding can be expensive. How do the other people who were invited feel about the situation? I really don't think many people would show up. If they do, no one is going to bring a gourmet meal. Most of them will probably show up with some KFC or a cooked frozen dinner like lasagna. I wouldn't go. Just tell them you have plans to go visit a relative that week but you will try to make it. So when you don't show up they will know why. Just make sure you are away that week. Send a wedding gift but not a birthday gift. There's no reason why you need to buy a birthday gift for a person you barely know. Just send a card. If he doesn't seem grateful for that, then he is selfish.
2006-09-08 18:01:18 · answer #2 · answered by nc_girl2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to go, just politely decline the invitation. I think that since this is a home wedding, they are keeping it intimate and warm by asking everyone bring a dish. It is easier than trying to get everything ready for a reception and alot more "homey". As for a gift for the son you don't know....just a card is fine.
2006-09-08 18:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by MrsMike 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to concentrate on the couple and the beginning of their married lives. Would you like to share in their happiness? If so, quit complaining and think of one gift that the family might enjoy like camping equipment or memory boxes. You might even have fun coming up with a creative idea.
If, on the other hand, you prefer attending weddings for their entertainment value - politely decline and hold out for a formal reception.
2006-09-08 18:00:27 · answer #4 · answered by many fish in the sea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're really close the person than I say you should go, maybe get the son a gift card, and make something simple and easy for a dish. If you've been apart from the person for many years than you could tell them you're busy or something. Hope you figure out what to do. God Bless!
2006-09-08 17:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by Loved By Someone Above 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a bit much.
Buy the son a gift and take a food dish to the wedding with a card as 'congratulations'.
It would be mean not to go to the function simply because you don't agree with the demands for gifts.
2006-09-08 18:43:29 · answer #6 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, but how about this idea: Get them a gift card. I don't know you're pocket so I wouldn't speculate on the amount, but the idea behind the gift card is that they can get something for them and their son themselves with one card. Now, about that dish. I had that happen to me this summer and I was a bridesmaid. When I asked who was bringing what so that we wouldn't duplicate dishes, the bride (and her mother whose house this wedding was held) looked at me and said "I don't know". I went to Aldi's. Bought 2 bags of lettuce, 1 bag of chicken strips, 1 container of cherry tomatoes, 2 cucumbers and 4 different bottles of salad dressing. It was the most popular dish there, and spent less than $20.00 total on it. (I would've spent less, but the chicken is $7.99 per bag). Hope this helps.
2006-09-08 17:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by dct1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's plain tacky first of all to request their guests to bring food/ and to combine wedding/birthday party together. If your not too close to the bride and groom you could just tell them you've made other plans and wish them luck on their upcoming marriage. You could either mail them their gift or pass on it. If you do decide to go you don't have to by a gift for the bride and groom AND for the son too. I say forget it. It's just too damn tacky and rude.
2006-09-08 17:39:16 · answer #8 · answered by drbriscoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Respectfully R.S.V.P. with an "unable to attend" and send a wedding gift to the couple. You shouldn't have to send a birthday present to the groom's son as you don't know him that well (I am assuming that you don't have children his age that might know him), and you probably won't see him while he's here.
2006-09-08 18:03:34 · answer #9 · answered by The Guru 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're that upset over the invitation, then do not go.
They thought highly of you enough to invite you, so just tell them you have to work or you have to see your family or you could just not lie and tell her, I'm sorry but I can't make it but I appreciate the invitation. Get them a gift card for like $25 dollars, just for respect. If you think about it, you spend that much on new shampoo.
2006-09-08 17:41:26 · answer #10 · answered by bridetobebrandie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you're coldhearted. I can relate to your issue. Just respectfully decline and say that you have to be out of town or you have prior engagement that you can't break.
2006-09-08 17:37:03 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋