I'm going to be married in october to a man I love very much but here is the thing.He is very controling and jealous. He has taken my cell phone away and I'm only allowed to use it if he's around. He took the phone because he doesn't like me haveing to talk to my ex-husband. The only reason I have to talk to my ex is because we have kids toghether. And I had to send my kids to live with my ex because of my future husbands behavior. So anybody Please help! Do I marry him or go back home with my kids?
2006-09-08 10:17:43 · 30 answers · asked by Egyptain 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Go back home with your kids. This man doesn't truly love you or he would respect you as a person and trust you. You and your ex have kids and that means that to some degree you will always be connected to him. Any man that can't understand that and understand that it is important for the good of your kids is a fool. If this man is already so controlling and jealous, it will only get worse once you marry him and as the years go by. Do yourself and your kids a favor and end this relationship. I know you can find a man out there who will respect you and trust you and love you as well.
2006-09-08 10:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think that you know what you should do if you are asking this question..... There is not man in the world that is better that your kids. Go back with your kids. You will find a relationship with a man that will respect every bit of you inside and out more than this controlling man can. This man has so much control over you, you actually believe that you love him. Once you find someone else you will realize you never really loved this person but were afraid of what would happen if you moved on with your life and so you make yourself believe that you are in love. I have been there. Been beaten to a pulp with a man like that. This man is obsessed with you not in love with you. You cant be in a relationship like that. Ask yourself who you love more your kids or this man because your kids im sure need you and if you stay with this man. Who knows how long they will have you. Please for the sake of your kids go back to them. They need you....
2006-09-08 17:27:44 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough question! But I am sure that you have an answer in your heart before posting this question. Such decision should be made by yourself but I guess you are just hoping to get some assurance from people on what you are about to do and probably blame on someone when things do not turn out good.
Responsibility is the keyword. Marriage is a responsibility and so are your kids.
2006-09-09 00:34:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't beleive you even asked this question! Your kids will hate you forever if you choose a man over them! YOu and your kids deserve someone who is loving and understanding of your situation with your ex! Call it off!!! Do you really want to live a life like that? With him taking your cell phone and controlling you??
2006-09-08 17:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are headed for another divorce. Run sweetie! Run!
You are an adult and he's taking away your cell phone?
I'm so happy you were smart enough to keep you children away from this situation. But they will still be affected by it, even if they are not living with you. They need a healthy Mom and that man is Toxic.
2006-09-08 17:44:43 · answer #5 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should consider not marrying this guy. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't act or behave that way toward you. Apparently, he has low self-esteem and he'll have anger issues once you two lived together. Can you even imagine being happy living with him in the future? Shouldn't you be more concern for your children's future? You don't want to live misearbly with someone who controls you. People who are control-freaks will most likely abusive to show you who's got the power.
2006-09-08 17:29:18 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you think that your kids can honestly live with out you? Never put a man in front of your kids. As for your husband, I can't believe that you would want to subject yourself to that behavior, your kids will grow up to think that is okay to treat people like that!
2006-09-08 18:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by denise r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run in the other direction! This man is abusive and I predict that his behavior will excalate to physical violence.
Never marry a man who is a terrible example for and poses physical danger to you or your children.
You need to do much soul-searching to examine your feelings. How can you love a man who acts like he's your jailer?
You'll have life-long regrets if you don't dump him and go back home to your children.
If you need help, contact your local Domestic Abuse Hotline for referral to a counselor.
2006-09-08 17:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by many fish in the sea 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if you can be ok with his behavior for the rest of your life. He will not change. If you're ok with it - there's no harm in marrying him; if you're NOT ok - better get out now, because it will only get worse.
I personally can't even imagine anyone "taking my cell phone away". Anything like this would end the relationship on the spot.
2006-09-08 18:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage doesn't equal change.
I would talk to him and see why he's upset (controlling/jealous) because maybe he doesn't see it as a problem or you may be acting a certain way that upsets him and you don't realize it.
You should always keep your children close because men come and go but you can never rewind the clock to spend more time and attention on your children.
2006-09-08 17:44:39 · answer #10 · answered by bridetobebrandie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋