I am a very independent girl. I've had guys complain in the past that they don't feel needed. I'm so used to doing everything on my own and taking care of everyone that I really have no idea how to make a guy feel needed or wanted. Any suggestions?
2006-09-08 09:18:17 · 13 answers · asked by summerblue722 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop dating needy guys! A guy that is suited for you will also be independent and appreciate your indepenence as well.
2006-09-08 09:20:06 · answer #1 · answered by leezard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the answer is simple and you already know it. The hard part is learning when to put your plan into action. You need to catch yourself when you are doing things that he wants to do for you. Start with the small stuff, like asking him to change the light bulbs. Then gradually start letting him make decisions about things that you normally take charge of. Allowing him to take you out to his favorite restaraunt puts him in the captain's seat and gives him a chance to show you that he can give you a good time. Let him order for you and always let him open the door for you. If he doesn't do that already, train him by standing there and waiting for him to open it. He's gonna have to get use to this new life style as well. If he is so use to you doing everything, then he will most likey let you b/c it isn't worth fighting over most of the time. Don't let him get into that habit, it should be a partnership and you should each have your own roles and duties.
Also, be sure to thank him when he does do stuff for you. That makes it seem like a much bigger deal, and that "you just don't know how you could've gotten it done without him there!!"
2006-09-08 09:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by Aggie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the same way! Now I'm married so it's a little different, but here are some things to consider.
It's not that a guy wants to do everything for you; that would make you high-maintenance. It could be as simple as asking which shoes he likes best, or if he knows about cars, for example, ask him how to change the wiper fluid or something. Even just ask his advice about something, it doesn't matter.
Also, it doesn't have to be tangible things. You could just be excited to see him, drop by his work as a surprise, leave him a note, all those things make guys feel like they're wanted and needed by their girls.
2006-09-08 09:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem as well when i first got married. I had to relinquish some of my independance and start asking for things even if i didn't need help with them. I know my husband felt frustrated that I was so independant but I began asking him to help with things like lifting grocery bags, or getting down things from a high cupboard. It makes him feel needed and appreciated. Besides, when he isn't around you can still do those things on your own. Truth be told- now, I can't imagine tackling some tasks on my own and realize I actually do need him. Being dependant on someone else isn't all bad. It can help to strengthen a relationship.
2006-09-08 09:24:01 · answer #4 · answered by pack513 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
STOP BEING INDEPENDENT!
Think about it. If you are independent then you are of no one else except yourself because that is all you think about---YOUR goals.
I lived in the 80's when "independent" was THE word to be if you were a young woman...problem...independent means to emancipate yourself from "giving and taking" AND to "be an island..."
...what is a relationships basic cause?
The 80's were also a time when 'traditions and norms" were questioned and destroyed." No one could define anyone in anyway or no one could define any human action any way. This has left a void in our society....no traditions.
A: Give and taking!
START LEARNING TO BE INTERDEPENDENT!
2006-09-08 09:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to find a more secure guy.
My wife is very independent. In fact, that is one of the things I love about her. I happen to find capable women very attractive. Our need for one another is more on the emotional level rather than our respective abilities to take care of stuff.
2006-09-08 09:23:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him to my house, I could do with my grass being cut, my rhones cleaning, my car hoovered and washed, a light fitting put up, a kitchen extension, I could keep him busy for the next 20 years no problem.
2006-09-08 09:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by Princess415 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask them to do little things like open a jar of mayo or pickles. Ask to borrow a few dollars every now and then, ask for a back rub saying your back and neck are killing you and ask them to help. There are lots of honey will you do this for me........ thats what they mean and thats what they want. To feel needed. bLessed be
2006-09-08 09:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure. Pick out a few little things to let him be in charge of, and let him handle them when he's around. then let him know how much you appreciate it.
2006-09-08 09:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by Dave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stroke..... his ego. Get your mind out of the gutter!
Men like to feel that they are incharge, even though they are not and want to feel appreciated.
2006-09-08 09:21:00 · answer #10 · answered by on2try 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋