my dad died about a year ago, 2 days after i turned 14. I have 4 sisters and one brother, so naturally my brother took it the worst, in my opinion. My dad and i were very close, he was always there for me. I know teenage girls like myself go to their mother for everything, but my mom and i really dont get along. Most people tell me it is just a phase, and when i graduate and am no longer living in the house, things will change and we will become very close. I dont see that happening. My mom and i get into arguments almost everyday. Mostly because she blames me for every stupid thing she could possibly think of that has happened around the house. Mostly I have no one to vent to and i WILL NOT go to therapy, so when we argue i just yell and scream at her, like she does to me. I need to do something about this situation because now i am getting very strong stress headaches that often brings me to the doctor. Home life gets worse everyday. any suggestions?
2006-09-08 08:49:29 · 9 answers · asked by maureen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i do spend time with her, and on occasion we do get along, i have tried to tell her that when she yells at me she is treating me like a young child and i wish to be more appreciated. She does not listen, and when i want to travel and visit my cousins, who i am very close with, she takes offense saying that i am just anxious to get out of this house away from her, when really i just want to visit with them.
2006-09-08 09:45:49 · update #1
Wow how sad..... You really need to vent, if not to a therapist a relative, friend, pastor or some other person you can trust. It might be hard to find the right person, but it will be worth it if you can get your feelings out now and then and not have to deal with stress and headaches. All the best....
2006-09-08 08:56:59 · answer #1 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry about you dad. Man, I can"t begin to think about my mom or dad being gone. Although my dad an I do argue. Is there a school counselor or a youth director at church you can talk to. A therapist might not be too bad, but i'd go to one that your mom doesn't see. Remember that there are two sides to each story. Side A and Side B and then the middle. Both of you may be trying too hard because of your father's death to see middle. Your whole family is grieving. My mom's mother died last summer and she still has bad day's and my mom is old..just kidding about that. But she is at an age that when parents die it can be expected. I hope you find an outlet besides an on line forum where people don't really know you to vent to. Don't let things get to far out of hand where you can't take back what you say to your mom. Peace and Strength to you and your family.
2006-09-11 15:11:18 · answer #2 · answered by tcovelk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your dad. I can relate to how you feel I wasn't too close to my mom when I was your age either but we have gotten closer as I got older. But if you need to talk to someone about it you can always try talking to a friend's mom. You may feel more comfortable talking with someone you know. You could always try writing a letter to your mom telling her how you feel, but wait a day or two to give it to her so you have time to really think if that is what you want to say to her. You could always talk to a school counselor or a favorite teacher. Or you can even just keep a journal about your feelings, it is a good way to vent. You could try the therapy but do it as a family to where your mom knows how you feel and there is someone to step in when needed.
2006-09-08 16:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Bella's Creations 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a issue that affect a large majority of families, especially after the Father dies. I would like my Mother scream all she wants, close my ears and smile at her. In time, she may stop all this nonsense. You could sit her down like an adult and tell her that this behavior is causing you to have so many problems and you'd like to get this worked out, to where things will be cool at home. If she refuses to discuss this with you, I'd go to my school counsellor and ask for their advice and help. You definited at on the right track here.
2006-09-08 15:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by skyeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not need to go to a therepist but at least for now talk to a friend and don't hold any of the built up stress in. It's not good i know from expirience. As for family, try making amends with your mom, do something nice for her and show her that you really care for her and that may help her realize she's not alone and that she has loved ones there for her too. All i can say is good luck with everything and i give you my condolences.
2006-09-08 15:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by CC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry about your dad. Is that an older girl in your life that you could talk to? Is there a big brother big sister program in your area?. What you and your mom are going through is normal and it will pass. Please find a mentor that can help you through this very difficult time.
2006-09-08 15:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by blzabobb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good you realize it is a problem, try and work on yourself, try and do all the right things at home, if their is another argument, don"t say anything, it takes two to argue. try and say one day when you are by yourself Mom, we need to try and respect each other more, I do not like to be yelled at, and I know you must not like it too, lets try and discuss it. and try and come to a solution!!
2006-09-08 15:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your mom, both of you should go to therapy, it might helps, more to your mom, but you also need your clean mind instead of stress, and you need to create some family nights or having dinner together and you need to talk as a family not argue, and feeling that your family is falling apart.
Take care.
2006-09-08 16:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by sivan325 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell you feel
2006-09-08 15:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋