She is everything I want in a woman with good looks as well. The only problem is she is about 25-30lbs too much. I know it sounds shallow, but I can't let this keep bothering me. I worry about her health and I want her to be as health conscious as I am. What do I do?
2006-09-08 08:17:04 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
tactfully put a lock on the refrigerator and tactfully hide the key
2006-09-08 08:19:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can help with with your question. First I need to know know a few things. 1. When did u meet her and how long have u been together? You say you are health conscious and she obviously is not as conscious about health as you are?
2. Honestly why is it a problem if she has 20 to 30 extra pounds if you love her. I am assuming u do! It should not matter to you whether she gained weight or not as long as it's not life threatening becuase if you truly care for her you should care for her as she is, but if you want her to loose weight and this truly bothers you, then the best thing to do is to get her to walk with you and talk to her about whatever you can that's positive,something fun. When you are walking you are walking together in an unstreessful envirement to where you are loosing weight gettin in shape together in a fun way instead of having it be stressful while walking. When you are walking and talking that is a start but she does'nt know that yet. by then you have probably walked at least an hour.
3. The other approach is to politely explain to her not to take it the wrong way but u can say, sweetheart may I talk to you about something that is starting to concern me. You then must explain to her that you are concerned that she has gained weight and wanted to know if she is okay and that you are there for her if she needs you.
That way she'll open up to you and then you'll be able to help her understand your thoughts and feelings about the weight she has gained. communication is always the number one factor in a relationship.
Before I go there's one thing I want you to think about, that is, if you ever get in an accident and you lost an arm or leg what would you do if she said you gained weight and it bothered her knowing that you were not able to because you were in a wheelchair or something, or, what would you do if you had a child that started to gain weight.
How do you approach them. You need to care for her the way she is and accept that she has gained weight and try to help her. If you truly feel it's that bothersome then she's not the one for you because this would not be an issue.
My name is KON I am a hip hop & r&b rap artist, I love helping people whenever I can but you will always get the truth and no sugar coated bias answers just realness and intelligence from me. You have any more questions that I can be of any help or maybe eve explain better I'll be glad to help you further more. Good Luck !
--- Caring for someone should always be unconditional if you truly care about them.
2006-09-08 09:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by KON J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was she heavy when you met her? How old is she? Does she have any children? Is she on any type of birth control? Work a stressful job? How is her health?
**If she was heavy when you met her you knew what you were getting into. You can't complain about what you once adored.
**If she is in her late 30s or 40s her hormones could be fluctuating and causing a weight gain.
**If she recently (I'm talking about ever) had any children she may still be carrying weight, especially if she breast fed. Doctors say women lose weight if they breast feed but some women are left with large amounts of breast tissue (which can be very heavy) even after they stop nursing.
**Almost all types of birth control cause weight gain. You can consider a vasectomy.
** Stress is known to cause weight gain.
**There are many disease that can cause weight gain. Hypothyroid is one. She should get checked out by her doctor to rule out medical causes.
If all else fails start planning a vacation (several months away) in a tropical location. The idea of going on a beach in a swimsuit is usually enough to prompt women to lose weight. It also will give you some time together to remind you of all the reasons (other than her physical being) why you love her. Good luck and....ALOOOOHA!!!!
2006-09-08 08:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by Teresa V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I have to ask this, but is she 25lb-30lb too much by your standards, or by medical standards. I don't like it when people expect others to lose weight because they don't fit their ideals, but if she is 30lb overweight, I can understand your concern and it is very admirable for you to be concerned for her health. You can exercise together. Maybe go for an early morning jog or cycle. You could also cook her a healthy romantic meal now and again and encourage her to try new foods, that are healthy. Don't focus so much on her losing weight, but on being active and fit with a healthy lifestyle. But whatever you do, don't beat on at her about her weight, as it will just make her want to eat more and she will not thank you for it. HTH :)
2006-09-08 09:00:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that there's really any tactful way to tell your girlfriend (or any other woman, for that matter!) that she's too fat. If you share meals, you could encourage healthy eating or start cooking for her and eating out at healthy restaurants. You could share some exercise activities. Walking or biking or even joining a gym together. Make it fun, and all about health and not about her weight. I think if you do decide to talk with her about it, you should definitely emphasize your concerns for her health--that you want to have a long, healthy relationship, and you truly have her best interests in mind (not her appearance).
Even if you talk with her in the most tactful, loving way, she may misunderstand you. My husband complains all the time that he will make a statement, and I will automatically take it to the worst extreme.... I don't know, but this may be a trend in most women, especially when it comes to our appearance!
I think it's great that you're concerned for her health. I hope you can enjoy some healthy dialogue and activities together. Good luck!
2006-09-08 08:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by lucybelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take walks in the park or walk everywhere if this is possible. walking is the BEST excercise. why don't you buy you and your girlfriend a GYm membership. go together if you can. get her some lessons with a personal trainer. as for now cook healthy meals. hello she eats what you eat. to start off, have her eat 5 meals a day such as a healthy breakfast, then a snack, lunch, snack, and dinner. bake all meats if you can. eat veggies, use low-fat butter and buy oils in cans such as PAM. Also, see if the GYMhave an nutritionist on site. if not bring her to your nutritionist or tell her to make an appoinment with hers. tell her that you heard that weight gain can cause heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure which can lead to strokes, reproductive problems and death sometimes. you want to grow old with her and think that the two of you should get into shape so you can live to see your grandchildren
2006-09-08 08:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by averilyn06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You claim that she's everything you want in a woman. How long have you been with her? Did she look the same way when you got together?
Is she a really nice girl? Is she sweet?
I'd rather date someone who was bigger and nice and kind. Then some of the smaller people who are sometimes mean. (Now I don't want any haters out there! I said SOME of the smaller people!!!)
Ask her to take walks with you or go for bike rides in the park. Make it a "couple" thing to do.
2006-09-08 08:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by chrihutch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you want her to lose weight you should eat healthier and work out with her, that way she feels like you do care about her health because you are participating with her. If you just suggest it and expect her to do it alone yes she will take it the wrong way and get affended. Also, she can start eating healthier and start working out but if she is doing it alone it won't last long. Maybe suggest "lets get a membership and go to the gym" and and help her plan the meals that you eat
2006-09-08 08:31:07 · answer #8 · answered by Jordee B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to plan romantic dates, which involve physical activities. You can start off by taking walks in the evening after dinner, just to stroll around and talk about stuff. She probably won't even realize how much she is walking if you keep her talking the whole time. Or maybe you can buy his or her bikes, find a pretty park or trail, and ride together. You can also go camping, or hiking, as a romantic little weekend together. Start off with easy, low impact activities so you don't scare her off.
2006-09-08 08:25:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you start an exercise program with her. If you just flat out tell her to lose weight she will be miserable. BUT if you say something like lets start walking together, it may help. She will see it as a fun activity you both can do, and you can see it as a way for her to start dropping the weight.
2006-09-08 08:21:03 · answer #10 · answered by Tricia K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your shallow at all, it can seem hurtful but then i thought what a great opportunity to be active together and a great support team, i love to see couples working out together, and maybe she wants the motivation but is self conscious.activities that you can do together are great as a matter of fact my boyfriend took me kayaking for the fist time WOW
what a great workout it was.make it romantic bring fruits lean deli meats lite cheese sparkling water and tell how gorgeous she is
2006-09-08 08:41:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋