Advice please re younger sisters?

Question

I have a younger half sister who has not always been part of my life (she is my dad's daughter and lived most of the time with her mother but sometimes with my dad, i lived with my mother) recently we have started talking to eachother and texting eachother, i am worried that she is making mistakes, unfortunately she did not have a sound and secure upbringing like me, my mother always gave me the best of everything and looked after me fantastically, whereas her mother had other children and put her to one side, used her as a free babysitter etc, now my sister is really struggling she is 17 years old and has no job, and no prospects, she was invited to join a hair salon as an apprentice but decided after the tests etc that she didnt want to do that and now she doesnt even look for a job, she also seems quite promiscuous, even though she assures me she has never been in a sexual relationship, what can i do 2 guide her, as everyone else seems fed up with trying because she just wont listen

She is a lovely girl and deserves better but she doesnt realise that, i have tried talking to her but i cant seem to get through, i know she must learn from her mistakes but i dont want her to suffer and end up as ayoung mother or worse.

Answer 1

First, lol remember that everyone at some point goes through the "i can't be told anything cause i know it all stage"

second, you said that she didn't have the same upbringing as you.
so taking that into account, instead of preaching to her, which not many adults can stand, much less a teeneager, try to include her in your life, and SHOW her how things can be.

think about her view, she feels useless and used all at one time. and probably thinks she doesn't have much to offer. it sounds to me that she needs a good boost of self confidence, since it sounds to me she is looking for acceptance.

Answer 2

Why don't you try not to do what others do - tell her what to do, judge her etc. Be there as a friend, help her understand what SHE wants to do in life, how she feels and her outlook in life. She needs encouragement so that she doesn't fall into the trap of "social outcasts".

Trust her, too, because if you don't, she will always feel that you are judging her and won't be open with you (sometimes it's best to know the horrible truth than not knowing at all). Tell her how important and special she is, how proud of what she has achieved in her life despite what she went through. These skills are very much needed in any job and tell her you will support her in whatever she wants to do.

Sometimes, with people her age, she needs to make mistakes to understand, just be there so that the mistakes are not too detrimental to her well-being. Give her space but not enough for her to feel she is alone.

Answer 3

Find her passion and just be proud of it. Schools have found that if they encourage a child to let their tallent grow, they come out of school achieving more than just higher grades. If you encourage her talent and allow her to chose her path then you may get results.

She sounds like she's glad to have you around because you care but dont smother her by trying to do things for her. She's spent most of her life being the adult and although you need to remind her that she's 17 and is entitled to her youth, she's also now got to take responsibility for herself.

She's being promiscuous because she's testing the boundries, as most 17 yr olds do. If she looks up to you, now may be the time that you tell her what is right and what is wrong in your opinion. Although she may not follow you're lead she may realise that if she wants you as a friend as well as a sibling she's going to have to think about how she's treating her body.

If her mum has 'used' her as a baby sitter, she may only think that people should 'use' her. Try your best to steer her away from this thinking, but dont blame yourself if she has lots of failed rellys - this is because of her poor upbringing.

Answer 4

As i have stated earlier in different solutions, i'm in worry-free words thirteen. even if, in view that i'm about the girl's age, i'd nicely be able to assist. i imagine initially you should make up your recommendations even if you would desire as a lot as now this lady. in case you do, imagine about your friendship with her brother. also evaluate that, in view that she's so youthful, she received't sense smooth courting someone your age. Her moms and dads would also no longer desire that. yet in case you imagine you opt to ask her out, seek for suggestion from out of your buddy first. clarify that you quite like her, yet that you'll enable him be certain even if that's ok or no longer (you have to be honest the following). If he says that's tremendous, tremendous! If he says no, attempt to figure out why. He would allow you to recognize. He would sense protective of her. He may even sense weirded out through the actual undeniable reality that you want someone youthful typically. respect his decision; per chance in many years he will replace his recommendations.

Answer 5

I am afraid she is going to have to learn from her own mistakes. You will try and guide her - it's only natural, but if you go on at her she will come to resent you. Be her friend, not her mother and when she does make those inevitable mistakes just be there for her without judgement.

Answer 6

Sometimes you just have to say something and hope that even if she is angry and hurt, she'll eventually come round to your way of thinking. You obviously care about her a great deal, that might be a good place to start....Good Luck.

Answer 7

Helping her is one thing, put taking her problems on your shoulders is another one completely. Just tell her that you'll always be there for her but it's time she got her act together. Then you get on with your life and be happy and let her mess hers up. None of this is your fault. You sound a very nice person but this girl is not your responsibility....I know its tough but you have to let her go.....

Answer 8

Have a conversation with her, it won't do much do, usually they won't listen. But who knows if you tell her the right way she might listen.

Answer 9

She won't listen? What about you?

Are any of you listening to her? You can't help her until she tells you why she is as she is - and she won't do this until you earn her trust.

Stop lecturing and start listening!

Answer 10

you pretty much have no choice but to let her make her own decisions... Giving her advice and hoping she takes it is the best you can do at this point.