i am sooo angry with this man that i have been seeing so i have decided not to talk to him until i cool down and can formualte words to express how i feel. i have usually been able to expalin how i feel so i am unfamiliar with this silent stuff so how does it work and jsut how effective is it?
2006-09-08 08:02:18 · 48 answers · asked by kamieshac99 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Preschool
Silent treatment is a defensive measure you can use to prevent things from getting worse. This can be considered normal as you've stated yourself you are using the time-out to gather your thoughts so you can express yourself in a mature way.
Silent treatment can quickly turn into an offensive measure. The second purpose you stated you gave him the silent treatment because you were so angry with your man. Retaliation. But what does this really do? It effectively cuts off communication and any chance of reconciliation. Things can only go downhill. In the meantime, you will make assumptions, he will make assumptions, he won't fully know what you're mad about, you won't be able to tell him, etc.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-08 08:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by Sin™ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Youre doing the smart thing. Its smart to cool down when youre upset before talking to your lover. But that isnt whats known as the silent treatment. Silent Treatment is when you purposely ignore them, even when you know what you want to say. But I dont really think thats very effective. It just makes you more angry because you cant express what you are really feeling.
2006-09-08 08:05:59 · answer #2 · answered by •°¤Lauren¤°• 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only as effective as the person you want to effect allow it to be.
If you want the silent treatment to punish the person and they don't care whether you talk to them or not, it will make a difference but only anger you more that they don't care.
Now if you act silent and they do everything possible to get back into your good gracious than the silent treatment was successful.
Silent treatment is just what it says, your going to be silent by ignoring the person as if their aren't around.
2006-09-08 08:15:16 · answer #3 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive way of avoiding an unpleasant situation. I do agree that it's best to cool off before discussing the issue that's upsetting you. But if you're staying silent just to punish your man, that's really no better than having an argument.
2006-09-08 08:08:31 · answer #4 · answered by vita64 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the silent treatmet is usually used to punish someone you're pissed at,
if used like this i disagree - it just makes the other person either really guilty, or really upset, both feelings you do not want someone you love to go through
but just taking some time off to gather your thoughts is a good idea
but dont forget to talk it out as soon as your cooled down!!!
communication - always a good thing, especially if you are being honest! dont sugar coat stuff, say what you mean so he'll be able to get the message loud and clear
good luck - if you love him, i hope it works out for ya'll!!
2006-09-08 08:09:11 · answer #5 · answered by punkrockprincess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it really helps to take a little break to calm down .. gather your thoughts. I know for myself when I get upset.. I don't really talk until I cool down. I find that it helps us to be able to talk about the situation and resolve it without worrying about it escalating to something else or hurtful words.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-08 08:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The times that I was guilty of "silence", I was always afraid that I might use words out of anger that I later would regret.
I really failed once. And regretted it.
I gave myself time to become more rational and leave my anger behind.
Unfortunately , the other party takes it as uncaring. I learned to not become angry when the other party is angry, just allow them to let it all hang out. Then I used to calmly, ask, are you through?
More often than not, it brought a laugh.
2006-09-08 08:12:13 · answer #7 · answered by ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't the silent treatment what 4 year olds use to get her way? This is a very immature way to handle things, especially if you are doing it intentionally. If you need space and time to think, that is different. But don't think that you are punishing him with this. You're only punishing yourself, and your relationship.
2006-09-08 08:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you IT WORKS im doing it as i write to you lol its been 2 weeks since ive been doin the silent treatment. This guy has been trying to talk to me has been calling like crazy. Do it trust me when he see's he doesnt have you no more he will change.
2006-09-08 08:06:18 · answer #9 · answered by lola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My shrink said that the silent treatment is actually a form of abuse. Try to be mature about whatever issue is bothering you and attempt to resolve it by discussing the problem. Good Luck!
2006-09-08 08:04:14 · answer #10 · answered by clueless 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋