should i be afraid?

Question

be afraid of my bf who hit his ex.???

Answer 1

I'm not saying that people can never change, but it is usually a pattern, a way to control. Might not happen at first but I would be worried in the long run.

Answer 2

Yes. having said that, how did u know he hit his ex? did he tell you, did he communicate that he does not condone violence, and that he needs help? he needs u to understand, and forgive, and trust that he won't do it again? if u guys communicate about it, and u have Rules about it, as in "if u ever physically abuse me, because of your past, i will Have to break up with you and never see you again." that way, you are giving him a chance, but letting him know that it is NOT ok, and not a relationship that u want for yourself if he starts to hit you. if he can't control it, he has to Willingly get help, automatically, and right away. tha'ts the problem w/ trusting someone; u have to love and trust him and commit right? but what IF he hits you? that is the risk u are taking when u know that he has done it before.

remember, if he hid it from you, or doesn't do anything to fix it, or other problems in the rleationship, those are signs that he will not be easy to get thru difficult times with. if u love him, u are giving him that TRUST..and that is so priceless. the minute he takes advantage of that, doesn't appreciate it, and treats you badly, u have to leave. let him konw that, and let yourself know that and BE STRONG. u are forgiving him for something horrible he has done previously, and he must Always appreciate that.

Answer 3

Domestic violence is the name of what his ex suffered.
and Restraining Order is the answer to his behavior.
Yes, he will treat you the way he treats her because that's the way he treats women/girls...ask him how much he loves his mother that will tell you how well he will treat all women...mistreating a woman/girl is proving his feelings toward her and you can't expect to make him love you if he already hates a woman to the point that he wants to physically hurt her...ask yourself what will he do to me if he ever think bad of me?...usually a man who hits a woman won't change from one woman to another if he does not understand that it's wrong to hit. love should not hurt. violence is hate.
if you love him and are not sure you want to be or stay with him in any case please talk to as many people as possible about his behavior and always let someone know his reactions to you and before all never believe that you or someone can force someone else to hit you if that's his excuse for hitting women. hitting is a choice that the perpetrator decides to make, because he does not want to control his behavior. ask him : would you hit your boss? if he says no ask him this question: why not?

Answer 4

YES my advice is to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. The fact that he hit is ex means he has violent tendencies. Unless he has had counseling or anger managment since then he is unlikely to have changed. Don't take the chance. Use some common sense and your gut instinct.

Answer 5

Until he gives you reason to be afraid, then I say no.....I am not saying by any means that he had a right to hit his ex, but, on the other hand, we don't know what the situation was there, maybe she was knocking the crap out of him and he had enough, so he popped her to get her off of him.......but whatever the reason, as long as he doesn't put his hands on you, then don't worry about it. My husband has had to slap his ex wife on occasion, out of pure defense, she would claw his face up until she drew blood, hit him over the head with whatever she could get her hands on, so my thought is this........IF YOU PUT YOURSELF IN A MAN'S POSITION, BE READY TO BE TREATED LIKE A MAN.........and by the way, he has never raised his voice to me in 6 1/2 years.......good luck and trust your instinct

Answer 6

You shouldn't be afraid of anybody. But yeah, if the case is as you describe it, then maybe seeking out another boyfriend would be a practical choice.

You can try talking to him, but probably any reason he gives would be merely an excuse.

Answer 7

yes, I would be really cautious of how he acts around me. Have you seen 'enough' with Jennifer Lopez? Once they are down the road of abuse, I feel like there is nothing that could really change him. If you want to take the chance with him, go for it, but all the power to you when/if he hits you, and don't take that sh!t from him!

Answer 8

usually if they hit before they'll do it again how bad was the hit was it a slap did he punch her knock her down how long have you been together has he hit you or used mental warfare to get his way are you committed enough to have him go to counseling or both i guess my advice is for you to ask yourself " did this scare me and will he do the same to me!" did you see this or is his ex telling you this happened

Answer 9

yes, and you certainly should not be with a guy with that history. If he hit his ex, what else has he done and what would prevent him from doing the same to you if he was frustrated enough??
GET AWAY!!

Answer 10

yes dear u should!!!
if he uses his fists to resolve issues then you should definitely be afraid of him....he could do the same to you when a conflict arises in ur relationship!! There are other men out there....let this one go!!
take care