Kids.. one? or more?

Question

I've always thought that having at least two kids is preferable to a single child. It seems there would be advantages to a child and growing up to have a brother or sister to grow up with and have to sometimes deal with. Aside from parental overhead (two more expensive to raise than one, more to supervise, etc etc) I'm curious to hear pros and cons / thoughts on this matter. I'd especially be interested to hear what people who have children think.

Answer 1

I = RAIN
2 = THUNDER STORM
3= TORNADO

Answer 2

When I first imagined my life with kids in it, I dreamed of at least two. For the same reason you said, so one isn't raised to be a spoiled rotten brat who doesn't interact with others well. Currently, I have only one daughter (who by the way is the best!), but would like to have a son for my boyfriend to carry on his name. He had a vasectomy 12 years ago though, so my options are limited for now. I always said if I had two girls the first two tries, I'd go once more for a boy. Still no luck, one more try so I'd have an even amount....but definitely no more than four children. I know back in the day, (our grandmothers) had 6+ kids and raised them NO PROBLEM. It's overwhelming to me to even think of raising more than 4 kids, putting them all through school, clothes, grocery bill, etc. I'm happy with my one right now. She's almost four and has a step-brother in GA, so it's not like she's totally an only child (she is at mama's). By all means, she's not spoiled, I've been truly blessed with this child. She's so smart and the first two years of her life (when her daddy and I were still together), I was fortunate enough to be a stay at home mom. It's awesome and I wouldn't trade what I have right now for the world!

Answer 3

I don't have kids, but I'm an only child. Though I have 3 older half bros and they don't particularly like me because they feel my mom took our dad away from their mom. I hear all the time that giving your child siblings makes them well rounded and better off. But then I look at my mom who is the oldest and then there is my aunt and then my uncle. And they are constantly fighting over something. I mean my mom has been lied on about stuff since they were kids. And its still occuring. Not to mention the fact that my grandmother, though she loved all her kids, always valued my uncle as the favorite. So in retrospect, I hear what you are saying about having 2 kids, I have thought about having 3 one day myself. But to think about all the bickering an accusations of someone being the favorite, I don't think I could put a child through that. And besides I have benefited greatly being the only child, not in a spoiled way, but at least I'm quite a bit more mature and well rounded than my peers, because I have been raised around adults.

Answer 4

Does the wife have an education? Does she have a job?
So that when the man leaves, most marriages break up, she can afford to raise this child alone. That is just not enough information. What do you do for a living? Do you own your own home? It is expensive to raise a child. Can you afford it?
Need a lot more information.

Answer 5

You should ask any one with more than one. You don't want one, the other parents with more will talk about you. We have four children, ages 2-13. They all love being in a big family, except my son, as he is the only boy. One child changes your life. The next one makes you a better parent. From what I have encountered in terms of my childrens' friends, former students and a few of our friends just having one, onlies are more self-centered. Mommy and Daddy are too involved, too nurturing, too much time devoted to this one child. Compared to children with siblings, they seem unable to share as well, unable to solve problems on their own, less ability to work it out or take turns or walk away. They have a sense of entitlement that makes me want to scream! As students they exhibit the same social behavior. They just aren't always in a "community." A lot of what we need to be good citizens is a sense of belonging and supporting and taking responsibility.

Now, all the parents of one are outraged. I'm cool with that. And I have to say, it's not like I don't love my nephew, or that my neighbor's kid is terrible. This is just my overall experience. Parents of one know who left the door open, who walked through cat puke and didn't clean it up. They never have to wake up to two girls screaming at 6am, and determine who started it. This is not an advantage for the child, but it is for the parents. Parents of one don't have to divide their time and affection, so they get to suffer less guilt. But the child misses out on the part of life where 'it's just not about you!' Parents of two have the joy of watching one read the other a book, watching how your older child transfers what you teach them to the younger. Parents of many find out that you don't love your children because they're yours, but because of who they are and what they will contribute to the world. And parents of many will never, ever say that they live for their children, which to us, is quite scary!

Also, a child needs someone to play with and laugh at you with. And if you have one, who will be there when you're gone?

Answer 6

I have three, I'm 9and a half years younger than my next sibling.
I was very lonely growing up. I think two is better than one. If they are not years apart. They can play together,help each other and learn together.Of coarse there would be fights but they really would love each other and be close.Lonely is the pits even for adults.

Answer 7

Kids I think do better with a sibling. They learn from each other, kids learn easier from other kids than from adults. Children also learn sharing, communication, and problem solving better if they have a sibling. Don't have more than 5yrs. separating them though or these things don't apply. The best age separation is 2-3 yrs. I think. Don't have more than 2 kids though cause you don't want the kids to outnumber the adults in the house, that's when things get difficult.

Answer 8

My children I have living with me are 13 months apart and it is a great thing (a boy 8 and a girl soon to be 7) they are really close and yeah it's more of a hardship trying to get things sometimes but that is just called survival.

Answer 9

2 or more for sure. Personally, any single child I've known turns out to be very selfish, a 'princess'. I think it's because they grow up never having to share anything & getting all the attention.

Answer 10

i was one of 11 and i got to tell you it kind of sucked..there was always a money issue..my older sister and i are eight years apart and my younger sister and i are six years apart..so i didn't really have a close relationship with either of them growing up.. 2 would be an ideal number just don't do 11..that was stupid and irresponsible of my parents

Answer 11

well i had two boys 13 months apart i say its best to have at least two have them close together in age then it doesn't get more costly because you will have some stuff you will need already besides they want grow up spoiled they will appreciate what they have more