After my daughter died , people who I thought was my friends stopped calling or getting in touch in every way,Why,I wasn'nt the kind of person who cried to them and I could talk about her or anything else without becoming hysterical.
2006-09-08 07:40:23 · 12 answers · asked by lennie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
UNFORTUNATELY THAT IS WHEN YOU FIND OUT WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE. SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME WHEN MY BROTHER DIED. MY FATHER'S BEST FRIEND TOLD HIM HE WAS SORRY ABOUT HIS LOSS AND NEVER TALKED TO HIM AGAIN. IM SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU BUT LOOK AT IT THIS WAY NOW YOU KNOW WHO THE PEOPLE WHO REALLY CARE FOR YOU.
2006-09-08 07:48:47 · answer #1 · answered by PHILLYGUY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because death is an uncomfortable topic and most people think they have to know the right thing to say or do. I'm sure you just wanted a friendly ear to let you talk about the good times and let you think out loud.
Also, a lot of people feel guilty since they're secretly happy it's not them and that makes it more difficult for them to talk with someone who has experienced a loss.
And last, many people believe that you need to be alone in your grief, not realizing that you really need to have life go on around you. I'm sure many of your friends are still friends but not sure how to approach you. Take initiative and contact those that you feel the closest to. You may be surprised by their reaction(s) to you.
My condolences for the loss of your daughter and wishes of luck for re-establishing your outside relationships.
2006-09-08 14:52:01 · answer #2 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People might not be able to relate to that person. My dad commit suicide when I was a kid and the people who I thought were my friends turned away when I needed them the most. I moved away and made new friends. They just don't understand me. I ended up getting very clinically depressed later on in my life and lost all my new friends because they didn't understand me then. I am now in college and I find that there are a lot compassionate people. But I'm over the past now and I'm re-inventing myself. I still remember the one I lost and how I almost lost myself but I've moved on in life and a counsilor I knew well was the only one I talked to about life cuz unless it's happend to them they don't understand.
2006-09-08 15:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by aluminum22rocker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Death is hard to handle especially by yourself, it's not you it's them, they don't know what to say or do and stumble around trying find the right words. if you still want them as friends give them a call and ask what's up or new. tell them their just being there for you is a help. my condolences on the loss of your daughter.
2006-09-08 14:59:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mary S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess they thought to give you some time to heal your pain... Some don't call because they are afraid they will bring up the subject and afraid that you will think about how you lose your daugther again... Call them and ask them to come over and tell them gently that you just want soemone to be with now and that you are fine now and don't lose contact just because a painful even has occur to you..
2006-09-08 14:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by funkysha916 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people just don't know what to say. Others may think you need space. If you want to talk to them pick up the phone. When my sister got cancer one of my best friends stop hanging around me and I finally asked her why, and she said I KNOW this is so stupid but I didn't want to be around all the bad mojo....btw, I am sorry to hear about your daughter. God bless.
2006-09-08 14:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by silver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe they wanted to give you some time and space. they may not have known how to act. before her death, what would you have done to someone in your situation??
give them a break. the last thing you want to do is drive your friends and family away when they are the only people you've got left.
be kind.
2006-09-08 14:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by Surf n' Snow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, it's not you. People just don't know how to act around others when they are upset. They are afraid that you don't want to talk to anyone, or that you might get upset too easily. They are just trying to give you the space that they think you need in order to get yourself together and move on.
2006-09-08 14:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by danica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a difficult thing to deal with even if I believe friends should never leave you alone unlesss you ask so. Leave the things aside: the good friends will come back to explain themselves otherwise better lose them.
Sorry for your loss: we don't expect to survive to our children>XOXO
2006-09-08 15:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also lost my daughter people just didn't bring her up to me like she never existed I think people dont know what to say or they are afraid they will say the wrong thing and hurt you
2006-09-08 14:54:04 · answer #10 · answered by michelle m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋