2006-09-08 07:04:08 · 19 answers · asked by ashkmelater 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
btw i am a woman, not just men soldiers out there, lol
2006-09-08 07:23:33 · update #1
how can u do that 2 him??? hes 4 years old!! he needs you!!!!!!!
2006-09-08 07:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by ... 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell your son where you are going. Be honest. He may not fully understand but don't just say your going to work. He knows that when you go to work you come home at night.
Buy a couple web-cams. Set up your computer at home. Get a laptop for Iraq or buy one while you're here. There are also Internet cafes here. There are many ways to communicate with you family. I am sitting in my trailer via satellite Internet.
I am currently in Iraq (2ND deployment. coming home in less than two months) I have 4 children 2-14.
BTW, don't worry he won't forget you. I was worried about my youngest one but with the web-cam he is able to see me and talk to me. Be warned the Internet is a little slow so be patient with it.
thanks for serving
2006-09-08 07:41:05 · answer #2 · answered by bluefalcon_gillis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one...
But I don't think a 4 year-old will feel abandoned any longer than the first two days... their minds are still like goldfish at that point.
Distraction is the best tool a parent can have sometimes... "ooh look - a toy!"
I hope for your kid's sake that you have a safe return. I mean that.
2006-09-08 07:08:21 · answer #3 · answered by rabble rouser 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 year old don't really understand reasoning. Make it short and simple. Keep repeating it instead of adding new information.
Say something like 'I have to go far away. The sooner I leave, the sooner i'll get back. And I want to be back soon... so I need to leave in ... weeks'
A little long, but don't say anything about money or you'll make him feel like a burden
2006-09-08 07:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to explain a tour of duty to a 4 year old. Even a few days is very long to him. Tell him that you are like a super hero who has to fight the bad guys for awhile but you will be back as soon as you can. Write and call as often as you can.
I hope it all ends soon and you can return to your little boy.
2006-09-08 07:08:03 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard I know. I'm seeing this problems by my own where I'm living. People saying perhaps 4 years old, that's OK. he/she understand nothing. That's not true. The kids know it, sometimes more than adults and their feelings. It is so sad. You just got to tell the true. Is there no way you can't stop this deployment? I'm so sorry for you, wish you good luck and watch yourself.
2006-09-08 08:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by cat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to Militaryonesource.com
They have tons of books,activities,and great ideas you can send off for for free.
They have deployment calenders they color,and activities to do keeping you in mind everyday.
If your married your wife will benefit from some of the CD's and books as well. How to handle Deployments and things like that. They ship them to you free. It is hard,my 3 girls had a rough time with my husband leaving,but keep him busy!!! Good luck!
2006-09-08 07:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by Holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are aware that you may have a legal obligation to the child...if not, you need to speak with someone in your state's Department of Child Services to determine your responsibility to the child (if any).
The following is an excerpt from wikipedia...
In family circumstances, child abandonment is often recognized as a crime, in which case the child is usually not physically harmed directly as part of the abandonment; distinct from this is the widely recognized crime of infanticide.
If you are a U.S. military service person, there is a difference...you should simply explain that it is part of your work to leave home as you are directed by your superior officers. Give him a photograph of you to remember you...and, encourage him or his mother to send copies of his artwork..or other school work (or copies) to your military address.
2006-09-08 07:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel so sorry for you dear ashkmelater and your toddler! I quite understand your predicament - you can't lie at the same time it sounds cruel to tell him, or rather to make the child understand that you are really going to be away to fight a war in a far away land, and you can't say for certain about your return! I pray God to give you the courage to do your best!
God bless you and your family. Cheers!
2006-09-08 07:11:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sami V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Above all else, be honest. Tell the truth as you feel it. I've had the occasion to that a few times myself but with older kids. They didn't like it but we understood that, so long as I wore the uniform, that's the way it has to be. Let him know you will do everything in your power to come home. God's speed!
2006-09-08 07:23:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my fiance' has a 3 year old daughter, and he had to tell her, he told her the truth, dont lie... he told her that he had to go help other people across the world, and that he will be coming back once his job was done.... and that is the truth but in a little childs eyes, that makes you a hero! The other day she called him superman! so now i call him superman! i hope i have helped you may chose to tell your child a diff. way but, that way worked for him! take care and god bless you! :o)
2006-09-08 08:23:25 · answer #11 · answered by ♥ LEILANI ♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋