I was recently invited to a coworker's wedding. Seems that I can't make it and sent my deepest regrets. Of course notwithstanding the fact that I dont like her but anyways another coworker told me that if someone invites you to a wedding but you cant make it, you should still give them a gift, albeit a smaller one that if you were to attend. I think the idea of getting her something if i am not going is nuts...is there circumstances where you should do this?
2006-09-08 06:54:32 · 22 answers · asked by Alex H. 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
if she was a good friend then yes i would say buy her a wedding gift seeing as she not close to you i wouldnt bother giving a gift. its nice that you were invited but i cant see why you have to still folk out for a present to a wedding your not attending. i would just leave it and when you see her offer your congratulations and hope thats the end of it.
i missed a friend of a friends wedding once and no one ever said to me that i had to buy a gift so i didnt seeing as she was just a someone i rarely hung with i thought no reason to buy anything
2006-09-08 06:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by lisa7777 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think generally you don't have to give a gift if you are not attending the wedding. However, this is a coworker that you will have to see everyday. If you don't get her anything, you may feel awkward when you see her on a daily basis. Are any other people from work attending? If not, why not pool money together to buy a gift (people can chip in what they feel comfortable contributing) or get a gift card. I did not have a big wedding and so did not invite my co-workers, but my desk buddy got me a $20 gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond w/ a little picture frame to put on my desk - seemed very appropriate.
2006-09-08 06:59:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No! No no NO!! If you don't like the woman there's a good chance she doesn't like you either and was only inviting you so she could get more loot. You've already sent your apologies that you can't go to the wedding. Give her your sincere best wishes for a long and happy married life. Don't get guilt-tripped into giving her a present as well. You won't mean it and she won't be grateful.
2006-09-08 07:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by Jackie J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes , if your actually invited as opposed to simply being sent an announcement, it is in good taste/ proper etiquette to send a gift... normally if I do not attend a wedding, I send $50 anyway ( even if I really don't care that much for the person), but you could also send a regular gift instead or simply hand it to her when you see her ( cheaper than mailing an actual gift)... you could simply buy her a nice picture frame for one of her wedding photos... if it looks nice - she will not have any idea what it cost you as long as you remember to remove the price tag!
2006-09-08 06:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Fortune 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go with a card. If she does not appreciate it than she was not worthy of a gift anyway. If it turns out she did appreciate it, you can always make it up to her when she plans on starting a family. You know you will get invited to the baby shower.
2006-09-08 07:10:15 · answer #5 · answered by tiggo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes even if you are not attending a gift is the accepted requirement. And as you say this is a co worker you still have to work with this lady. Send a card with $20.00
2006-09-08 07:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by cin_ann_43 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Generally accepted etiquette says you should send a gift.
They cared enough to invite you (and likely a guest) to an event that is probably costing them in the neighborhood of 40-60$ a person. If they were willing to spend that kind of money on your dinner and dancing it is not inconceivable that you spend 20$ on a gift for them.
Just my two cents.
2006-09-08 06:59:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I really don't think you need to give them anything. You wont be attending so they will not be providing you with food, entertainment, etc, whatever the costs of each guest for them will be...you wont be included! If you really feel obligated I would go with giving them something small although I cant seem to think of anything that could work for that.... if it were me, I would probably just skip the gift. I don't think they would ever be like OH MY GOSH she didnt go to our wedding AND she didnt give us a gift. haha Good luck, whatever you decide :)
2006-09-08 06:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda R 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Getting invited requires a gift. Why not send a card with a monetary gift?
2006-09-08 07:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should never give gifts out of obligation. I would hate to know someone bought me a gift because they Had too. If you like someone and you want to give a give, then you do. If you Never liked them I wouldn't. Sounds like someone told her she Had to invite you to the wedding. A simple Congrats when you see her will be fine.
2006-09-08 07:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋