this is something that happened to my mother when she was dying of cancer when i was a young girl?

Question

my mother died when i was 8 and im 20 now any way a few weeks before she died she was due to go to the hospital with my aunty and on the day she was having a bad day, so she had problems getting down the stairs.....so it was decided for her to go down on her bum in the middle of this my aunt came in to take her and as she came in she said to her your not ready to go any where, your make up is even on!!!!!! this same anuty 12 years on ive probably only ever seen her once her twice and now growing up and hearing these stories it really says to me that u cant choose ur family this woman has no heart, why is there always 1 black sheep to every family?

sorry about ya but its true as tony blair stepping down!!! sorry if it seems unbeliveable but i just wanna know how many people have a family member who is different to the family?

sharon loves k? this is one of many stories ive been told while growing up and i think i can say okay she might have a heart somewhere but not where her family are concerned, tell me this if u knew that u were dying and u were leaving a very youngf family and u had to struggle on a day to day basis and all ur energy was gone and someone came along to u too bash ur confidence for carry on each day, how would u feel,? i know my family and would u be worrying about ur makeup when ur dying?

Answer 1

Just think your self luckly that you have had little or no dealings with this women. She doesn't sound like a very nice person.
We had a similar situation in our family with an Uncle turning against the family. We now have no dealings with him & don't give him any thought. We just get on with our own lives & he with his.

Answer 2

You need to ask your Aunt about this. It seems like such a little thing to hold onto and have it playing on your mind any longer. Because you were so young when this happened it's possible that you percieved it wrong. Maybe it was said in a more light hearted way than you think or maybe your Aunt new your Mum well enough to know she usually never went anywhere without her make-up and was trying to make her feel as normal as possible. Even if it was meant selfishly then it's time to clear the air. Possibly the worst thing about not speaking to your Aunt about this is this: how do you know she doesn't feel bad about it too and would love to speak to you about it but daren't be the one to mention it?

Answer 3

That is indeed a sad tale, but many people re like this. My sister believes beauty is pain and if her daughter cries of a stomach ache while getting her hair done she gets upset, and she puts in the tightest braids that would give me a migraine. So I understand.

Another thing is a lot of people don’t realize what they say is wrong, so regret is rarely felt or expressed. It’s hard to be reminded of such stories. Try explaining how you feel or pray for God to change that n her. Prayer can be a great help.

As I have many black, blue, and sheep in my family. I hope things get better.

Answer 4

I know you have taken this to heart because it was your Mum after all, and you had your childhood without her.
If there were no strong man present, it would have probably been awkward to carry your mum down the stairs without dropping her. It is very important to keep your humour no matter sick you are, and it is better to have cheerful people around you. Better than lying there doing nothing. Your Mum obviously never went out without make-up before she was ill, and your Aunt was missing the sister she knew and loved. It wasn't said to be cruel, just reflecting on the person your Mum was. Why haven't you seen your Aunt? Go and visit her and talk about your Mum.

Answer 5

You need to first make peace with that memory as obviously it still hurts you, so first forgive your aunt and then you might consider approaching her or at least writing her about how you felt about that incident, she might not be aware that her simple remark made such deep and damaging impact of your psyche.

Clearing up your psyche of that muck is the responsibility you owe to your future, so clear it up now, express your anger out, and yes you were a little girl then so it is ok that you couldn't express your anger then, it is ok, it was not your fault.

Now I see a wonderful life lesson in it, though painful as all great lessons are - To be sensitive to what we speak to others and never speak any thing harsh, careless or insensitive to anyone yourself as you have seen the affects of it, and also to never allow such things be said around you, now what you are a grown up woman.

Answer 6

Hi i think this is just the way life is, at least you have only got one black sheep in the family, im getting married next year and my hubby to be has a whole load of black sheep on his side. They just pick at everything and try to make you feel down. Just put on a smile and get on with it i have to at least you dont see her alot, which is for the best.

Answer 7

Why do you say she "has no heart"?

She knew your mother a lot longer than you did. You have no insight as to their relationship.

Perhaps you should spend time getting to know what your mother was like by talking to your aunt instead of bashing her.

Answer 8

I know what you mean. My mum lives in Maramris in Turkey, where the bombs went off last week. I asked my brother if he has heard about it, and he said that mum wouldve called if there was a problem. But how would my mum call if she had been killed??? I am no longer speaking to him. I have had enough of his selfishness.

Answer 9

That's to bad , I'm sorry you remember that sort of stuff forget your aunt cherish the beautiful memories you have your mom

Answer 10

People like to put others down to make themselves feel better;sometimes if they are exposed to this type of behavior they don't even realize what they are doing hurts others