I met this guy we've been dating a while we're not i a relationship but just friends and i invited him to my daughters birthday party and her dad will be there. her dad and i are good friends but he also used to work briefly with the guy ii'm dating he's cool with that like i said we are like best friends. my guy says he's not ready for that was i wrong to invite him? The party is going to be a big barbeque end of the summer party alot of kids and adults just family. he has already met my family b/c he was part of a suprise party for my b-day so he knows some people already. again was i wrong to invite him? I repect his decision but i am kinda hurt i thought he was mature enough to handle the situation.
2006-09-08 06:49:47 · 15 answers · asked by Sexy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I understand why you’re somewhat hurt by his decline to attend, as I would be if I were you. Yes one would think that if he agreed to date you then he was fully aware of the uncomfortable circumstances that were bound to arise. Though you mentioned that what you two share isn’t a real relationship but one of friendship. So if that’s the case why would he decline?
No I do not think you were wrong in inviting him, its was a friendly gesture ands a nice way to ease him in your life with the potential to be more than friends by including him in family events.
My only suggestion is to ask him why he declined and maybe it'll make more sense. He could always change his mind and decide to go with you.
2006-09-08 07:07:22 · answer #1 · answered by passion611 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, he's being honest. He said that he feels uncomfortable, can't you understand that? How does your ex- feel about the situation of you seeing someone whom he knew as a friend?
Now, try if you can to put yourself in your ex-'s place and then try to put yourself in the place of your current boyfriend's place. Try to understand that it has nothing to do with "macho" or sense of manhood or nonsense like that; it is not immaturity, it's quite normal to feel awkward under the circumstances.
You would have been wrong not to invite him; but, you can tell him that if he doesn't want to attend that you will understand him and miss his presence. How can you NOT invite your daughter's father to HER birthday, right? So, THAT is something your boyfriend will just have to understand. I hope he starts to feel better about the situation soon for his own personal comfort. If he attends, ask a few of your family or members to go to him if they see him standing alone. THAT is what he feels most uncomfortable with, that he'll be left alone while your daughter's father won't be left alone since he already knows the family. Good luck.
2006-09-08 14:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're more hurt that you don't get to prance around in front of your ex with your new beau. I think this guy has every right to draw some boundaries with how much he's involved with your family, especially since you have a child. I think you should be the adult and don't worry about him. Your daughter is your first priority and you should just focus on her.
2006-09-08 13:54:43 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he doesn't feel that he's ready to do this, sure you have to respect his wishes!But don't wait forever for him to say that he's ready. That's just mean and irresponsible. You have to have some kind of clue as to when he is ready. If you find he is making excuses every time that you mention this, then he's not really worth respecting him. Dump him, there are plenty of men in the world!
And if he doesn't like kids, don't date him. Kids are like treasures, they are worth more then any man in this world!
2006-09-08 13:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by Christina M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you were not wrong to invite him, but it puts him in an awkward postion with your ex there,even if you are good friends with him. It is tough situation. I'm going through something similar. I think with time he will be able to handle situations like this better
2006-09-08 13:55:06 · answer #5 · answered by twogris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you werent wrong to invite him, and on his part, he should have handled the situation better. i mean kids are a sensitive topic, but since this guy and you are dating, he should be a part of EVERYTHING in your life, not criticizing something trivial like having your daughters dad there.
2006-09-08 13:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by Liya J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, if you need something to be upset about, this will work. On the other hand, birthday parties for children ARE "family" things and his reaction seems understandable to this old man.
2006-09-08 13:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are upset then you are upset. The real question is whether you can truly understand his position, as you claim. Sure it is a disappointment to you but are you really going to make his honest reaction to the complexity of your life a deal-breaker in your relationship with the guy?
2006-09-08 13:54:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't wrong to invite him. I think it was a nice gesture. But respect his feelings, if he isn't ready he isn't ready. You can't force him it will only drive him away.
2006-09-08 13:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you were not wrong in asking him to come by, however I feel it is safe to say that he has deeper feelings for you then you obviously have for him, he wants more and is uncomfortable with being around your ex because he has feelings for you. Blessed be.
2006-09-08 13:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋