Question about in laws??

Question

My inlaws really are nice but they are hipocritical
When they got married they didn't have a big fancy wedding because they Couldn't afford it! They always make comments that what we had wasn't nescary but they didn't pay for a thing!
how can I explain to them this is what I wanted.

Answer 1

Don't explain to them. As long as you know this is what you wanted then who cares what they say or think. Stay focused on you and your new honey (congrats!) and less focus on the in laws and you may find yourself not having such concerns.:)

Answer 2

First, there's no need to explain it. If you start off constantly defending yourself, that's how the rest of your life with them will be. Just let them talk and roll with it. Or, change the subject all the time.

If you really feel the need to justify your wedding expenses, there are few things you can say:

1. You and your husband paid for the perfect wedding, and everything was within your budget. It's not like you took out a loan or anything (I hope you didn't, at least :o)

2. Technically, the only thing required for a marriage is a license and an officant. Everything beyond that isn't necessary. I bet a lot of things in their wedding wasn't necessary either, technically speaking.

Answer 3

It is your husband's family, He should be defending your thoughts as a couple. If you were to tell your in laws that you feel it was what the two of you wanted and you are happy with the way your wedding turned out. It could seem disrespectful. Your husband needs to relay that this bothers the both of you. That he wanted the big wedding and could not have imagined getting married any other way.

You need to talk to your partner, He needs to tell his parents to keep their comments about the costs of the wedding compared to theirs quiet. Explain that you are feeling as though they are saying you shouldn't have had the wedding you did. Your husband needs to let them know that he is an adult and values their opinion, but that he decided to have a big beautiful rememberable wedding. That there is no need to bring up their unapproval of the costs of his wedding since the decision has been made and other than to cast disapproval there is no reason why they would still bring it up.

Good luck with the in laws. If they are normally nice, they are probably still trying to teach their son the value of a dollar. He needs to tell them that advice is good, but he is grown and has a wife now. That the two of you will make your financial decisions.

Answer 4

Sit your in-laws down and have a heart to heart talk... Tell them that thier comments about your wedding are hurtful as you had the exact type of wedding you always dreamed of having... Tell them you know it might not have been the wedding they imagined and that's fine it was what you had imagined and while not necessary it was a once in a lifetime dream event...

Explain that you realize they are very kind people and are most likely unaware that thier comments have hurt your feelings and explain that you want to clear the air about it and not allow it to fester into something bigger than hurt feelings.. ...

If approached delicately and with honesty I am sure they will understand and apologize for inadvertantly hurting your feelings.. Sometimes people make comments and they don't realize those comments are hurtful until they are told... Even really nice people... .

Answer 5

Look them straight in the eye and say "This is my wedding, it's what I've alsway dreamed of having and, since I can afford to have it, I am going to have it." Do not look away afterward either. Keepo eye contact and make sure you say this with the most serious expression on your face so that they understand this is not a democracy, and they don't get a vote nor a say in how you live your lives.
BTW Congrats on you wedding!

Answer 6

Just tell them that it was what YOU wanted. If they had paid for the ceremony they would have a right to say whatever they liked, but as the fact that they didn't pay a penny, then you'll kindly thank them to keep their opinions to themselves!

Consider this a fine life-lesson. You will find - as you get older - that there are far more hypocritical people in the world than there are honest people.

Answer 7

Next time they say anything, just ask, "Did you enjoy yourselves at the wedding?" If its yes, then say it was worth it. Plain and simple and not having to worry about hurting their feelings and creating another rift. Do this anytime that they bring up the cost or extravagance to your wedding....they will get the hint that it is a closed subject.

Advice to you....who cares what they think, you and your spouse did what you wanted and your spouse is the only one you have to answer to.....kick back and relax....you think this is annoying?? have a baby.....you will get more advice than Ann Landers and Dear Abby have ever given!!! :-)

Answer 8

I would say exactly what Gemm77 suggested. Your in-laws did their wedding the way they could afford to and you and your husband did it the way you wanted to. It's a matter of preference and, since it's in the past, there's no point in discussing it any further.

Answer 9

You and I are in the same boat! My mother in law had a simple wedding and my brother in law lives common law. I wanted the princess wedding and my husband wanted to give me that. I would not even bother explaining it to them because they won't understand that it was something you wanted.

Answer 10

What's done is done. The wedding already happened and whether they feel that it was necessary or not is not an issue anymore. Forget about it and move on with your life. There's a name for people like them. Haters!