I grew up in a family with 3 kids, I was the youngest with a brother and sister (twins) who were 4 years older. I always felt left out and lonely and didn't like how I grew up. My husband on the other hand was the third in a family with 8 kids, they were all spaced close together. He loves how he grew up and so do all of his siblings. Their only complaint is not being very wealthy and having lots of stuff. I already have 3 girls which are each spaced 20 months apart, just enough to breastfeed for 9-12 months. I've decided to have only two more kids so my kids can experience a more fun childhood, but so we can still afford things. And now that I'm over the overwhelming and hormonal stage of my last pregnancy and post-partum, I find myself wanting to space these last two at 20 months apart also. Is this a bad decision? Are there any reasons why this would cause problems for me or my family? What are your thoughts about my decision? What is your experience?
2006-09-08 05:48:53 · 5 answers · asked by mommyem 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Closely spaced just means more physical work for you during their young age (feedings, diapers,etc). It's better for them in the long run. If you can handle it, nothing wrong with it.
2006-09-08 06:25:13 · answer #1 · answered by mom_of_ndm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 3 are closely spaced. I understand what you mean about age gaps bothering you. My brothers are 13 and 11 years older, so we were never close. My kids are all 2 year spaced and now I am planning a 4th (sadly, 5 yr spacing). If you can handle it all at once, go for it. Three was hard for me to have close and I'd not have been able to cope if a 4th came when my youngest was 2. But that is me. I know several women that have 4 closely spaced kids and love it. Its all about how well you handle being exhausted and how well you juggle your family. For me, this 5 year gap is enough time to have my older kids in school so the baby will get attention too. And a mother that isn't always tired and exhausted. So plan things one birth at a time and see how it goes.
2006-09-08 06:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you already have three kids, I suggest that you wait 4 to 10 years and then have a couple more. It will be more fun for everybody. It gives your body a chance to recover. Each child would be more likely to get personalized attention and their own identity in the family. The big set of kids can help with the little set of kids while they are all children. Much later in their lives, if needed, the younger ones could care for their aging siblings.
2006-09-08 05:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by Ayliann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in my family with five of us I was the next to the oldest! We was all 2 years apart and when I started having kids I thought I would space mine out 4 years apart then now one on the way 8 years almost 9. I find having kids further apart the less closer they are to one another. My family was a tight family ALL my two kids do right now is fight fight fight. If one has a problem they take it out on another. As my child hood I can remember we went to one another for EVERYTHING. So hun that is up to you on how close you should have your babies. KNOW ONE has to raise them but you! BEST WISHES!
2006-09-08 06:40:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you and your husband are comfortable with it then do what you will. You are the only ones they can decide what works for you. Everyone has differnt goals when they start their familyies. You have yours and they seem valid for you. Have at it and good luck
2006-09-08 05:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by limgrn_maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋