what can i do to help my family which is falling apart right infront of my eyes about something that happend four years ago i fell like killing my self as i cant take this anymore u see this fight has been going on for two years and well it all about some thing so bad see my nan died last month an my mother was sad right and would not talk to anyone so they thought it was because she hated them but it was only coz she was hurtin, durin this time my father just got up and left without sayin a word to her al he said that the reson he was leaving was because im a girl an he wanted a boy, i cant help that god said i had to be a girl. anyway my hole family is in a fight ova nothing and im stuck in the middle an cant get out there all sayin all the bad thing in there live happend because im here on the earth an because im a girl! i feel like i should neva have been born there all tellin me im a mistake an i should leave an neva cme back plz i love my family wht can i do? they r nt syico!!!!!
2006-09-08 05:42:54 · 16 answers · asked by NAUGHTY GURL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Things will get better. Each and every one of us is here for a reason and of course you should be here. Your Dad is being a selfish w*****r it his own problem and it wrong of him to say these things to you. It is not your fault no way in hell is it your fault if your famly cant cope with what life has delt them it give them no reason to blame you in any way. You dont say how old you are but if you are can more out on your (Not run away) then do so if you feel you have to. It is only natural for you to love your famly but they should not be makeing you feel like this. Your mother seems to be dealing wiht the death of her own mother which can be a very hard thing for people to do and we all deal with death in our own way and it never easy.
Please dont kill your self as life in few year will be so much different. If you choice to at the right time you never have to see them again and you get on with you own life on your terms.
2006-09-08 06:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by Ben 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry about your situation. I wish that there was something I could do. There's a reason you were born. What I tell my daughter is that my main job as a mother (earl is just a stuffed troll we got at a yard sale!) is to teach her to become a good member of society and I want her to do something positive in this world- either big or small- I don't care which. That's it- kind of simple but if everyone did this, the world would be so much nicer. You are a smart, perceptive girl and even though your life isn't the best at this point in your life, it can change. This would be where you come in and try to figure out how to change it. Your father was very wrong to make that kind of statement to you where he wished you were a boy. I bet if he had a boy, he would've made the statement he wished he had a girl. This was just a cop out and a stupid reason on why he should leave his family. All I can say, is try to stay positive, go to your library and get a good book as that can be a good escape during bad situations (I've used this method a bit while I grew up!). Maybe have a talk with your mom and see if you can share some feelings. At any rate, I hope you feel better soon because you are a good person. Take care! Also, you can perhaps get in touch with a school counselor or a trusted teacher to help you sort through your feelings.
and in case you haven't noticed, there are a lot of caring people out there saying you are a worthy individual and your life is worth living!! Just look at all the wonderful responses!
2006-09-08 05:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by kewte_kewpie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! This is a tough one. First off I am sooooo sorry your family feels that way about you being a girl. It's hard when they have that mindset to change it. The only thing i can suggest is to sit down with all of them at once or atleast one on one and talk about this. It may or may not do any good, but you need to let them know you are human and do have feelings and that it's tearing you apart emotionally to see your family like this and to feel like it's your fault. It's not at all one bit your fault, your parents knew what they were doing when they created you and they also knew that they had no control on what you would be. They are still living on their hopes and dreams and you cannot help that!!
I'm not even sure you can fix it, but talking would be a GREAT place to start....communication is always has to come first.
2006-09-08 05:53:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to be a lot of issues going on and you may want to seek psychiatric (church pastor) help to sort and to get things out in the open so they wont eat at you and pull you into a depression or suicidal rage. You can't blame yourself for what they think or believe get to someone to talk about how you feel and invite them (negative family members) to join you with a professional or clergymen if they refuse that is there problem. You go, because you are a child of a higher power and are here for a reason and a purpose no matter what any human thinks FAMILY or NOT.
2006-09-08 05:51:48 · answer #4 · answered by zawadi20022002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't said how old you are, but no matter what age you are, you shouldn't be ready to give up on life. Talk to a counselor, a social worker or even the police. The police would be able to get you the help you're so crying out for. I think your family is being totally selfish and hateful. I'm going thru something similar with my family, but at my age, I don't have to talk to them thankfully. Feel free to email me...spunkyshell2000@yahoo, good luck to you! Now go get some help
2006-09-08 05:49:35 · answer #5 · answered by spunkyshell2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of that is your fault honey. Don't do any thing as rash as killing yourself over it. Talk to an adult you can trust and see if you can get some counseling from your local mental health services . I promise that you will feel better. I grew up knowing that my mom blamed me for the fact that she had to marry my dad and to add insult to injury I was a girl and took after my dads side of the family. All I have to say about it is that it wasn't my choice and she has the problem not me.
2006-09-08 05:52:45 · answer #6 · answered by S G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi first of all I want to tell you that it is not your fault any of that happened, from what you described it sounds like your family is hurting and taking it out on you because your dad left. I believe that you should talk to your mom about all of this and let her know that you are there for her when she needs you. things are a little ruff right now and people need time to deal with the feelings they have. But when they tell you that you are a mistake tell them that GOD doesn't make mistakes. I also suggest that you talk to your family and tell them that your mom still loves them but needs time to deal with this. also ask them how they would feel if it happened to them. I hope this helps and good luck
2006-09-08 06:12:51 · answer #7 · answered by nuthouse 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what ever your dad said is soo not true... he was probulary saying that cause he does not have a real excuse on why he left.. killing your self will not solve any problems... you cannot fix anyone's problems but your own. you can not mend your mom's broken heart, and you can not mend your dad's mind, you can only work on your self, and take everything that is going on around you and become a stronger individual. have the mentality that you WILL get through this and you will be strong and you will be an amazing person because of it. do not get sucked in to the black hole that is going on in your parents house..
2006-09-08 05:50:25 · answer #8 · answered by crystal s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry what you are going through I think you need to get help for your self and let you family be who they are you can't change them. I don't think your family mean to say they dont want you. I just think your just trying to hard to keep your family together maybe you just need to back off. please dont kill your self nothing is worth killing your self over! Please life is going to get better for you! You might be a furture mom or a wife and mabe you can take care of peopel who feel the way you do and safe there life. Think about that 1st
take care!
2006-09-08 11:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by black lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem is with them, not you - who you are related to by birth isn't important, despite what society tells you. The people who are important in your life are the ones who are good people and respect you. If your family is disrespecting you, get away from them. That is hard to accept for many (took me years) but that's the way it is. My life improved immensely the moment I got away from my family.
2006-09-08 05:52:16 · answer #10 · answered by bregweidd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋