I've been dating this guy for 2 years, I love him very much...but I'm unable to have children and I know it bothers him alot. My head tells me to let him go so he can find someone that can have children, but my heart won't let me. I know what I need to do but don't know how to do it. HELP
2006-09-08 04:57:45 · 17 answers · asked by to_sassy4_u 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
damn, that's tough, sorry baby.
2006-09-08 05:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by bunbury 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your head is just being practical while yr heart is feelings, instincts, emotions... (If u know what I mean)...
I know how u feel... Its very noble of u to actually sacrifice yr own happiness in order to ensure that the other party is happier.... Trust me been there and done that.... But 1st of all, are u sure that u being unable to have children is bothering him a lot and making him unhappy? Or is it just a baseless assumption from yr own self? Has he ever voice out that he is bothered and unhappy that u are unable to give him children?? Actually yr problems are rather minor in a sense that there are so many solutions u guys can worked out and adopt...
Talk to him, and ask him how he feels towards yr inability to have children.... Next, worked out solution such as adoption or anything that u guys can think of.... Technology is so advanced now that a lot of things have been make possible....
If he loves u, he won't mind.... Love is about sacrificing and working out together to solve problems.... Its not giving him up if u think it will make him happier.... There are so many options that u can do with him... Seek help together with him, find the solutions together.. At the end of the day, the sufferings together will bond u guys closer.... :)
Don't give him up cos you think it will make him happier.... Worked out together before you eventually decide that calling it quits is the only thing to do.... Let the latter be the last solution and not the immediate solution!!!! Gd luck!!! :)
2006-09-08 12:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by chocolatevanilla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe you see letting him go as an easy way out of this hurtful situation. You don't want to be the cause of his unhappiness..... Well , you should be the cause of his happiness, and nothing else. If he really loves you he will not see the fact that you can not have children as a fault, but as an obstacle you can climb together. If he is not willing to do this, or can't you can find someone who will. I know you love him, but sometimes a good relationship needs more than just love to survive. It is a sad and hard fact... He isn't a bad person if he can't do this with you... you do not need to be angry with him, or he with you. Everyone is different in how they are able to handle things in life. It sounds like you guys must have pretty good communication with each other and you owe it to yourselves to talk this through. You don't want to let him go and then always wonder what might have happened. I wish you the best with this situation, it will work out in the end just the way it was meant to...
2006-09-08 12:15:03 · answer #3 · answered by OnE GiRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u know that the children bearing is a problem that may surface in the near future then let him find happiness in the one thiong that will give him great pleasure.If u do that,it shows love.In my friend parlour is a teddy with an inscription on it, "if u love something well enough let it go if its urs it will find its way back to u" Make him happy then u'll be happy.U may end up finding someone who doesn't want kids and all ur problem is solved.Think about it.
2006-09-08 12:05:40 · answer #4 · answered by folistone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he been acting like he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, has he said anything like that. If he knows that you're not able to have kids and he still loves you and still wants to be with you then that's his decision. You don't have to give up on him if he's not asking you to. I don't know how old you are, but life has a way of working it self out, so don't stress yourself about it too much, but make sure you talk with him and let him know exactly how you feel, you might see that you really have nothing to worry about after all!
2006-09-08 12:13:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I have been pondering the same thing. I have a man I am nuts about, but he is a selfish person and I cannot come to terms with it. It breaks my heart to think about it, but I have to move on, or else I will spend the rest of my life regreting it. What you have to do is give him the option to end it, bsed on what you told us. heck, he may love you so much, kids are something you can work on inother ways-adoption, invitro etc...
if he loves you as much as you love him, you guys can work it out.
I hope he does...
2006-09-08 12:37:18 · answer #6 · answered by cici 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay with the guy even if he cant give you children. Because you love him, or see if you can picture living the rest of your life without him. I bet you cant huh, well if so then why not adopt or go to a clinic. Thats my suggestion if you are truely in love with him.
2006-09-08 12:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by Gina S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to settle that with god cause he his the one who brought u 2 this world and im sure he cant make u a barren woman so u have 2 pray 2 him 2 help you through n no that lettin ur man go is not ur problem but u not able 2 have children of ur own
if ur man truly loves u he would b willin 2 help u thru ur situation
i dont need 2 say it twice go 2 church n pray 2 god n i know he would surely answer u.peace!!!!
2006-09-08 12:09:03 · answer #8 · answered by Jd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he hasn't given your walking papers then you shouldn't even think about walking away from him. Of course it maybe a disappointment to him ex specially if he loves you as much as you love him. But it's something the to of you can work through I'm sure as long as he wants to be with you don't give up on a life with him. My uncle met this woman one day and fell in love with her she told him she couldn't have children. But because he truly loved her it didn't matter sure it was a lot for him to scarf ice but the love he had for her was awesome. They got married and they have been married for about a good 18years. Love bares all things so if you love him and he loves you hold on to him.
2006-09-08 12:13:19 · answer #9 · answered by liliw24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adopt
2006-09-08 12:00:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
can't you two work it out? maybe you could adopt a child,it's not a bad thing... if he really wants his own kids though,it's gonna be hard for both of you.... it's so sad...
i hope you'll find a solution that will make you happy!
2006-09-08 12:06:44 · answer #11 · answered by tttpsunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋