yesterday she goes up to me and go why have you spent so much money on your wedding, why dont you get married at your reception site bc i told her me and fi getting marred at church and flipped out...she said why didnt you got married how her and fi dad did it when they got married....it was her 2nd marriage....i understand shes concerned but everything for the wedding will be worth it, I went all out for this wedding and its going to be worth it, maybe i did go overboard with paying alot of stuff for this wedding.
2006-09-08 04:52:50 · 26 answers · asked by Newlywed 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
dont say any mean questions because I love this woman to death like shes my own mother
2006-09-08 04:55:45 · update #1
I had 10,000 in my account before this wedding. Now its down to 5,000 but lately I been putting money aside from my work check.
2006-09-08 05:03:34 · update #2
Honey, pick up the phone right now, or better yet go see her. Tell her exactly what you told us. Especially the part about loving her like her own mother. Tell her you just may have gone overboard but you want to make this wedding the most special not only for you but for her son too. Explain that you understand why she is concerned, but tell her you got things under control. Every young women deserves to have her fairytale wedding. I am a new mother-in-law, and I have told my new son to always come and talk with me. Please remember to tell her about how much you love her...
I wish you the happiest of weddings and I am so glad to hear you love your Mother-in-law, now let's getting to making up.
God bless us all....................
2006-09-08 05:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you may love this woman as if she was your own mother, she really has no reason to be mad at you for planning your wedding the way you want it to be. She planned hers and maybe she thought that was the best way to go at the time, but everyone has their own opinion and preferance as to how they wish for their big day to go. Just because your ideas and vision is a little different than hers doesn't give her the right to be mad at you. I would suggest that you just give her a little time, she will realize that even though she may be concerned about the cost, it really isn't her decision. If she loves you as much as you say you love her than she will understand that it is your wedding and that you will be happy to have it the way you want it, not the way anyone else wants it, including her. Going "over board" with wedding plans is completely normal, every bride does it. And believe it or not a lot of "mother- in - laws" disagree with wedding plans for some reason. I would just not talk to her much about wedding plans. I'm not saying don't talk to her, I'm just saying skip the wedding talk for a week or so and hopefully she will let it go. Your wedding planning should be fun, for God sakes you'll only be doing this once and every bride wants for her big day to be "perfect". I'm sure she felt the same way when she was planning her own wedding. Smile :) and Congratulations:)
2006-09-08 12:37:50 · answer #2 · answered by **hope/faith**1744 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother-in-law did the same thing. She had some crazy ideas about ways we should do the wedding in order to lower the costs.
Just explain that you and your fiance are paying for the wedding, and you aren't overextending your finances. Outright ask her why she is sensitive to the costs of the wedding. She'll either stammer on about nothing and drop it, or she'll give you a real reason (like she feels that more guests could be invited if you spent less on other things). Then focus on the real issue, but I really doubt she's going on about this for no reason.
2006-09-08 14:40:52 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the world of in-laws.
Since she isn't paying the costs, you need to gently remind her that it is your money and your day, so you are doing what is going to make you happy. You also need to remind her, again gently, that she has had her chance for the perfect day, you haven't. You don't need to point out that she has been married twice, that would be rude and disrespectful. You just need to ask her if she would have considered doing things differently just for the sake of money, when the money was available. You aren't taking out a loan, you aren't putting yourself into debt, and you aren't begging money from friends and family. It was there in your account to begin with, it was why you were saving, and you planned on the money being used for your special day. Remind her that this is your one and only (hopefully) chance at a wedding day, you will remember it for the rest of your life, and you want it to be perfect to go with your perfect fiance. A complement to her and her son is a good way to get on her good side. Remind her of how much you love him, how much of a wonderful job she did raising him, etc...
She won't be a push over, but she may see that you love her son, and you only want the best for your marriage.
2006-09-08 13:35:22 · answer #4 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When u r getting married 4 the first time u want it to be very special. U should just explain that that to her. There are people that spend a lot more than that on their weddings. She will get over it.
2006-09-08 12:13:19 · answer #5 · answered by sis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to anyone, this will be your special day. Before the wedding, there is a lot of chaos and everyone has to put their 2 cents in. You are going to look lovely on the day of your wedding and make sure you enjoy the day.
2006-09-08 14:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really is none of her business what you and your finance want to do at your wedding. Try to keep the peace when it comes to your in-laws to be and let it go in one ear and out the next and keep smiling as she talks.( I had a mother in law that always had something to say to me no matter what I did) Have a nice wedding.
2006-09-08 12:02:32 · answer #7 · answered by Bazinga 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain that this is your wedding and that you love her son and want the best wedding for the both of you. You don't need her negative junk. Beware your new mother in law may have raised a mama's boy. He should be telling her to leave it alone.
2006-09-08 11:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really love my mother-in-law. Of all the women I know, I have the best one. However, I am not her and she is not me. We have disputes now and again, as people always do. Disagreeing with your mother-in-law is not unusual, it's par for the course. This is your wedding, yours. She had hers, and as long as you're not asking her to foot the bill for crap she doesn't approve of, then it's not her place to say a thing. Try to use your best manners, so that she will see, you are not going to compromise, and you don't have to be so rude about it like she does.
2006-09-08 13:10:17 · answer #9 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let her know you understand she is only showing concern for your finances, but this is YOUR wedding. You are paying for it, and you believe it is worth every penny. This is (hopefully) the only wedding you will ever have, and you want it to be the way YOU want it.
2006-09-08 13:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋